End of Summer Update

School is starting soon, hooray!! Honestly, I'm totally stoked. It's been a rough summer without a car, and I think we're all feeling stir-crazy and ready for some structure and routine!

I've been thinking about it all and realized that I haven't been grateful for the things that were great about this summer. Thing is, I'm super great at wallowing in self-pity, and not always the best at being grateful when things are hard. But this summer hasn't been a total bust, even if it didn't look how I'd initially envisioned. I noticed I started feeling really bummed about it after reading another person's blog post about how great their summer has been. I let their good times get me down. I've been thinking about it more today, and spent some time looking through some photos from our summer, and am feeling a lot better about it than I was. I shared a bit about my new perspective on ig today.

I'm still stoked for school to start, though. Ha. 

We're finally in the process of car shopping, which is not the most fun, but I am grateful that we can finally start on the road to finding a new family vehicle. Although I kind of dread this part, I'm also hopeful that we'll find a van that fits our ever-growing family, is in good condition and doesn't totally break the bank. Prayers/good thoughts are appreciated.

And we've sort-of started on back to school shopping, but we have to do it in waves, ha. Over the weekend I took our soon-to-be kindergartener to get some new shoes for school. (Just don't get me started on how I feel about my 4th babe going into kinder.) The one I think all the bosslings are most excited for, though, is backpack shopping. I'm kind of excited to see what each of them choose, I think a lot of their personality shines through when they choose their pack, and it's fun to see.

Are you excited or bummed that summer is nearly (or already - I'm looking at you, AZ) over?? 

Life Just Keeps Moving

I pulled out my personal journal for the first time in over a year this afternoon. That means the last time I wrote in it, we were still living in Arizona, and honestly, didn't even know yet that we would be moving soon, nevermind all of the things that have happened in the year since. I've been wanting to get back into regular writing for a while now, I just kept pushing it off, meanwhile, time just keeps trucking along, whether I like it or not. It makes me want to be better at writing in my personal journal because having a physical record and notes of the passing of time makes it feel a bit less severe or shocking.

Speaking of severe and shocking, this is the last week of school for my older kids. I only have to hassle them to get out of bed and out the door for 4 more days. Which, in some ways, feels magical (goodbye, invasive early alarms!), and in others, terrifying. 12 weeks with all the kids home with me every day... (Maybe those invasive alarms aren't so bad after all...?) 

The truth is, I've been working on a plan to maintain sanity, a list of activities and outings to break up the dog days of summer. I did something similar last year, and I felt like it made a huge difference. I need to finish putting this year's plan in order, but it's on its way, so I'm not feeling as apprehensive about going into summer break as I let on. 

Anyway, I've been feeling the pull to get back to writing and sharing here, so I'm going to try and be better about that, too. Now for a little photo dump of things that have happened recently. 

At a wedding reception, early May.

Look how big everyone is getting!

Yard hangs. And somebody got glasses...

Bosslings 2 & 3 earned an award from school!

Sisters, including the best little scowler.

E and her friend, K. Baby H being silly.

35 Self-Care Ideas

For the past several years I have struggled with various levels of burn out, I've talked a bit about it from time to time. (Here, for example.) Once I became aware of my burn out, I began my search for a solution, and that's when I learned about the importance of self-care. Self-care is something I've struggled with since I first began to implement it in my life, sometimes doing better and other times letting it slip. I know I feel better when I take time for myself and get a break from the sometimes mundane and repetitious day-to-day of motherhood, but struggle to be consistent with it.

While talking with my sister yesterday, I realized how little I've been taking care of myself lately, something I know is detrimental to me and everyone around me. Being a mother is incredibly rewarding, but that doesn't mean it isn't also extremely overwhelming. When I am frazzled and burnt out I am not at my best (duh). I'm snappy and irritable, I'm more likely to be impatient, more likely to stick the kids in front of the TV for hours, and I frequently end up checking out by staring at my phone for way longer than anyone needs to. 

As we spoke, my sister challenged me to make a list of self-care ideas to be able to choose from when I need a break. As I wrote, I thought to myself that I am definitely not the only person who needs this. I know the whole self-care idea isn't new, it's one of those topics that I hear brought up frequently in church and among moms that I know or that I follow on social media. We hear over and over how important it is, but I think a lot of us still struggle to make it a priority, which is why we're still talking about it. So I decided to share my list with you and to encourage you to make your own list if mine doesn't resonate with you.

