Sonder & Whimsy

I learned to knit when I was a teenager. I definitely enjoyed having yet another way of expressing my creativity, and it was fun to see the surprise and wonder on people's faces when they saw me doing something that was more frequently associate with much older women.

When I started, my skills were understandably limited, for several years I only made scarves of varying lengths. It wasn't until after I had children that I started attempting larger/more complicated projects, like blankets and hats. At one point, I borrowed some knitting videos from the library, which is how I learned how to purl, rib, & cable. 

It was after my current youngest was born that I started trying to do even more. Since she was born I've knit a sweater, a tunic, learned how to knit lace patterns, and have made countless baby bonnets. 

It's the bonnets that I've really put my focus into. I mean, is there anything cuter than a sweet babe in a knit bonnet? I've created quite a few of my own designs, as well as figuring out how to make some based on pictures I'd seen online, and then adding my own flair to them. 

Last fall, I dreamed up some adorable Christmas bonnets and decided to open an etsy shop, that I named "Sonder & Whimsy, " to sell them. I got a few sales last year, and a few early on in the spring, then came the summer lull. But, even though I wasn't knitting as much, I was still brainstorming and planning. And finally, last Friday, I listed just a small helping of what I've been creating. These are more Halloween themed, and I wanted to get them up weeks ago, but better late than never, right?

I've got some more autumn designs and colors, as well as some new Christmas bonnets I've been thinking up... We'll see how much I can actually accomplish with this newest babe due in about a month, ha. Honestly though, this new little one has helped light a fire under me. I've come up with some new patterns and have been knitting up a storm testing them out. 

For now, a quick share of my newest listings. Aren't they darling and perfect for this time of year? 

35 Self-Care Ideas

For the past several years I have struggled with various levels of burn out, I've talked a bit about it from time to time. (Here, for example.) Once I became aware of my burn out, I began my search for a solution, and that's when I learned about the importance of self-care. Self-care is something I've struggled with since I first began to implement it in my life, sometimes doing better and other times letting it slip. I know I feel better when I take time for myself and get a break from the sometimes mundane and repetitious day-to-day of motherhood, but struggle to be consistent with it.

While talking with my sister yesterday, I realized how little I've been taking care of myself lately, something I know is detrimental to me and everyone around me. Being a mother is incredibly rewarding, but that doesn't mean it isn't also extremely overwhelming. When I am frazzled and burnt out I am not at my best (duh). I'm snappy and irritable, I'm more likely to be impatient, more likely to stick the kids in front of the TV for hours, and I frequently end up checking out by staring at my phone for way longer than anyone needs to. 

As we spoke, my sister challenged me to make a list of self-care ideas to be able to choose from when I need a break. As I wrote, I thought to myself that I am definitely not the only person who needs this. I know the whole self-care idea isn't new, it's one of those topics that I hear brought up frequently in church and among moms that I know or that I follow on social media. We hear over and over how important it is, but I think a lot of us still struggle to make it a priority, which is why we're still talking about it. So I decided to share my list with you and to encourage you to make your own list if mine doesn't resonate with you.

35 Self-Care Ideas:

1. Create something.

2. Start or work on a knitting project.

3. Paint something.

4. Make a collage of things that make you happy.

5. Start/work on an art journal.

6. Draw a page of doodles.

7. Write a short story.

8. Color in a coloring book.

9. Get dressed for the day.

10. Paint your nails.

11. Do your hair and make-up.

12. Stretch for 5 minutes.

13. Hydrate yourself.

14. Get outside.

15. Watch the sunrise/sunset.

16. Ride a bike.

17. Look at the sky, be still, breathe.

18. Take a walk.

19. Feel the sun on your face.

20. Turn on some music and dance.

21. Go for a drive.

22. Go on a photo walk/adventure.

23. Blow bubbles.

24. Eat a tasty treat.

25. Go to the temple.

26. Study scriptures/gospel literature.

27. Make a gratitude list.

28. Write a love note to yourself.

29. Buy fresh flowers.

30. Read a good book.

31. Organize something.

32. Put your phone down.

33. Go out on a girls night.

34. Write a letter to a friend.

35. List the things you love about yourself.

Is self-care something that comes easy to you, or do you struggle like I do? Let's all make a goal to take some time this week to do something for ourselves. Tell me in the comments what you plan to do!

