begin

There is something really wonderful about the feeling of paint on your fingers, of working yarn over needless, the feeling of a pencil/pen/brush in your hand... Something so satisfying about watching paint spread over paper or canvas, and something about the feeling of a heavy camera in hand, about the sound of the shutter. Are there words that can adequately describe the pain of working with wire, followed by the joy of holding the finished project in your hand?

Art by me, quote from this talk. 

To create is messy, overwhelming, peaceful, chaotic, vulnerable, personal, amazing, satisfying. Since I was a child, I have enjoyed drawing and writing. In high school I developed a love of painting and learned to knit. Somewhere in there I began using a camera to try and capture the incredible beauty I saw in the world.

When I became a mother, I pushed my creative interests aside. Being a mother became my main focus, which wasn't a bad thing. I love being a mother, love cuddling with my babies. But my first love was art, creating, my hands covered in paint as I created a beautiful mess. I lost myself in motherhood and found myself nursing an extreme case of mommy-burnout. Something needed to change.

I've tried at times to reintroduce myself to creating, but nothing seemed to stick. With such a variety of skills and interests, I'd become discouraged by my unfinished projects, feeling I lacked focus. I'm trying to break myself of that thinking. I want to embrace the process, the creative times and the restful times. But I'm going to keep trying, and I want to use this blog not only to hold on to memories of my babies as they grow, and the fun things we do, but also to capture my creative journey. To embrace the messy, the imperfect, the unfinished. I want to be able to encourage myself by recording my finished projects, by tracking growth. It is time to begin.