35 Self-Care Ideas:

1. Create something.

2. Start or work on a knitting project.

3. Paint something.

4. Make a collage of things that make you happy.

5. Start/work on an art journal.

6. Draw a page of doodles.

7. Write a short story.

8. Color in a coloring book.

9. Get dressed for the day.

10. Paint your nails.

11. Do your hair and make-up.

12. Stretch for 5 minutes.

13. Hydrate yourself.

14. Get outside.

15. Watch the sunrise/sunset.

16. Ride a bike.

17. Look at the sky, be still, breathe.

18. Take a walk.

19. Feel the sun on your face.

20. Turn on some music and dance.

21. Go for a drive.

22. Go on a photo walk/adventure.

23. Blow bubbles.

24. Eat a tasty treat.

25. Go to the temple.

26. Study scriptures/gospel literature.

27. Make a gratitude list.

28. Write a love note to yourself.

29. Buy fresh flowers.

30. Read a good book.

31. Organize something.

32. Put your phone down.

33. Go out on a girls night.

34. Write a letter to a friend.

35. List the things you love about yourself.

Is self-care something that comes easy to you, or do you struggle like I do? Let's all make a goal to take some time this week to do something for ourselves. Tell me in the comments what you plan to do!

This Is a Problem

I'll start by saying that sharing this is really hard. I am so ashamed of what I'm about to show you, of what I'm about to say. But I feel like I need to do this, so I'm going to do it.

I have a bow addiction. Ha ha, yes, don't we all? No, seriously, this is a problem for me. Let me show you what bow addiction looks like:

Fancy Free Finery - 43 pieces

Collective Creations C - 15 pieces

Loved by Sophia Claire - 10 pieces

Poppy Mayflower - 20 pieces

Baby Bow Club - 34 pieces

Modern Piggy - 60 pieces

Wunderkin Co. - 20 pieces

The Modern Little - 16 pieces

Little Poppy Co. - 25 pieces

That's 243 bows. Wow, right? And that isn't even all of them. To be completely honest, there are already more on their way (some of which are winnings, but still), plus at least 20 more bows from other shops that I didn't even photograph.

I mean, it's a gorgeous collection, sure. But it's so much more than that. Some of the main things this collection represent are money we didn't have spent, secrecy, and lies. I've said so many times that I'd settle down or stop buying bows completely, but I keep doing it. Full disclosure, I actually bought another one while working on this post. Did that make you cringe? It made me. I told myself no, but then I saw that there was only one left, and suddenly there was this urgency. This is such a problem, I can see it, but I struggle to stop.

But let's back up a moment. This really starts with a story about a 14 year old girl who wanted to belong somewhere. A specific somewhere, to be honest. Junior high, as we all know, is a hard time. For me, it was when my elementary school friendships shifted, as my old friends found new friends and I didn't. Okay, that's not true. I did. But they weren't the "right" friends, they weren't the "popular" kids.

In junior high, we wore uniforms, navy or khaki bottoms and red, white, or navy tops. Even with that dress code, you could tell who the "rich" kids were. I wasn't one. I was in hand-me-down, ill-fitting clothes, and I didn't feel good about it. There was a part of me that just knew that if I only had better clothes, did my hair right, and looked the part, the "cool" kids would finally notice me, we'd start hanging out, and they would realize what an awesome person I was.

I was so sure this would happen that, even though I didn't have the clothes, I pushed away the people who did want to be my friends, because the "cool" kids would never notice me if I was seen with those losers. (Guys, I was a jerk. A soft-spoken, passive aggressive jerk.) I ended middle school with plenty of signatures in my yearbooks, but no real friends.

So, there I was, 14 years old, about to enter high school. My junior high fed into three high schools, two of the three got the most, but I was zoned for the third one. There were only a handful of kids from junior high that ended up at my high school, of that handful, I only knew a few. I was nervous, but I was also excited. This would be a new beginning for me. I just knew that I would get to that school and suddenly people would see me and know me and I would be in the popular group and have so many friends... It was going to be great, I could feel it.