This Is a Problem

I'll start by saying that sharing this is really hard. I am so ashamed of what I'm about to show you, of what I'm about to say. But I feel like I need to do this, so I'm going to do it.

I have a bow addiction. Ha ha, yes, don't we all? No, seriously, this is a problem for me. Let me show you what bow addiction looks like:

Fancy Free Finery - 43 pieces

Collective Creations C - 15 pieces

Loved by Sophia Claire - 10 pieces

Poppy Mayflower - 20 pieces

Baby Bow Club - 34 pieces

Modern Piggy - 60 pieces

Wunderkin Co. - 20 pieces

The Modern Little - 16 pieces

Little Poppy Co. - 25 pieces

That's 243 bows. Wow, right? And that isn't even all of them. To be completely honest, there are already more on their way (some of which are winnings, but still), plus at least 20 more bows from other shops that I didn't even photograph.

I mean, it's a gorgeous collection, sure. But it's so much more than that. Some of the main things this collection represent are money we didn't have spent, secrecy, and lies. I've said so many times that I'd settle down or stop buying bows completely, but I keep doing it. Full disclosure, I actually bought another one while working on this post. Did that make you cringe? It made me. I told myself no, but then I saw that there was only one left, and suddenly there was this urgency. This is such a problem, I can see it, but I struggle to stop.

But let's back up a moment. This really starts with a story about a 14 year old girl who wanted to belong somewhere. A specific somewhere, to be honest. Junior high, as we all know, is a hard time. For me, it was when my elementary school friendships shifted, as my old friends found new friends and I didn't. Okay, that's not true. I did. But they weren't the "right" friends, they weren't the "popular" kids.

In junior high, we wore uniforms, navy or khaki bottoms and red, white, or navy tops. Even with that dress code, you could tell who the "rich" kids were. I wasn't one. I was in hand-me-down, ill-fitting clothes, and I didn't feel good about it. There was a part of me that just knew that if I only had better clothes, did my hair right, and looked the part, the "cool" kids would finally notice me, we'd start hanging out, and they would realize what an awesome person I was.

I was so sure this would happen that, even though I didn't have the clothes, I pushed away the people who did want to be my friends, because the "cool" kids would never notice me if I was seen with those losers. (Guys, I was a jerk. A soft-spoken, passive aggressive jerk.) I ended middle school with plenty of signatures in my yearbooks, but no real friends.

So, there I was, 14 years old, about to enter high school. My junior high fed into three high schools, two of the three got the most, but I was zoned for the third one. There were only a handful of kids from junior high that ended up at my high school, of that handful, I only knew a few. I was nervous, but I was also excited. This would be a new beginning for me. I just knew that I would get to that school and suddenly people would see me and know me and I would be in the popular group and have so many friends... It was going to be great, I could feel it.

Over the summer I earned some money from a few baby-sitting jobs. Pretty sure it was only, like, $50 - but at that time it felt like so much! I wanted to make a good impression, which I was sure meant having the right clothes and shoes, from name brands, like Roxy, American Eagle, Vans, and Etnies. I took myself to the mall one afternoon, feeling energized and confident as I walked into Roxy/Quicksilver, only the first in a list of stores I planned to visit, and began looking through the racks. But the more I looked the worse I began to feel. $50 was not going to go far in this store, but I had to buy from there! My future popularity depended on it! I would just have to pass on the other stores I'd planned to visit. I settled on a few items - like the shirt I'd wear on the first day as well as for my yearbook photo - took them to the cashier and said goodbye to my money. As I walked out of that store, I knew I'd made a mistake, but this idea that I was now assured popularity was louder, so I let it go.

I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this. I wore the shirt, and whatever else I bought, but they did not thrust me into popularity like I'd hoped. I ended up kind of floating through high school, I made some friends, but it was nothing like I'd expected. It was really disappointing. It wasn't long before I fell into a deep depression. I tried to run from my problems by transferring schools sophomore year, but in some ways that only made it worse.

