journal 3

We moved! After 6 years away we can call Utah (specifically Salt Lake County) home again. What a wild ride.

I was thinking about some other bloggers who've recently moved or are planning to in the near future, and started wondering what made them decide to do it? Of course, it's none of my business, I just get curious. I don't know why other families move to different places or why they end up living in the same city or house forever. But! I do have the inside scoop on my family and our various moves over the last decade.

(Dood, I've had my own little family for over a decade! Weird!)

Honestly, leaving Flagstaff to come back to Salt Lake was HARD. Not that life in Flag was a cake walk, because it wasn't, let me tell you. Flagstaff is a really hard place to live, it's expensive, it's full of things that make my allergies feel like I'm dying, it's isolated - so isolated. Also, our house was basically made of popsicle sticks and falling apart, Mr. Boss's job wasn't a good long-term choice for us financially, not to mention all the rotten car luck we had and blah-blah-blah... Plus, the nearest Costco was 2 hours away. (#priorities)

BUT! There was also so much good! First off, the people there are freaking ah-mazing. The community there, seriously. (💕) Some of the best, most selfless people I've ever met live in Flag. There is so much I could say about all of the wonderful people who live there, but it would make this already long post even longer. And I'd probably start to cry, so.

Other good things about Flag: it was completely gorgeous (esp. when it wasn't trying to kill me... #allergiessuck). We were surrounded by nature, and our view of the stars at night was unreal. I mean, I'd never seen the little dipper until we lived there, I'd never been able to spot it before, not even when I'd gone camping. Plus, I could watch meteor showers and get pictures of them without having to step one foot out my door. And, even though it wasn't really a great long-term fit, Mr. Boss really, really loved his job. And he loved that elk would walk through and poop right in our back "yard". Not because they were pooping, but because they were so close. And then there was that time we saw a coyote grab a prairie dog right from its burrow, Wild America style.

To be honest, I spent a lot of our time there complaining. I did try to appreciate it, but in the moment it wasn't really an easy thing to do. I'm ashamed to say I spent most of our time there wishing and praying to leave. Not that I wanted to leave all the great things behind, I only wanted to get away from the sucky parts. It was so conflicting, I wanted to get away and stay there forever.

Pit stop in Hatch, Utah.

So, yes. I prayed, a lot, that we could leave. But it didn't happen, didn't happen, didn't happen, and then it did. Suddenly I found myself feeling like "WAIT, I'm not done yet!" But it was too late. Then more conflicting feelings, because, GUYS, I was stoked! But also devastated. I kept asking, "can't I just pack my people into these boxes and take them with?? PLEAAASE??" I wanted to leave but also didn't.

I've dreamed of coming back to Salt Lake a lot over the past 6 years, but I've also been kind of afraid of it. Living outside of Utah was hard, different, weird, amazing, eye-opening, enlightening, life changing, incredible... What if I'm too different to live in Utah again, what if living away changed me too much and I don't fit anymore? Maybe it's silly to think that way, but there ya go.

I am mad at myself that it took us moving for me to realize how much I'd taken the amazing experience of living in Flagstaff for granted. It makes me want to go back and smack myself and tell myself to enjoy the heck out of our time there because it would be so short. But my time machine is broken. I guess all I can do going forward is try my hardest to make the most of our new home, neighborhood, ward, and state. (I mean, I grew up around here, so it's not really new to me but, hopefully, you catch my drift, and by you I mean me. You listening, Cris?!) 

So, here we go. Goodbye, Flagstaff. Thank you for the beauty, for the amazing people, for the memories we will treasure forever. (Just not the memories of how bad my allergies got. 😉)

And hello, again, Salt Lake, with your majestic mountains full of history and memories. It's good to be back.

a picnic in December

On a Sunday in mid-December, we went on a family drive and discovered an area not far into the mountains that was littered with boulders. As soon as I saw it, I began imagining taking an outing with the children on a warmer day. I could see them excitedly running around, climbing on rocks, exploring and adventuring. It looked like it would be such an incredible place to spend a day, and I felt so let down that we found it so late in the year. What fun we could have had there in the summer!

It just so happened, though, that later that week we were supposed to reach 50 degree temps. Mr. Boss would be at work, and the older children at school, but I figured I could at least take the little ones on an adventure. I mean, December isn't really known for it's warmer days, I couldn't let this opportunity pass by, knew I'd regret if I didn't go.

I've found that the weather has a nasty habit of changing from what was previously forecast, but not this time. That day was sunny and warm, a perfect day for a picnic in the mountains. We got dressed, wore only light jackets (with some warmer things brought along, just in case), and packed up lunch before venturing to the boulder covered forest.

The sun was shining and filtering through the tall pines and a light breeze whistled through the needles, but our jackets did enough to keep us warm. This place was so incredible and magical. I stood in awe for a moment before finding a shady spot between two huge boulders to lay our blanket. We had a bit to eat, and then we explored. The boys were in heaven, scaling these huge rocks and running around the forest.

The whole time I kept thinking how much more fun it would've been if Mr. Boss and the older kids had been there, too. It is definitely a place to revisit when the weather warms up again.

39 & 40 weeks

Another 2-in-1, since I didn't get it done last week. I just want to talk for a moment about where we took these photos. (I mean, look at that beautiful red rock! *scroll down*)

We were on a Sunday drive, on 89-A through Oak Creek Canyon between Flagstaff and Sedona (it's a seriously gorgeous drive). We kept looking for somewhere to pull over, and were getting a lot further than we'd planned, but finally I spotted it. Encinoso Picnic Site. The green, the red rocks, it was so beautiful.

It kind of became a goal as I got into taking these weekly photos to also show some of the natural beauty of where we've been living. Because usually, when people think about Arizona, they think of extreme heat, huge cactus, scorpion-filled desert. But there is so much more to this state. Maybe I haven't done the best job at showing it, but I hope I've shared  bit more of what this state has to offer.