Over the summer I earned some money from a few baby-sitting jobs. Pretty sure it was only, like, $50 - but at that time it felt like so much! I wanted to make a good impression, which I was sure meant having the right clothes and shoes, from name brands, like Roxy, American Eagle, Vans, and Etnies. I took myself to the mall one afternoon, feeling energized and confident as I walked into Roxy/Quicksilver, only the first in a list of stores I planned to visit, and began looking through the racks. But the more I looked the worse I began to feel. $50 was not going to go far in this store, but I had to buy from there! My future popularity depended on it! I would just have to pass on the other stores I'd planned to visit. I settled on a few items - like the shirt I'd wear on the first day as well as for my yearbook photo - took them to the cashier and said goodbye to my money. As I walked out of that store, I knew I'd made a mistake, but this idea that I was now assured popularity was louder, so I let it go.

I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this. I wore the shirt, and whatever else I bought, but they did not thrust me into popularity like I'd hoped. I ended up kind of floating through high school, I made some friends, but it was nothing like I'd expected. It was really disappointing. It wasn't long before I fell into a deep depression. I tried to run from my problems by transferring schools sophomore year, but in some ways that only made it worse.

I went back to my original school for my junior year, determined to have a different experience. A lot of my actions were still motivated by the desire to belong, which fueled my depression, but I was also trying to figure out who I was. I cut my hair super short, and then kept cutting it shorter and shorter, because it turned out that I loved it. I started to be more adventurous in the clothes that I wore, and it turned out that I had an unconventional and eclectic style, and it brought immense joy to honor that. By senior year, I felt more confident in my personal style, and in who I was. I still had those desires to be popular, and I still struggled with depression, but focusing less on what I didn't have and honoring my personal style helped immensely.

And then high school was over. Life happened, a lot of life - good, bad, ugly - I found someone who loved me at my lowest and helped bring me back from a dark place, and I married him. This is the part where the fairy tale ends with "and they lived happily ever after", but that isn't my story. I went from 19 and married to a new mom at 20. These were things that felt right and good, but just because something is right and good doesn't mean it's easy. There were times that I regretted the choice to get married young. I thought about all the things I was missing out on, like how I've always wanted to live in a studio apartment in a beautiful old brick building in some city. These were the MySpace days, which allowed me a peek at what my old high school classmates were up to. Thanks to the digital age, high school no longer ends at graduation! And I take the fault there, because I chose to look at what others were doing and compare my life to theirs. We all know how good getting stuck in the comparison trap feels, right?

Then people started leaving MySpace for Facebook. I resisted for a while, MySpace got a little quieter, and didn't bother me as much. Eventually I left MySpace and joined Facebook. At first I felt this need to add all the people, especially people from high school, you know, because I was genuinely concerned and interested in their lives! *wink* It got to a point where I realized I was spending way too much time on the computer, I knew I needed a break. I think I took a month to go almost completely offline, save for online banking and the occasional email check. It changed my relationship with Facebook in a way, I could see how unimportant a lot of it was, and I was able to clean out my friends list to those who I actually had relationships with. I've not been perfect in that, but my previous breaks from Facebook have helped me not feel such a need to spend hours scrolling.

I'm sure you're wondering, what does this have to do with the bows? Let's get to that.

I joined Instagram a little over 4 years ago. First it was just another way to keep up with people I knew and share photos I'd taken, since it turned out that I really enjoyed photography and wanted to share it with the world. I started to discover other accounts, there are so many amazing photographers on there. I also started to see some baby products popping up, but because my baby was a boy, there wasn't a huge pull to those, since they were mostly geared towards girls (specifically bows).

Then I had a baby girl, and suddenly the world exploded and there were a million bow shops, each with gorgeous product. We didn't have a lot of money, but eventually the pull became to great - curse you Black Friday deals! - and I began to buy. I tried to be realistic, but these shops are constantly coming out with new fabrics and styles, and I kept throwing money at them, and putting these bows on my baby, tagging the photos, and hoping that they would be re-posted. When my photos were featured, it only fueled the fire, and when we got our tax return, it got bad.

Finding a special package in the mail brought such a thrill, and they were coming with frequency. Bit by bit, our return was dwindling. Suddenly we were preparing for a move, and I tried so hard to resist buying more bows or bibs or whatever, but it was hard to resist as each new release, sale, or special was right there in my face, taunting me from my news feed.