I went back to my original school for my junior year, determined to have a different experience. A lot of my actions were still motivated by the desire to belong, which fueled my depression, but I was also trying to figure out who I was. I cut my hair super short, and then kept cutting it shorter and shorter, because it turned out that I loved it. I started to be more adventurous in the clothes that I wore, and it turned out that I had an unconventional and eclectic style, and it brought immense joy to honor that. By senior year, I felt more confident in my personal style, and in who I was. I still had those desires to be popular, and I still struggled with depression, but focusing less on what I didn't have and honoring my personal style helped immensely.

And then high school was over. Life happened, a lot of life - good, bad, ugly - I found someone who loved me at my lowest and helped bring me back from a dark place, and I married him. This is the part where the fairy tale ends with "and they lived happily ever after", but that isn't my story. I went from 19 and married to a new mom at 20. These were things that felt right and good, but just because something is right and good doesn't mean it's easy. There were times that I regretted the choice to get married young. I thought about all the things I was missing out on, like how I've always wanted to live in a studio apartment in a beautiful old brick building in some city. These were the MySpace days, which allowed me a peek at what my old high school classmates were up to. Thanks to the digital age, high school no longer ends at graduation! And I take the fault there, because I chose to look at what others were doing and compare my life to theirs. We all know how good getting stuck in the comparison trap feels, right?

Then people started leaving MySpace for Facebook. I resisted for a while, MySpace got a little quieter, and didn't bother me as much. Eventually I left MySpace and joined Facebook. At first I felt this need to add all the people, especially people from high school, you know, because I was genuinely concerned and interested in their lives! *wink* It got to a point where I realized I was spending way too much time on the computer, I knew I needed a break. I think I took a month to go almost completely offline, save for online banking and the occasional email check. It changed my relationship with Facebook in a way, I could see how unimportant a lot of it was, and I was able to clean out my friends list to those who I actually had relationships with. I've not been perfect in that, but my previous breaks from Facebook have helped me not feel such a need to spend hours scrolling.

I'm sure you're wondering, what does this have to do with the bows? Let's get to that.

I joined Instagram a little over 4 years ago. First it was just another way to keep up with people I knew and share photos I'd taken, since it turned out that I really enjoyed photography and wanted to share it with the world. I started to discover other accounts, there are so many amazing photographers on there. I also started to see some baby products popping up, but because my baby was a boy, there wasn't a huge pull to those, since they were mostly geared towards girls (specifically bows).

Then I had a baby girl, and suddenly the world exploded and there were a million bow shops, each with gorgeous product. We didn't have a lot of money, but eventually the pull became to great - curse you Black Friday deals! - and I began to buy. I tried to be realistic, but these shops are constantly coming out with new fabrics and styles, and I kept throwing money at them, and putting these bows on my baby, tagging the photos, and hoping that they would be re-posted. When my photos were featured, it only fueled the fire, and when we got our tax return, it got bad.

Finding a special package in the mail brought such a thrill, and they were coming with frequency. Bit by bit, our return was dwindling. Suddenly we were preparing for a move, and I tried so hard to resist buying more bows or bibs or whatever, but it was hard to resist as each new release, sale, or special was right there in my face, taunting me from my news feed.

Here's where the shame comes in. I couldn't stop. I kept buying, and in my shame, I tried, still try, to hide it from my husband. Finances were tight before we moved, and they've been tight since, as well, but I've continued buying. We budget and plan, and then we run out of money and I blame it on his spending, even though I know mine is just as bad or worse. Real talk, and guys, so much shame right here, but we don't even have the means to get me in to see a dentist - something I desperately need to do as my teeth are in poor shape (I'm trying so hard to share, but the shame is still keeping it vague, it's really bad, though) - and I'm still ordering bows.

