I might be a little obsessed...

...okay, a lot obsessed.

We started experiencing some behavioral issues here in the Boss home, right after baby S joined our little family. I don't think I realized -- or didn't remember from previous additions -- just how difficult it is to provide each child with the positive attention that they need everyday when there is a new baby in the house.

It has been so frustrating, as the older children act out, because I knew exactly what would help. But it is hard to want to give positive attention when behavior is less than ideal.

But I think I made a break-through tonight. Oh, it was so simple! We had just sent the children to bed, and they were arguing over something. I walked right in and sat down on C's bed, looking right at him. He began telling me about what was going on, but I stopped him. I looked him in the eye, I really looked at him, and then I said to him: "I love you!" Immediately I saw him light up a little, the tension began to fall away. I smiled at him, and I told him again. I wish I could bottle that moment. Joy radiated from his face as we sat in front of one another on his bed. We finished with a great big hug, and then I tucked him in.

Next was Miss E. I sat down in front of her, looked her in the eye, and told her just how much I love her. I wished her a good-night and happy dreams, just like with her older brother. Again, I saw as tension fell from my child. Her face lit up, and her eyes sparkled. As I hugged her, she squeezed me so tightly. Afterward, she lay peacefully on her pillow and let me tuck her in.

Finally I went to Z, and he hugged me right off the bat, and laid his wild blonde head down. There was no more fighting, there was not a single sound from their room, they each quickly and quietly drifted off to sleep.

It was such a simple act, but had such a big impact. It is something that I've known that they each needed, I just don't know why it took me so long to figure out how to do it. But isn't that how it always goes? The simplest answers yield spectacular results.

"Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise."
Alma 37:6

photo challenge day 3:

my favorite Christmas video

How can I make Cristmas more
Joyful.......
Enjoyable..
Spiritual....
Uncluttered
Significant.
?

hope.

see the full talk here

from the archives: 5.8.11

mothers do not have to be perfect

(quotes and a few of my own words from a talk I gave on Mother's day last year.)

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children.
...What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."

M. Russell Ballard

"The true spirit of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives to woman the highest place of honor in human life. ...It is she...who wields gradually and constantly the impress of character to childhood and youth, ...who makes home a haven of bliss or a den of discontent, who at her best gives to life its sweetest hopes and choicest blessings."

The First Presidency

"If you have determined to live righteously" -- or, might I add, to mother perfectly, -- "don't become discouraged. Life may seem difficult now, but hold on tightly to that iron rod of truth. You are making better progress than you realize."

Richard G. Scott

"If you are helpless, He is not. If you are lost, He is not. If you don't know what to do next, he knows. It would take a miracle, you say? Well, if it takes a miracle, why not?"

Boyd K. Packer (more here.)

"Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. ...There is great power in a prayer that essentially says 'We are the steward parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as thou wouldst.'"

M. Russell Ballard

"We all seem to measure ourselves by what we see in others, and that's others at their best, scrubbed and polished physically and emotionally. Yet we judge ourselves at our worst. Consequently, we're sure to come out on the short end of the stick, always inadequate."

Claudia T. Goates

We have not been left alone in our mothering efforts. Our lives are less than perfect, God knows that we are less than perfect. That is why he has provided us a way to receive His guidance and counsels. We have our Savior's example, words from prophets and inspired leaders from past and present, and personal revelation. Through these we can come to know of our Father's will for us and for the children with whom we've been entrusted.
If we follow the guidance and counsel that we receive, we will be blessed and our efforts will be rewarded.

"If you have done your best, which you usually do, your humble offering, whatever it may be, will be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord."

James E. Faust

Happy Mother's Day!
more Mother's Day goodness here

fear not

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
How Firm a Foundation
hymn no. 85, v. 3

We live in a vicious world, a scary time. But if we put our faith and trust in God, he will protect us, He will guide us, and He will strengthen us. Through Him there is nothing to fear.

Don't give up.