Here's where the shame comes in. I couldn't stop. I kept buying, and in my shame, I tried, still try, to hide it from my husband. Finances were tight before we moved, and they've been tight since, as well, but I've continued buying. We budget and plan, and then we run out of money and I blame it on his spending, even though I know mine is just as bad or worse. Real talk, and guys, so much shame right here, but we don't even have the means to get me in to see a dentist - something I desperately need to do as my teeth are in poor shape (I'm trying so hard to share, but the shame is still keeping it vague, it's really bad, though) - and I'm still ordering bows.

The big question is: WHY? I've thought and thought about this, and every time the thought that I come to is: I buy the bows, tag the shops in my photos, they share them on their feeds, and suddenly I'm discovered, more and more people visit my profile and see how amazing I am, and then they follow, and the number grows and grows, finally I'm popular. Not to mention that shops start sending me products for free, so that I can post about it! This is the fantasy world I created in my mind. But it's far from reality. In reality, I have had photos shared, and I have even received some free and discounted products! But I've also spent hundreds of dollars - I'm scared to find out the actual dollar amount of all my purchases - but it hasn't gained me the mass popularity my fantasy world claimed it would.

Yes, I've got an impressive collection of headbands for my baby girl, and a few for her big sister, but other than being really beautiful, they really don't do much. They're just things, but I've placed this huge importance on them. I've fallen right back into the trap that I did as a young teen, only this time I'm pimping out my baby daughter in the hopes that I'll get attention...? Why? What is the purpose?

Guys, I don't even know. But I do know that something needs to change. I need to change. This thought process that I've gotten stuck in is a fantasy.

I've heard and read that shame thrives in secrecy, and this mentality is definitely something that I've held tight to my chest, as I've held to the belief that if people knew the real me, all my flaws, failings, and shortcomings, they wouldn't like me. But all I want is to feel like I belong, to be seen, to be accepted for who I am. But how can that happen when I'm not sure who that is, who I am? I feel like senior year-me was the closest to knowing, but I'm so far from there, and I don't know how to get back to that place. Not back to that age or time, but back to that mentality of honoring myself and caring less about what others might think of me.

There are so many words here, I don't even know how to end this, and if you've made it this far, I'm impressed. I guess, I felt the need to share this in the hope that, if there is anyone out there who is going through something similar, this helps you to see that you're not alone. Lastly, I think I'll share some words with you that I need to hear, and maybe you do, too:

You are enough. Take away all the things that you think you need to be accepted, you're still enough. You are important, regardless of how many or how few friends or followers you have. You are loved, even at your worst. Your worth is not determined by your visibility online, your worth is inherent, unchanged by location, social status, or anything else. You are amazing and capable of so much. Don't waste your energy flailing about trying to get people's attention and drowning instead. You have everything you need inside of you. Go outside, listen to the birds singing, look at the stars, close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and breathe... You are here, you are alive, you are a walking miracle. Feel it, believe it, know it. Everything is going to be okay.

It's 2018?!

I've been pretty absent from this space, for quite a while - I know,
but I wanted to pop in real quick to tell you...

I can't believe it is 2018. We're living in the future! This is crazy.

*all photos by me, using a long exposure and my husband's flashlight, 
edited on my phone with the snapseed app.

baby number six

So many things have happened since my last post. I mean, whoa, that was Halloween. Whoops.

Anyway, biggest news is that the bosslings are out of school next Thursday. Oh, and we're having another baby. Bossling #6 will arrive sometime in September!

Last month I went in for an ultrasound and we got some pretty exciting news....

Look at those lips! 

That's right! A girl! We're all pretty excited, but nobody is more excited that a certain sweet girl who had been wishing, hoping, and praying for a sister for years!

Finally! A sister!

There's so much that's been happening, and these babies of mine are growing up so fast. After looking through some old blog posts recently, and reading things that I have no recollection of, I have a major desire to get back into writing more often. I don't want to forget what these monkeys are like right now.

It might not be easy with summer break right around the corner, but I'm really hoping to get back into the swing of somewhat more regular posting, if only for the sake of my inability to remember stuff.

mama bird

A few years ago I saw a tutorial somewhere online for these bird nest necklaces. As soon as I saw it, I wanted to make my own. They're so simple and beautiful, and really pretty easy to make.

It was a while before I finally did pick up the needed supplies at Michaels, but since then I've made so many, I'm not even sure of the number anymore. 