The big question is: WHY? I've thought and thought about this, and every time the thought that I come to is: I buy the bows, tag the shops in my photos, they share them on their feeds, and suddenly I'm discovered, more and more people visit my profile and see how amazing I am, and then they follow, and the number grows and grows, finally I'm popular. Not to mention that shops start sending me products for free, so that I can post about it! This is the fantasy world I created in my mind. But it's far from reality. In reality, I have had photos shared, and I have even received some free and discounted products! But I've also spent hundreds of dollars - I'm scared to find out the actual dollar amount of all my purchases - but it hasn't gained me the mass popularity my fantasy world claimed it would.

Yes, I've got an impressive collection of headbands for my baby girl, and a few for her big sister, but other than being really beautiful, they really don't do much. They're just things, but I've placed this huge importance on them. I've fallen right back into the trap that I did as a young teen, only this time I'm pimping out my baby daughter in the hopes that I'll get attention...? Why? What is the purpose?

Guys, I don't even know. But I do know that something needs to change. I need to change. This thought process that I've gotten stuck in is a fantasy.

I've heard and read that shame thrives in secrecy, and this mentality is definitely something that I've held tight to my chest, as I've held to the belief that if people knew the real me, all my flaws, failings, and shortcomings, they wouldn't like me. But all I want is to feel like I belong, to be seen, to be accepted for who I am. But how can that happen when I'm not sure who that is, who I am? I feel like senior year-me was the closest to knowing, but I'm so far from there, and I don't know how to get back to that place. Not back to that age or time, but back to that mentality of honoring myself and caring less about what others might think of me.

There are so many words here, I don't even know how to end this, and if you've made it this far, I'm impressed. I guess, I felt the need to share this in the hope that, if there is anyone out there who is going through something similar, this helps you to see that you're not alone. Lastly, I think I'll share some words with you that I need to hear, and maybe you do, too:

You are enough. Take away all the things that you think you need to be accepted, you're still enough. You are important, regardless of how many or how few friends or followers you have. You are loved, even at your worst. Your worth is not determined by your visibility online, your worth is inherent, unchanged by location, social status, or anything else. You are amazing and capable of so much. Don't waste your energy flailing about trying to get people's attention and drowning instead. You have everything you need inside of you. Go outside, listen to the birds singing, look at the stars, close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and breathe... You are here, you are alive, you are a walking miracle. Feel it, believe it, know it. Everything is going to be okay.

a walk in the park

This is the goal.
via.

I was scrolling through my photo archives on my computer recently, and came across some pictures from a little walk we took in 2014. I wasn't blogging then, so they were never shared, but they looked so lovely... I decided I couldn't keep them to myself.

To be honest, my first thought as I looked through them, and again as I sorted them into collages, was to write a mope-y post about how hard life has been lately. How, since we don't have a car and can't really go anywhere right now, I would share these pictures from a time when we had more options. From when we had sidewalks and grass and parks within walking distance. The plan was to be all woe-is-me in a "vulnerable", "real-talk" post, that would really be a way of trying to fish for sympathy. I'm going to try really hard to not make this post be what I'd originally planned for it to be. (Because who wants to read a whiny post like that?)

Instead of writing up my rant right away, I let the pictures sit in draft for a few days, while I thought of how to compose that post. In that time I began to notice that I've had a really bad attitude lately. I mean, things really are hard right now. For example, we're about two months without a family-size vehicle, for the second summer in a row and there is literally nothing within walking distance (except for wilderness and dirt). To say the kids and I are going crazy from being cooped up and isolated, too far from everything and anything, bickering a bunch because we don't know what else to do, would be an understatement. That isn't all that is making life feel overwhelmingly difficult right now, but I don't want this to turn into a laundry list of everything that's hard right now and woe is me, so lets move on.

Basically, I noticed that I've been focusing heavily on the negative. Like, it's been hard to get myself to see anything but the stuff that sucks. I tell myself to be positive, that there's always something to be happy about, even amidst a sea of less-than-stellar happenings. I know that I could improve my mood, and subsequently the general mood of the house, if I would open my eyes to the positive. Life wouldn't feel so hard if I would just see, and acknowledge, the good. Because there is a lot of good, there is always good, even during struggle and hardship.

