Sonder & Whimsy

I learned to knit when I was a teenager. I definitely enjoyed having yet another way of expressing my creativity, and it was fun to see the surprise and wonder on people's faces when they saw me doing something that was more frequently associate with much older women.

When I started, my skills were understandably limited, for several years I only made scarves of varying lengths. It wasn't until after I had children that I started attempting larger/more complicated projects, like blankets and hats. At one point, I borrowed some knitting videos from the library, which is how I learned how to purl, rib, & cable. 

It was after my current youngest was born that I started trying to do even more. Since she was born I've knit a sweater, a tunic, learned how to knit lace patterns, and have made countless baby bonnets. 

It's the bonnets that I've really put my focus into. I mean, is there anything cuter than a sweet babe in a knit bonnet? I've created quite a few of my own designs, as well as figuring out how to make some based on pictures I'd seen online, and then adding my own flair to them. 

Last fall, I dreamed up some adorable Christmas bonnets and decided to open an etsy shop, that I named "Sonder & Whimsy, " to sell them. I got a few sales last year, and a few early on in the spring, then came the summer lull. But, even though I wasn't knitting as much, I was still brainstorming and planning. And finally, last Friday, I listed just a small helping of what I've been creating. These are more Halloween themed, and I wanted to get them up weeks ago, but better late than never, right?

I've got some more autumn designs and colors, as well as some new Christmas bonnets I've been thinking up... We'll see how much I can actually accomplish with this newest babe due in about a month, ha. Honestly though, this new little one has helped light a fire under me. I've come up with some new patterns and have been knitting up a storm testing them out. 

For now, a quick share of my newest listings. Aren't they darling and perfect for this time of year? 

It's 2018?!

I've been pretty absent from this space, for quite a while - I know,
but I wanted to pop in real quick to tell you...

I can't believe it is 2018. We're living in the future! This is crazy.

*all photos by me, using a long exposure and my husband's flashlight, 
edited on my phone with the snapseed app.

journal - 1 // Happy New Year!

source.

2017 has arrived, whether you like it or not.

That might seem like a strange statement, but that's kind of how I feel about it right now. That is, I feel like the new year completely snuck up on me. It felt like time was traveling pretty normally, right until about the 1^st of November. After that it has felt like time suddenly and completely got away from me. I remember as we were talking about our plans for Thanksgiving, feeling as though we had so much time, but then it was the week of, and we were running to the store to pick up ingredients, but it all felt like a dream. Like, the world around me said it was Thanksgiving, and so I was behaving accordingly, even though it didn't feel like that could be true.

Then Thanksgiving was over and everyone was decorating for Christmas, but I wasn't feeling that either. I kept trying, I'd turn on Christmas music, I sort of decorated, but I just couldn't get there. I knew it was coming, everyone was talking about it, the stores and houses around town were covered in Christmas paraphernalia, but I felt unconvinced. When some people dropped by with an envelope with some money and the greeting of “Merry Christmas”, I made the executive decision to use the cash to purchase some decor. It was a week before Christmas as we put up and decorated our new tree, but it still only felt like I was going through the motions.

Christmas day came, and we had some presents (generously & anonymously donated) under our tree. I knew every other Christmas celebrating family was opening gifts, I knew my kids were excited and full of anticipation, but I still wasn't feeling it. So through the motions I went again, and then it was over. The next day, I took down the tree. Normally I want to leave the decor up forever, or at least until after the new year, but I wasn't feeling that at all. I wasn't feeling much of anything, really. I was completely indifferent.

The new year comes only a week after Christmas, and that week went by like any normal week. New Years Eve arrived feeling just like any other day. I knew it was different, because that is what everyone on social media was saying, but I wasn't feeling it. Normally, on New Years Eve, I'm feeling very reflective, and even emotional, as I prepare to say farewell to the old and welcome in the new. Normally, I feel that renewed spark of energy that comes to most people at the new year, the desire to set goals and that initial feeling of commitment and drive that helps most of us hit the ground running as the calendar turns to January, but as I woke up this morning, I still feel none of that.