When we were preparing to move from Colorado to Arizona, I took a bunch of orders to help my family with the cost of our move. It felt really great to not only be able to make something, but to have people interested in owning what I made, and that I was able to help my family in the process.

I've had so many people suggest that I open a shop, or set up a website for my necklaces, but doing so hasn't felt right for me at this time, though it is something I think about often and may do in the future. But, even without a shop, I'm always open to taking orders, and actually just completed an order a little over a week ago.

I think one of my favorite things about making these necklaces for others has been the stories that have been shared with me, specifically the stories of women who have experienced loss and received comfort in having a way to honor their sweet angel(s), and the stories of the comfort and hope the necklaces have given to women experiencing the pains of infertility. It's been incredible to make something that can hold so much meaning for another, and I feel honored to have been able to provide this service for so many. ♡

If you're interested in ordering a necklace, please, shoot me an email and we'll talk!

winners

The results are in. (Think it took me long enough?)

But, before that, I've got to tell you a funny little story.
Remember how Conrad said the new baby would be a sister? Well, I believed him, because I think the young ones just know those sorts of things. And several other people believed him, too. But he tricked us all.
Because my laboring and birthing was happening around the time that the kids wake up, we asked Mr. Boss's mom to come and take them for the day. (I was worried that they would get scared if they saw/heard me during my laboring. Also, we wanted to be able to rest after our baby arrived, without the need to meet the demands of the older kids.) They left about 30 minutes before Zeke arrived.
Later, Mr. Boss was talking with his mom, and she told him something very interesting. On their way to her house, Gramma asked Conrad (one last time) if "Porcupine" was a brother or a sister. I'm sure she was expecting he'd say sister, like he always did. Except he didn't. "Porcupine is a brother." he told her, matter-of-factly. (Their little q & a was about 15-20 minutes before our new baby boy was born.)

Now.
Here are the winners of the big
gender/weight/birthday guessing game:
Because nobody guessed the exact weight or date,
winnings go to the closest guess.

Birthday:
Kalen, who guessed June 16th
Honorable mention: Sarah, who guessed June 17th.

Weight:
Gabby, who guessed 9 lbs
Honorable mention: Kalen and my mom, who both guessed 8 lbs 5 oz.

Gender:
Rachael, Chloe, Alexa, Kalen, poopstane1, Brandi W., Sarah B. and Alicia K., who all correctly guessed: boy.

a million things.

For starters, we moved to Arizona. Over two months ago! Surprise!

But! Before we left Colorado, we had a bunch of last hoorah-type adventures. I'm hoping to tell you about them sometime. 

And then! We've had a pretty wild time since we've been in AZ, so there's that stuff to talk about. 

Also! That cutie pie cuddling up to me will be one next month! And I've hardly even talked about him on here. What?!

Most of all? Hi! I'm still here, just about drowning under my million things, but I thought it was about time I popped in for a quick hello.

Okay, bye.

rare morning.

I set a goal for this week, to wake up at 6 every morning. This is day 2: 

I climbed out of bed at 6:05; bleary eyed, but determined. I switched on the lamp and turned up the heat because the house felt chilly. I wondered for a moment how I should start my day. I plugged in the Christmas lights and looked around my cluttered living room. First things first, I am going to tidy up this room while the children are out of the way. The sky outside our large living room window was dark as I worked, but I could see the darkness slowly beginning to fade into light. I skip vacuuming for now, it's too early.

I want to get the dishes done, but the couch looks inviting, so I settle in with a blanket and Book of Mormon. It's been so long since I read. I had made a reading goal for the year, but fell off track with it back in April and hadn't managed to get myself back into it. I pick up my phone and check my instagram notifications. Then notice the daily reading prompt from bofm365 on my home feed. I decide to read that.

I tried to read slowly and thoughtfully, but it was less than a chapter, so I finished quickly. The sky is much lighter, the clouds slightly tinged orange.

I reach for the December Ensign on my desk and read through that. My eyes feel tired. I need to stop reading. I kneel beside the couch to give thanks for the new day. Afterward, I realize this would be a great time to write, and turn on my computer. Then I change my mind. First, yoga.

I scan my memory, to recall the routine from one of the videos I have gotten from the library. It probably wasn't exact, but my practice was still pretty close. The sun touches the tips of the trees, giving the bare branches a golden glow. I hear the children talking in their room as I lay down for savasana. Breathe.