I feel like I'm pretty good at putting on a brave face, when I finally get a chance to be out of the house. I've been able to use Mr. Boss's truck after he gets home if I need to and, thanks to the kindness of neighbors from the ward, we've been able to get to church pretty regularly. (Good things, right there!) Every week people ask how I'm doing, and I acknowledge that things are rough, but I put on a smile and talk about how I 'know things will all work out eventually', that I just 'need to be patient'. I feel like, when I talk to anyone, I'm able to do so in a way that shares our struggles without being a Debbie-downer. But I feel like a fake, like I'm putting up a positive front. I think I do it because we have been recipients of so much service, and I don't want to seem ungrateful (because I am so indescribably grateful!), or burdensome. But I get home and feel again the crushing weight of our hard and imperfect life. In the privacy and solitude of my home it's too easy to get bogged down by the feelings of isolation, the feelings of being trapped. When I'm home I feel like I'm drowning in the hard things and I forget how to be positive.

The perfect climbing tree.

I went on a walk Tuesday morning, before most everyone was awake. Last summer I was going on regular morning walks, but being pregnant and easily worn out, it seemed like too much effort to do now, seemed too hard. I made excuses. (I'm really good at those.) But, after waking up super early, I decided to just go for it. As I walked I thought, and I looked around at the beauty of nature in the rural area that is currently our home. I thought about all the things I used to love seeing when I'd go on my walks last year. I considered how we really do live in a beautiful place.

It's easy, when I see the same things day in and day out, to become bored. Easy to think my surroundings have become stale and have nothing to offer. It's easy for me to see what we don't have (like grass, sidewalks, nearby playgrounds, a car, etc.), and it's easy to overlook what we do have (lots of nature to explore, neighbors with farm animals that we can visit, a superb view of the stars at night...). If I go just beyond what I can see from our front porch, I find treasures, little details that delight my eyes, things that make living here a bit more worthwhile.

I'll probably struggle with my negative thoughts, to some degree, the whole time we live here. I like to think having a car will help, as well as having the kids back in school, but it's highly likely that, when I have those things, I'll find something else to complain about. I like to think I'm a positive person but, when I really analyze my thoughts, I find a lot of negativity.

Some days are better than others, some days I really am able to be optimistic. Outwardly, I think I'm pretty good at portraying a glass-half-full perspective. But most days it feels like it's one thing after another, to the point where I desperately want to escape. Even when we had a car, I would let myself become discouraged by feeling stuck, trapped, alone. I did the same in Denver, even though I had so much available to me there.

I'm trying to remember to look at the bright side, to notice and appreciate the awesome things about where we are right now. I'm trying to be patient with myself as I work on having a better attitude. I'm trying to not feel so discouraged by what we seem to lack (or by the daily fighting that's been happening). I'm trying to acknowledge and be grateful for what we do have. I'm trying to remember all the people who have helped us out, who made living here a little bit easier, a little bit better. It's a work in progress, and it's something I really want to become better at.

Doesn't that look glorious?

My tiny baby, N!

Stunning park roses.

What do you do to stay positive when things are hard?

daily paintings // 1

Thanks to the inspiration of a few artists I'm following on instagram, I've set a goal to do a daily painting in my sketchbook (well, right now, just a lined notebook but, once I fill it, I'm planning to upgrade to a sturdy sketchbook). I thought it would be fun to have a weekly series where I share the paintings I've been working on through the week, and this is the first bunch. I actually started a couple of days before the new year, because I was just really eager to get started. So here is December 30 - January 3:

December 30 - you are my sunshine

December 31 - you are so loved

January 1 - welcome 2016

January 2 - a couple of words I want to focus on, in my art, in my parenting, in my relationships, and in my spiritual journey this year

January 3 - my hometown/the 3 places I've lived

mama bird

A few years ago I saw a tutorial somewhere online for these bird nest necklaces. As soon as I saw it, I wanted to make my own. They're so simple and beautiful, and really pretty easy to make.

It was a while before I finally did pick up the needed supplies at Michaels, but since then I've made so many, I'm not even sure of the number anymore. 