It's been a while since I shared a Sunday though, but I want to share one today. Sure, I'm a day late, but this is a powerful message that I think can apply to anyone.
(If you're currently struggling with something, and even if you're not, you just might want to have a tissue or two handy...)

"Every one of us has times when we need to know things will get better. ...For emotional health and spiritual stamina, everyone needs to be able to look forward to some respite, to something pleasant and renewing and hopeful, whether that blessing be near at hand or still some distance ahead. It is enough just to know we can get there, that however measured or far away, there is the promise of 'good things to come.'”

"Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed."

“Don’t give up... Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead... You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come."

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “An High Priest of Good Things to Come”

he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows

The plan of salvation could not be brought about without an atonement. “Therefore God himself atoneth for the sins of the world, to bring about the plan of mercy, to appease the demands of justice, that God might be a perfect, just God, and a merciful God also.”

The atoning sacrifice had to be carried out by the sinless Son of God, for fallen man could not atone for his own sins. The Atonement had to be infinite and eternal―to cover all men throughout all eternity.

Through His suffering and death, the Savior atoned for the sins of all men. His Atonement began in Gethsemane and continued on the cross and culminated with the Resurrection.

“Yea, … he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father.”

Through His Atonement, He heals not only the transgressor, but He also heals the innocent who suffer because of those transgressions. As the innocent exercise faith in the Savior and in His Atonement and forgive the transgressor, they too can be healed.

There are times when each of us needs “relief from feelings of guilt that come from mistakes and sins.” 14 As we repent, the Savior removes the guilt from our souls.

Through His atoning sacrifice, our sins are remitted. With the exception of sons of perdition, the Atonement is available to everyone all the time, no matter how large or small the sin, “on conditions of repentance.”

C. Scott Grow

Read the full article here.


All images are old and from the photo blog I used to keep.

two scriptures that stuck out to me recently...

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
2 Cor. 4:17-18

...know thou, my [child], that these things shall give three experience, and shall be for thy good.
The Son of Man hath descended below them all all. Art thou greater than He?
...fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.
D&C 122:7-9

We can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us.

At times it may seem that our trials are focused on areas of our lives and parts of our souls with which we seem least able to cope. Since personal growth is an intended outcome of these challenges, it should come as no surprise that the trials can be very personal—almost laser guided to our particular needs or weaknesses.

A pattern in the scriptures and in life shows that many times the darkest, most dangerous tests immediately precede remarkable events and tremendous growth. “After much tribulation come the blessings.”

In the midst of problems, it is nearly impossible to see that the coming blessings far outweigh the pain, humiliation, or heartbreak we may be experiencing at the time. “No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

Not one of the trials and tribulations we face is beyond our limits, because we have access to help from the Lord. We can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” (Romans 8:35, 37)

Paul V. Johnson

mothers do not have to be perfect

(quotes from my talk today, as well as a few of my own words.)

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children.
...What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."

M. Russell Ballard

"The true spirit of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives to woman the highest place of honor in human life. ...It is she...who wields gradually and constantly the impress of character to childhood and youth, ...who makes home a haven of bliss or a den of discontent, who at her best gives to life its sweetest hopes and choicest blessings."

The First Presidency

"If you have determined to live righteously" -- or, might I add, to mother perfectly, -- "don't become discouraged. Life may seem difficult now, but hold on tightly to that iron rod of truth. You are making better progress than you realize."

Richard G. Scott

"If you are helpless, He is not. If you are lost, He is not. If you don't know what to do next, he knows. It would take a miracle, you say? Well, if it takes a miracle, why not?"

Boyd K. Packer (more here.)

"Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. ...There is great power in a prayer that essentially says 'We are the steward parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as thou wouldst.'"

M. Russell Ballard

"We all seem to measure ourselves by what we see in others, and that's others at their best, scrubbed and polished physically and emotionally. Yet we judge ourselves at our worst. Consequently, we're sure to come out on the short end of the stick, always inadequate."