So, the due date has come and gone. S was 4 days early, C was born on his due date, N was born in the early morning of the second day past his date. Z was 10 days late, and E was 16 days past her date. Who knows how long this little lady will wait. My hope was to make it, at the very least, to the official first day of autumn. We're so close!

I'm still feeling pretty good, for the most part. Except, we took the kids to get shoes recently, and I was squatting to feel where their toes were in the shoes they tried. I've been sore ever since. It started out as the upper thigh, then moved to the inner thighs and hips.

I'm still sleeping well, haven't been waking up as early as I had been - which is bitter-sweet. I loved my quiet mornings, but I'm also loving the sleep. It's just rough when is time to get up, because my soreness makes me so stiff first thing in the morning. I zombie-stumble from bed to the bathroom and through the first part of my morning. It's uncomfortable, but also kind of hilarious. I'm sure I look ridiculous. Ha ha.

I finally got around to pulling out and washing some baby laundry, so little lady won't be naked. I just packed my bag to take to the birth center last night. It had been a work in progress for most of the last week, but it wasn't until last night that I managed to finish it. 

I still feel like there's more I need to get done, so I find myself hoping for some last-minute panic/burst of nesting energy to help me get the last little things done. At the same time, I'm feeling like we're as ready as we'll ever be. All the big stuff is done. The house is mostly tidy  (that's a mix of tidy and lived-in), I've installed the car seat, my bag is packed. I think the biggest thing left to do is a shopping trip to fill our fridge and cupboards, and I'm planning to do that today, after my midwife visit. 

It kind of feels surprising, to realize were basically ready for this little lady's arrival. It felt so daunting to prepare, and it always felt so far away. But here we are, at the point where she could come literally any day. It's surreal. And the truth is, despite all my attempts to work through my fears, I'm feeling terrified. I guess I've still got some work to do, after all. 

morning treasures

There's a bossling birthday today, but before I get to that, I had to share this. 

Mr. Boss had just walked out the door with our babes to head down to the bus stop. I was trying to work up the energy to get started on birthday pancakes when I heard him calling for me. I hurried out to the porch to see what was up, and he pointed out a spider that, from my perspective, looked as though it was floating between a tree and the antenna on his truck. He told me it was a better view from the other side of his truck, so I grabbed my camera, slipped on my flip flops, and went for a closer inspection. From the different angle, I could see sunlight catching the web. It was stunning. After a few shots, I ran inside for a squirt bottle to wet the web and maybe help it show up on camera a little better. A few squirts too many frightened the spider away, so I stopped, but gosh! It was gorgeous. 

grati-tuesday // 1

Weekends aren't usually my favorite. Mr. Boss works most Saturdays, so normally we don't do much. Plus, even after almost a month into the new school year, I'm not  feeling recovered from summer break, so weekends are mostly hard. This weekend, though? It was pretty spectacular. It was very full and busy and so fun.

I want to tell you about our fun weekend, and I want to do that by sharing what I'm grateful for. Actually, I want to  start a new, regular gratitude feature, where I share the things I've been feeling thankful for recently. This idea was inspired by the {gratitude lately} feature on Today's Letters, and kind of goes along with last week's post, as I try to incorporate expressing gratitude in my life a bit more.

I'm so grateful for a sweet friend from church who threw me a baby shower on Saturday. And that my mother in law sneakily surprised me by coming up for it. (Also grateful to her for watching our kiddos Friday night so we could go out for our 10th anniversary. We were only a week late.) ♡

Grateful for temples, that we were able to stop and admire the (tiny) Snowflake, AZ temple on our way to visit my cousin and his family on Sunday. I'm grateful for the time we were able to spend with my cousin. Our kids had so much fun together. ♡

I'm grateful for the time we got to spend as a family on Monday, thanks to the holiday. Mr. Boss wasn't feeling very well, but the fresh air did us all some good. ♡

I'm grateful for the sweet vendor we met at Art in the Park who, after we had moved on, ran over with a little gift for our family. A handmade, wooden "peanut butter" knife. ♡

I'm grateful for the beauty that can be found everywhere, if you just look. (Like the shadows cast on the side of our van as we were loading up to leave the playground). I'm also forever grateful for our van, that made all our adventures this weekend a possibility. ♡

What have you been thankful for lately? 

real life talk & pretty pictures

August 1st was a frustrating day. We were so close to the first day of school, but still far enough out that I was just feeling the general stress of summer break. As we approached the witching hour, I felt I was at my wits end. So, I did the only thing I could think of to regain my sanity. I piled everyone in the van to go on a photo safari. That way they bosslings would all be stuck in one place, limiting the amount of trouble they could get into, and I could enjoy the stress relief that comes when I pull out my camera and capture tiny, pretty things.

It had been rainy in town that day, so everything looked fresh and rejuvenated. Also, there are mosquitos in town and, after living here for about 15 months, I got my first bites that day. But it was still worth it. 

Around 6 we drove over to Mr. Boss, who was getting off work, and I traded cars with him. He took our circus home, took care of dinner and bed, and I got to drive around some more and enjoy peace and quiet and pretty things. 

Sometimes, as a mom, you just need an hour or two all to yourself. I didn't know that when I first became a mom, but I have learned quite well in the past couple of years that I really do need opportunities to be by myself, away from the kids and the responsibilities and the chaos. A couple of hours, every now and then, when I can just be me. 

Early signs of fall -- always makes me giddy.
(I ♡♡♡ autumn.)

The prettiest mailbox. 

I'm not sure what it is about
sunflowers and pine trees,
but it's pretty much my favorite. 

What have you done to take care of yourself lately?