When we were preparing to move from Colorado to Arizona, I took a bunch of orders to help my family with the cost of our move. It felt really great to not only be able to make something, but to have people interested in owning what I made, and that I was able to help my family in the process.

I've had so many people suggest that I open a shop, or set up a website for my necklaces, but doing so hasn't felt right for me at this time, though it is something I think about often and may do in the future. But, even without a shop, I'm always open to taking orders, and actually just completed an order a little over a week ago.

I think one of my favorite things about making these necklaces for others has been the stories that have been shared with me, specifically the stories of women who have experienced loss and received comfort in having a way to honor their sweet angel(s), and the stories of the comfort and hope the necklaces have given to women experiencing the pains of infertility. It's been incredible to make something that can hold so much meaning for another, and I feel honored to have been able to provide this service for so many. ♡

If you're interested in ordering a necklace, please, shoot me an email and we'll talk!

perfectionist

In junior high I would change my handwriting practically every month. Even now, I can change what my handwriting looks like, depending on my mood or the reason I am writing. So it seems natural that I've been really into lettering lately.

Lettering in pencil and pen is easy to me, but after watching a bunch of people on instagram, I wanted to try my hand at brush lettering. Um, it's not as easy as it looks. Between yesterday and today, I went through a ridiculous amount of paper, because there was "something wrong" with each attempt.
Being a perfectionist and my own worst critic is frustrating.

begin

There is something really wonderful about the feeling of paint on your fingers, of working yarn over needless, the feeling of a pencil/pen/brush in your hand... Something so satisfying about watching paint spread over paper or canvas, and something about the feeling of a heavy camera in hand, about the sound of the shutter. Are there words that can adequately describe the pain of working with wire, followed by the joy of holding the finished project in your hand?

Art by me, quote from this talk. 

To create is messy, overwhelming, peaceful, chaotic, vulnerable, personal, amazing, satisfying. Since I was a child, I have enjoyed drawing and writing. In high school I developed a love of painting and learned to knit. Somewhere in there I began using a camera to try and capture the incredible beauty I saw in the world.

When I became a mother, I pushed my creative interests aside. Being a mother became my main focus, which wasn't a bad thing. I love being a mother, love cuddling with my babies. But my first love was art, creating, my hands covered in paint as I created a beautiful mess. I lost myself in motherhood and found myself nursing an extreme case of mommy-burnout. Something needed to change.

I've tried at times to reintroduce myself to creating, but nothing seemed to stick. With such a variety of skills and interests, I'd become discouraged by my unfinished projects, feeling I lacked focus. I'm trying to break myself of that thinking. I want to embrace the process, the creative times and the restful times. But I'm going to keep trying, and I want to use this blog not only to hold on to memories of my babies as they grow, and the fun things we do, but also to capture my creative journey. To embrace the messy, the imperfect, the unfinished. I want to be able to encourage myself by recording my finished projects, by tracking growth. It is time to begin.

a million things.

For starters, we moved to Arizona. Over two months ago! Surprise!

But! Before we left Colorado, we had a bunch of last hoorah-type adventures. I'm hoping to tell you about them sometime. 

And then! We've had a pretty wild time since we've been in AZ, so there's that stuff to talk about. 

Also! That cutie pie cuddling up to me will be one next month! And I've hardly even talked about him on here. What?!

Most of all? Hi! I'm still here, just about drowning under my million things, but I thought it was about time I popped in for a quick hello.

Okay, bye.

snack free september

After a discussion about wanting to lose some weight, and needing to eat better, Mr. Boss suggested we initiate a “snack-free September”. He said we could be each others support, reach out to the other when we struggled under the temptations of goodies (ranging from fast food and soda to copious amounts of chocolate).

I'm not exactly one to agree with restricting treats from my diet in the name of weight-loss or health-seeking, but when he said we could take a break for Cupcake's second birthday, I reluctantly accepted his challenge.

We then proceeded to use the final days of August to eliminate the treats in our home. By consuming them, of course. No wasting in this house!