Claudia T. Goates

We have not been left alone in our mothering efforts. Our lives are less than perfect, God knows that we are less than perfect. That is why he has provided us a way to receive His guidance and counsels. We have our Savior's example, words from prophets and inspired leaders from past and present, and personal revelation. Through these we can come to know of our Father's will for us and for the children with whom we've been entrusted.
If we follow the guidance and counsel that we receive, we will be blessed and our efforts will be rewarded.

"If you have done your best, which you usually do, your humble offering, whatever it may be, will be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord."

James E. Faust

Happy Mother's Day!

women's role

You were not created to be the same as men. Your natural attributes, affections, and personalities are entirely different from those of a man. They consist of faithfulness, benevolence, kindness, and charity. They also balance the more aggressive and competitive nature of man.
The business world is competitive and sometimes ruthless. We do not doubt that women have both the brainpower and the skills to compete with men. But by competing they must, of necessity, become aggressive and competitive. Thus their godly attributes are diminished and they acquire a quality of sameness with man.
The conventional wisdom of the day would have you be equal with men. We say, we would not have you descend to that level.

Ezra Taft Benson, Woman, Deseret Book, 1979, p.71
I found this quote in a old seminary notebook, and thought it was a good one to share. Hope you like it.
Click here for more on the specialness of women.

He is risen

I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me,
though he were dead, yet shall he live:
And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.
John 11:25-26
Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them.
And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre.
And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus.
And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments:
And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead?
He is not here, but is risen...
And returned from the sepulchre, and told all these things unto the eleven, and to all the rest.
Luke 24:1-6, 9
Peter therefore went forth, and that other disciple, and came to the sepulchre.
So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre.
And he stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in.
Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie,
And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself.
...Then the disciples went away again unto their own home.
But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre,
And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.
And they said unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.
And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.
Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou has laid him, and I will take him away.
Jesus saith unto her, Mary, she turned herself, and saith unto him, ...Master.
Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father, but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.
John 20:3-7, 10-17

And if Christ had not risen from the dead,
or have broken the bands of death that the grave should have no victory,
and that death should have no sting, there could have been no resurrection.
But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory,
and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.
He is the light and the life of the world;
yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened;
yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death.
Mosiah 16:7-9

Happy Easter!!

you are a precious pearl

I almost didn't go to church today. Poor E has been miserably sick, and Mr. Boss discovered a large, yucky mess, about 5 minutes before I should have been walking out the door. He insisted I stay home and help him. I almost did. I felt so bad about the whole thing. But, in the end, I'm glad I went to church, because...
Today we got a new Bishop. It was a surprise, a bitter-sweet surprise. And it all occurred in an incredibly powerful meeting. I was grateful to be present and to listen as my new Bishop addressed us in the congregation for the first time in his new calling. As he finished up his remarks, he shared a scripture followed by an interesting thought, which I would like to share with you, my friend.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:
Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.

Matthew 13:44-46
Now, think of it like this: Imagine that you are the treasure hid in a field, you are the one pearl of great price. Now imagine that the man is the Savior, who desired you, so much, that he gave all he had, even his life. He did so, because you are that precious to Him.
Whether or not that is the scripture's intended meaning, I know that it is true. I know that the Savior loves and cares for each and every person, individually, and because of that love he suffered in Gethsemane and on the cross, paying the ultimate price, simply because you are worth it. I am worth it.

Sunday thought on a Monday night

"Our women are not incredible because they have managed to avoid the difficulties of life—quite the opposite. They are incredible because of the way they face the trials of life. Despite the challenges and tests life has to offer—from marriage or lack of marriage, children’s choices, poor health, lack of opportunities, and many other problems—they remain remarkably strong and immovable and true to the faith. Our sisters throughout the Church consistently 'succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.'”

Quentin L. Cook LDS Women Are Incredible!

uplifted.