I'm putting one foot in front of the other, I'm doing my best to complete some daily goals I made when baby Hazel was born, but I still feel this sense of time passing around me faster than I can handle. As the days progress, months change, holidays come and go, I feel stuck. I feel stuck somewhere right after Halloween.

I don't know for sure if this is some sort of postpartum thing. I don't necessarily feel depressed. I don't doubt that I struggled after Noah was born, I was aware of my inner turmoil and worked hard to conceal it, to appear like things were normal. I haven't felt those things I felt then. I felt, and feel, really great about Hazel's birth, I've been so excited to have her here. I love her so much, I love watching her as she grows, been so excited as she has begun to recognize me more, to smile, to coo, to laugh. I've been overjoyed to have another baby girl to dress up, soaking it all up as best I can. I don't feel any negative feelings in regards to her or her arrival, but overall I feel so stuck.

I'm not sure why, I'm not sure if I'll ever feel like I've caught up, or if I'll feel left behind forevermore. For now I'm just going to keep going through the motions and hope that things will eventually begin to feel right again.

july 23, 2016 -- pioneer day celebrations

If you were to ask me what the number one thing I miss about living in Utah is, I would tell you, hands down, Pioneer Day. I miss the parades, the day-long celebrations, the firework shows. That's not to say we haven't been able to celebrate this special holiday while living away from Utah, it's just that -- well, I'm spoiled. After living right off the parade route, and within walking distance to one of the bigger firework shows... the celebrations in Denver and Flagstaff just can't compare. That said, we still enjoy the celebrations, no matter where we are. No need to miss out on a good time, just because it's not the huge celebration that I want.

Last year and this year our stake hosted a Pioneer Day gathering at the park nearest to us. We had just gotten a vehicle earlier that week, so we were pretty dang thrilled just to be getting out of the house. Plus: free food. The downfall was that Mr. Boss was working, so I was on my own with my 5 monkeys and my big, pregnant belly. Plus, it was really warm, which exhausts me so quickly. There was a hay ride, and pony rides, which the kids begged me to let them go do. I was too tired to go right away, and I didn't want them to go without me because: pictures! So I made them wait until after lunch, and then a little longer. Finally I decided to put my big girl pants on, suck it up, and just take them. We went just in time, too. We were some of the last ones to enjoy the hay ride and pony rides.

My handsome, newly-2-year-old.

Waiting for our turn on the hay ride.

They all loved the hay ride.
N was so content sitting on the hay. As we rode, I asked him if he was having fun.
"Yeah!" he responded, with a vigorous head nod.

While the babes waited for their turn on the ponies, they pet and hung out near this goat.

Little N was so cute with the goat. I was kind of surprised at how brave he was, he usually only likes animals from a distance.
But watching him was probably my favorite part of the whole day.

Finally we made it to the front of the line. Ladies first!

Then the big boys got their turn.

As they came back around, Z let go of the saddle horn and called out to me: "Look! I can ride with no hands!"

Last but not least, little N. He was pretty excited about riding a horsie, although he didn't look it. haha.

Waiting around for the hayride that would take us back to the main pavilion.

It's all fun and games until someone has an allergic reaction... 

It was only a few minutes after the hay ride had dropped us back off that C started complaining about his eyes. They were super red and starting to swell up. The activity was basically over by then, so we loaded up and made our way home to get poor C an allergy pill and a shower.

He looked so sad, and so unlike himself, but he was willing to let me get a picture. I felt so bad. I hadn't even considered that the goat or ponies might bother him. But live and learn, I guess. After he'd gotten his pill and a shower, he was feeling better, but it took a couple of days for the swelling in his eyes to completely fade away.

We decided to end the night with creamies, because Utah. The bosslings were all pretty thrilled about that. Especially our littlest, who worked so hard to try and say "popsicle", but his tongue kept getting in the way. He says "plock-ah-lull" with his tongue sticking out and sliding across his mouth with the "L"s. It's just about the cutest thing ever.