I can still hear them talking as I sit up again, the door begins to open as I whisper “Namaste.” I place my hands on my folded knees, the noise of the day begins to grow. I close my eyes and try to hang on to the quiet a moment longer. I hear footsteps. I open my eyes as my little two year old stumbles towards me. Arms open wide, he barrels into my for a big, good morning squeeze.

The sky outside is now a pale blue, thin gray clouds stretched out like blankets. The children are awake and talking my ear off. I can hear the baby talking to himself. The house comes to life.

Good Morning.

begin again.

It's hard to believe it had been a year since I walked away from this blog. What a year it has been, a roller coaster of ups and downs, adventures and time at home, birthdays and a brand new baby.

For a few months after stepping away I felt free. I used to enjoy blogging, but I was no longer finding joy in it. Life was feeling hectic and overwhelming and blogging felt like too much on top of an overflowing plate of everything. So, to say I was letting that go felt so good.

But, for the past couple of months, I've been feeling the pull to return. My children are still small, but growing fast, and I treasure the old posts that I can look back on. I want more of those. Plus, I take so many pictures and they're just taking up space on my hard drive. They've been begging me to let them out to play.

With that, I am returning. I'm hoping to go easy on myself, because blogging is no longer fun when it feels like an obligation, and I want it to be fun.

I've got so much I want to share, I guess it's time to get started!

the end.

I keep trying to figure out how to word this post, keep feeling like I need to give some long-winded, poignant explanation, but the truth is: I don't have to explain myself. I don't have to write this post at all.
But, I want to make it known that I will not be posting any more. I'm quitting the blog. My reasons are few and many and all my own.
I don't know if I'm done forever or just for a while, I just know that, for right now, I need to be done.
Thanks for reading,
Crissy

scatter-brained

So, I've been a great big slacker as of late. I've wanted to blog, I have something important that I've been planning to write about for a few weeks, now. But the days keep slipping by and nothing is getting done.

I was thinking, why is it that I can't seem to update like I used to? Part of it is, I think, a lack of motivation. Part, that I don't have as much time. Although, that is misleading. I'm frequently online, but it's usually while I'm holding/nursing Mr. Mama's Boy, Cupcake. And it's not very pleasant or easy to type with his weight on my arms. Another reason, I realized, why I can't seem to devote enough brain-power in a day to generate a post of some sort is the fact that nap time at my house is, for the most part, non-existent.

C and E were both great nappers. They were so good, when I said it was nap time, they would grab their pacifiers, climb into their beds, and sleep for hours. Oh, it was glorious. Z was a great sleeper, too. After he was born, I had about 5 minutes (harsh exaggeration) of bliss when three children would nap peacefully at the same time.... But I decided to wean C from his pacifier, and after that he didn't nap anymore. A few months later, I weaned E. Because, apparently, I was crazy. She stopped taking regular naps after that, too.

Z is a special case, because he is a thumb-sucker. I can't exactly wean him from his soother, so he continued to be a great napper. Right up until a few months ago. Quite suddenly, it seemed, he decided naps were beneath him, and they became an irregular thing. On top of that, I have a baby who won't take a pacifier, finger, or thumb. A baby who refuses to nap unless he is in constant physical contact with his mother.

It's made it difficult to get much done. Some days I'll strap S to my back, and he falls asleep there, leaving my hands free to accomplish tasks that are otherwise neglected. Those tasks are usually dishes, or some other cleaning task around the house. Sometimes I will simply veg out, mindlessly browsing the internet for something entertaining. (In those cases, I do consider blogging, but the motivation isn't really there. Sigh)

But, tonight I am sucking it up and posting. Everyone is in bed, and I really should be, too. But this is important too. Well, maybe not this post so much. But the one that will follow (hopefully sooner than later) is important. There is an announcement that I want to make on this blog. It's likely that everyone who reads this blog already knows about the news I plan to share, but I'm going to put it out anyway. So look for that. (Seriously, though, I really hope I get that post up by the end of the week, and if I haven't posted again by Saturday, you are welcome to heckle me.)

Until then, enjoy this: S stood himself up for the first time today!

He was pretty proud of himself, and rightfully so!

and then I fell off the face of the planet...

I didn't intend to do that, to go three weeks without any word. I really wanted to finish the bedim challenge. But we can all see how that turned out...