Conference was incredible. I feel inspired. I feel uplifted. My heart is full.
I tried to take notes, but I don't write fast enough, so the notes are incomplete, otherwise I would share something.
Instead I would like to touch on the music. I felt as though I was listening to angelic choruses. The words of the speakers were inspired and the music touched my soul.
How Firm A Foundation was one of the hymns during the Saturday Afternoon session. Mr. Boss has a hymnbook, so I read along with the words as the hymn was sung. I love the 3rd verse and, even thou they were not sung, the 4th and 5th were the verses my eyes were drawn to. I would like to share those three verses today.

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

How Firm A Foundation hymns #85

April 2011 General Conference Sessions

"We want to be ladies in very deed, not according to the term of the word as the world judges, but fit companions of the Gods and Holy Ones. In an organized capacity we can assist each other in not only doing good but in refining ourselves, and whether few or many come forward and help to prosecute this great work, they will be those that will fill honorable positions in the Kingdom of God.
. . .Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and to each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities."
—Eliza R. Snow, as quoted by Julie B. Beck

charity.

via google image search

"We need to be kinder with one another, more gentle and more forgiving. We need to be slower to anger and more prompt to help. We need to extend the hand of friendship and resist the hand of retribution. In short, we need to love one another with the pure love of Christ, with genuine charity and compassion and, if necessary, shared suffering, for that is the way God loves us."
President Howard W. Hunter

. . .wherefore, the Lord God hath given a commandment that all men should have charity, which charity is love. And except they should have charity they were nothing. . . .
2 Nephi 26:30

better late than never!

Wo unto them that call evil good, and good evil,
that put darkness for light, and light for darkness,
that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
2 Nephi 15:20 compare Isaiah 5:20
Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.
But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God.

For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for everything which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.
But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.
Moroni 7:12-13, 16-17
It has been very hard, and a very long process, to realize, in my own life, where I have been lacking, where I have been calling evil good and good evil (or evil pleasant and good boring). But I have been trying to do better, I have been trying to put my entertainment to this test: does this book/movie/CD invite and entice me to do good or evil? Does it make me feel good, uplifted, enlightened or degraded, confused, distressed, or just plain icky?
I have gone through my books and CD's, and have gotten rid of many, most even, of those things which I felt were really only pulling me down. I am trying to do better at judging the things that I surround myself and my children with. Sometimes I miss the mark, but it is a process and I will get to where I want to be, eventually.

I will go before you.

I attended a stake wide Relief Society meeting on Thursday evening. We had a very special guest speaker, Sister Heidi Swinton, author of. President Monson's biography.

standing with Sister Swinton She was an incredibly captivating speaker. I was sitting in the very back of the chapel, but I was hardly aware there was anyone else there, because I was so focused on what she was saying.
I had taken a notebook with every intention of taking notes, but I completely forgot about my paper. I did remember one thing she mentioned, a scripture reference, so I was able to look it up once I got home. It was Doctrine & Covenants 84:88, which reads:


"...I will go before your face.
I will be on your right hand and on your left,
and my Spirit shall be in your hearts,
and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."

I love how she broke the verse up, emphasizing each line.

"I will go before you..." He has gone before you, paved the way, set the example, traveled your course before you, he knows what is ahead, so He is able to guide and assist you.
"I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts..." Not only does he go before you, but comes back to travel at your side, as your constant companion.
"And mine angels round about you, to bear you up." Not only do you have divine companionship, but you also have angels round about you. The angels are not always heavenly hosts, but many times are your fellow (wo)man. We are angels to each other.

I sat in my seat, soaking this all in, realizing that I should never have to be alone, I always have this divine companionship available to me, and angels round about me! And this great blessing is available to every person as long as they are accepting of the aid and companionship. What an amazing gift!

And, to top the evening off, she signed my personal copy of her book!

the choice is yours

found via google image search

"Whenever we choose to come unto Christ, take His name upon us, and follow His servants, we progress along the path to eternal life.
"...when we don't keep the commandments or follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, our opportunities are reduced; our abilities to act and progress are diminished."

read more here.