Poor swollen boy, in better spirits after a shower and pill.

I love this cheeser!

Seriously, this boy is just so handsome. He makes me swoon on the daily.

Did I mention he's also quite the sassafrass? These three pictures crack me up.

And then there's this studly-kins. He's such a dream boat!

You guys! I can't handle his perfect little face.
...Which is probably a natural defense mechanism, given how mischievous he is.

Playing in the dirt. All day, every day. (I miss grass.)

Creamies to end the night. Everyone was thrilled!

The end.

wreath

Today was a hard day. Yesterday, too. I think I've been sinking into a funk for a while, but I've been distracted. Now that the distractions have passed, I have nothing to stop this funk from settling in. It's frustrating, because in the midst of the funk, my motivation to create tanks, which in turn kind of adds to the funkiness. 

Anyway, somehow in my hard day, at the extra difficult part when the big kids get gone from school, I suddenly needed to make a wreath. Our porch has been covered in extra bits from our tree since Saturday, and I've toyed with the idea of making a wreath since then, but today it was a need. 

I used a hand saw to break everything to the size I wanted, and arranged it on the porch. It's tied together with bits of wire, and, because I didn't have a wreath form, was really floppy. I solved that problem by adding sturdy bits of branches to the back, and was pleasantly surprised that it actually worked. 

When I look at it, I see a sloppy, imperfect mess. But at the same time, it actually looks like a wreath, so that's pretty cool. 

nativity

There was an activity last week, for the women's group at church (relief society). They had a dinner and a service exchange and we were asked to bring something to give, like a homemade treat, a craft, or to write a service that could be given at a later date. I took the opportunity to do some painting. 

I had seen a cute nativity painting online and decided I wanted to do something similar. I had four small canvases of stretched burlap, and decided to do a series of the same basic painting. Burlap is not the easiest thing to paint on, but it gives an interesting texture, which was kind of fun.

Anyway, I took one to the exchange, without getting a picture of it, but here are the remaining three. 

halloween

Oh, hi! Remember me..? Just popping in to share some pictures from Halloween with you. Starting with our traditional pumpkin flavored pancakes. We didn't have any chocolate chips this year, so I drew faces on the griddle. I like to have fun with our pancakes!

We struggled to figure out costumes this year, and maybe committed a Halloween faux-pas by re-using some old costumes, but that is our life right now, so whatever. We did have two new costumes, the Wolf and Little Red. (Never mind that E dressed up as Little Red like 5 years ago, only the apron is a repeat from that costume.)
I was kind of upset with how the day went on Halloween. We didn't get the bosslings into their costumes until it was already nearly dark, which meant I wasn't able to get any decent photos. Now, I know that in the grand scheme of things, decent photos of costumes and festivities are not the most important thing. But I really love taking pictures, and not having a decent opportunity to do so really bothered me. (Don't worry, though, I made them dress up after church the next day! haha...) Then we were late to the neighborhood trunk or treat, and basically missed the whole thing. (These folks do not mess around! But we're now prepared for next year.) *sigh*
After that we decided to do some real trick or treating, and that did not disappoint! I mean, it was really freaking cold, but the bosslings came home with their bags loaded with treats. They were begging us to stop for the night, partly because they were cold, partly because they couldn't carry their bags anymore! 
We ended the night at a friend's house. The kids all watched a Halloween movie and the grown ups got to chat. Plus, I got some hot chocolate! Good times. 

The Big Bad Wolf stalking Little Red.

Little Red in her cozy fleece blanket. ... I mean hood!

You've seen this one before, but how could we resist? Thor, Prince of Thunder!

One year older and wilder, too! I love this silly Dino.

The sweetest little Ewok you ever did see! Sure, we've used this one before, but it's new to him!

I love this crazy bunch, and their willingness to accept their own candy as payment for putting on their costumes on November first so mom could get some decent pictures.

The End.