The past three weeks, and really the past few months, have been a major roller coaster for me. I've ridden the uppiest ups and the downiest downs. It's been... something. And, while I've tried, I haven't really been able to focus or concentrate on much of anything. (Except for baking. Suddenly I am a baking queen.)

Life keeps rolling on by, with me struggling to keep up. And everything compounded by the fact that baby S is now mobile. He's an army/caterpillar crawler, but the boy is speedy. Along with that, our vacuum is on the fritz. So, that alone is keeping me pretty frazzled.

All this to say: I'm not dead. Also, don't be surprised if posting continues to be sporadic.

Over and out.

spring and advice

Thick grey clouds have colored the sky for most of the day. It's the sort of day that would normally leave me feeling a bit gloomy, but not today. Because when those great grey clouds released their moisture it was in the form of rain, not snow! Oh, glorious day! Not only that, but I'm finally seeing some sure signs of spring. The most cheerful being the forsythia bush around the corner, the one I told you about, with the blossoms that had shriveled up. It has sprung back to life, and little yellow blossoms are popping open all over it:

And this:Yay! Spring!

Today's prompt is a piece of advice you have for others. At first I was thinking that I could share some tips on what has worked for me as a mother. But I decided against that, because something better popped into my head.

Do what works best for you. I could go on and on about the things that have worked for me, as a mother, but also in other areas of life. Preparing speeches, writing papers, appreciating nature, blah, blah, blah. All that I could say isn't really any good. Just because something works for me, doesn't mean it will work for you. Just because something comes easily to me, doesn't mean it will to you. So, follow your heart, figure out what works for you and do it, and don't let anybody make you feel guilty or stupid, because they only know what works for them (and their children). Only you can know what is best for you (and your children).

Also: smile more.

I have nothing to say, so let's talk about the weather.

Spring is taking it's dear sweet time coming to Denver. While we were in Utah, I couldn't help but notice the trees thickly covered in blossoms, flowers everywhere in full bloom. Returning to Denver was a bit depressing. The trees are still bare, everything is so brown and bland. A day or two after we'd arrived home I noticed a forsythia bush that's in a neighbor's yard around the corner from us. To my delight I could see a few yellow blossoms opening on the branches. Finally! Spring! I drove past that same bush on Sunday, on my way to church assuming I would find covered in yellow, like this bush that I saw near my sister's house in Utah:

Instead, I saw brown. The yellow blossoms I'd seen just a few days before had become shriveled, orange-brown petals. I took the children on a little walk after church, and passed by this bush, to take a closer look. How depressing.

We did notice a few signs of spring on our walk. A few bushes with green buds and tiny, new leaves. Somebody's lawn covered in these little purple flowers.

Yesterday we experienced an all day snowfall. At first I didn't feel too bad about it, even though it never stopped coming down, because it wasn't really sticking. But sometime in the afternoon the air got colder, the flakes got bigger, and the snow started to stick. I measured the snow on my front porch before bed last night and got 5 inches. This morning I shoveled the front walk and measured the snow on the hood of my car, 8.5 inches. I told Mr. Boss yesterday, as we watched the snow falling outside our living room window, "This weather makes me think I need to be pulling out my Christmas decorations."

Instead, I drank multiple cups of hot chocolate and stared at the bouquet of tulips on the kitchen table, willing them to cheer me up.

perfection.

The babes and I took a trip to Utah last week. It was kind of wild and crazy, but also wonderful and so fun.
I'd like to tell you about it, but for now, enjoy this shot of my littlest babies napping together.
(Say it with me now: "Awwww...")

tooth watch

We're on tooth watch with this little mister.
I'm pretty vigilant about checking his little gums several times a day.
Every day.
They are so swollen now, white from the pressure underneath.
I don't know how much longer it will be, but soon my little baby will have teeth.
I might cry.
Being a mom sure makes a person silly.
Sometimes.

this is why i love having a little girl in my home

I love my boys. I adore my boys. They are silly and wild and totally adorable. But I am so glad that I have a girl.
Not only because it means I'm not the only female among males, but also for these other fine reasons:
pretty dresses
sparkly shoes
hair to play with!
wake dreaming, as she called it
tiny painted fingers and toes
having a reason to hang pretty things up around the house
a dressed up kitty
Oh, yes. I love my girl!