The month started off rocky. September first found us road-tripping from Salt Lake back to Denver, and that means road-trip food. We were much more restrictive than usual, but when you pull into town after 13-plus hours on the road, cooking is the last thing on your mind. So we picked up some good ol' KFC, fried chicken, mash taters, macaroni, and a large side of cheese curds. Yes, please.

Mr. Boss had a meeting on day three, in which there was a bowl full of treats staring at him for an hour. When he returned he informed me that, out of habit, his hand plunged into the bowl before his bum had made contact with a chair, but he remembered in time, and resisted. And, although his mouth watered at the sight of his companions Mountain Dew, he stayed strong.

On day four, a friend met him for lunch. He chose, what he feels, was the healthiest fast food option: Jimmy Johns. Nothing fried, fresh veggies, not a bad choice.

Needless to say, Mr. Boss is doing quite well with this challenge.

Meanwhile, I sneak out to the car periodically through the day. Hidden under the passenger seat is a box of contraband goodies.

Other times, I slip into the kitchen, open a canister of hot cocoa mix, and enjoy some of the sweet, chocolatey powder. (Weird? Probably. Do I care? Not really.)

happy day.

I figure that most of you who read my blog already know about this, but... This is my announcement: After years of having people (sisters, Mr. Boss, the occasional stranger, etc...) suggest to me/tell me that I should sell some of my photographs, I have finally decided to dive in and do it. I found a website where I could sell my photos and signed up. They do the printing and I get paid.

bunch of yellow

I have loved taking pictures for so long. I used to have a collection of disposable cameras that I would fill with pictures of sunsets, trees, and flowers, as well as pictures of friends and family. When I got my first digital camera my photographer heart exploded, now I could take more pictures than ever before. And I did. To the point of driving dear Mr. Boss a bit crazy.

I can't help but cringe a bit when I see some of my earlier images. I thought I was pretty darn good when I started, but my more recent work reveals otherwise. As I've grown more comfortable with my camera, my work has improved. Desiring better images from myself (as well as not wanting to subject my babies to the blinding flash anymore) I decided to try shooting in manual. Through trial and error I taught myself to shoot in manual and hardly ever use the flash anymore. I've learned so much about shooting in manual on my own camera that, when I had an opportunity to use my dad's fancy dslr, I was able to do so on his camera.

decorating the morning

For the most part, I can't believe I am actually trying this. I am my own worst critic, and I frequently think to myself that I have no business trying to sell my work. There are so many amazing photographers out there who's work blows mine right out of the water. How could I even think to compare to that?

Those have been hard thoughts to break free from. They still have a tight hold on me. But, in a moment of daring, I took the courageous step to put my work out there. I might have a hard time believing that I did it, but it's done, and I'm not going to back out now.

Instead I'm trying to get my name out there, throwing me further and further from my comfort zone, as I try to promote myself and my work. Which is why I'm writing about it here.

gentle rose

To get my name and work out, I have not only signed up on Fine Art America, the site I'm selling my photos from, but have also started a blog and a facebook page. I even joined twitter.

(This is the part where I ask you, please-oh-please, go like my facebook page and share it with your friends and family. And if you're on twitter, do me a solid and follow me?)

morning glory

Last of all, at the top of my blog is a list of my pages. Right at the very end you'll see there is one titled "happy day." Originally, clicking that link would take you right to my photo blog, but I've since updated it. Now, you can click on that link and it will take you to a page right here on this blog. Contained on that page are links to: my photo blog, my facebook page, my twitter, and my Fine Art America profile where you can browse what I have available and purchase my work.

morning light

Lastly, and quickly, I'd like to mention the name "happy day." A few years ago I started a second blog to do a photo-a-day project. As I was considering what I would call that blog, 18-month-old C was running around our apartment mumbling some excited jibberish that sounded very much like "happyday-happyday-happyday-happyday!" This is something that he would say quite often, and as I thought about it I decided I would call my photo blog "Happy Day Images". Since then, "Happy Day Images" has been the name I have associated with my photographs, so it was only natural to continue using it as I began this adventure in trying to sell my photos.

//end self-promotion//