winners

The results are in. (Think it took me long enough?)

But, before that, I've got to tell you a funny little story.
Remember how Conrad said the new baby would be a sister? Well, I believed him, because I think the young ones just know those sorts of things. And several other people believed him, too. But he tricked us all.
Because my laboring and birthing was happening around the time that the kids wake up, we asked Mr. Boss's mom to come and take them for the day. (I was worried that they would get scared if they saw/heard me during my laboring. Also, we wanted to be able to rest after our baby arrived, without the need to meet the demands of the older kids.) They left about 30 minutes before Zeke arrived.
Later, Mr. Boss was talking with his mom, and she told him something very interesting. On their way to her house, Gramma asked Conrad (one last time) if "Porcupine" was a brother or a sister. I'm sure she was expecting he'd say sister, like he always did. Except he didn't. "Porcupine is a brother." he told her, matter-of-factly. (Their little q & a was about 15-20 minutes before our new baby boy was born.)

Now.
Here are the winners of the big
gender/weight/birthday guessing game:
Because nobody guessed the exact weight or date,
winnings go to the closest guess.

Birthday:
Kalen, who guessed June 16th
Honorable mention: Sarah, who guessed June 17th.

Weight:
Gabby, who guessed 9 lbs
Honorable mention: Kalen and my mom, who both guessed 8 lbs 5 oz.

Gender:
Rachael, Chloe, Alexa, Kalen, poopstane1, Brandi W., Sarah B. and Alicia K., who all correctly guessed: boy.

birth story pt. 3

part i

part ii

Nedra and Gina had returned, we sat around, chatting for a bit, and kept track of how frequently my contractions were coming. I had to let them know when they started and stopped, because I was so quiet that they couldn't tell. After a few spread out contractions, they decided we'd try something else. Back in my bedroom, Nedra checked to see if I'd made any progress throughout the day. But I was still holding at 3cm. I was really upset about that, but she said not to worry about it. She said that my cervix was nice and stretchy, and that she could manually dilate me. Gina poured some olive oil on my belly and began rubbing in clockwise circles, to bring on contractions, and when they would come, Nedra would stretch my cervix open. Within a fairly short period of time, using this method, she took me from that depressing 3cm to 7cm! I was amazed. Once she had me at 7, she broke my water. Finally, there was the full on gush.
While we were in my room, Boss was busy putting the children to bed and getting the pool, which I had finished inflating during the day, filled for me, even though I wasn't allowed to get in yet. I stood and walked around, I sat and I spent time in the bathroom, forever waiting for contractions to really kick in. Boss, exhausted from so little sleep, left us to take a nap.
Near 11 pm I was given the go ahead to get into the pool. The water felt nice, but I couldn't seem to find a comfortable position. Finally I rested my head on one edge and let myself drift into a half-sleep. I had only two or three contractions during my short time in the pool. Nedra eventually informed me that we were going to have to take some more drastic measures to get this baby out. We had already passed the 24 hour mark since my water had started leaking, so it was time. She checked me quickly before I got out of the pool, and I hadn't budged from the 7cm that she had gotten me to earlier, and baby's head was still pretty high. But she mentioned, again, how stretchy my cervix was, and that she had a plan to finish this whole party fairly quickly. Her plan, she said, would be extremely difficult, and it would hurt a lot, but she felt like it was the best option for me. But first, she wanted me to try to stimulate some really good contractions, to help bring baby down a bit.
Once again, I was in the bathroom. I sat down on the toilet and began to push on my belly, trying to copy the motion Gina had used on me to inspire contractions while I was manually dilated. I stopped when one came on and would breathe through it, and then would immediately resume pressing on my belly once it passed. When sitting on the toilet became uncomfortable, I stood and continued pressing on my belly, stopping only when a contraction came on. By the time I emerged from the bathroom, my contractions were coming more frequently, and on their own.
I went back into the living room where I had several more good, strong, hard contractions. Nedra cheered me on. Once they passed, she tried to explain her plan. All I could think of was how delightful an epidural sounded, and I told her so. But I also knew that going to the hospital would be worse for me than staying home. (Just thinking about driving to the hospital, getting all checked in, waiting for however long to get the epidural, figuring I'd be given pitocin, and on top of it all not knowing what would we do with our children, was enough to turn me off of that idea.)
I was tired, frustrated, upset, hurting, and basically ready to quit. But I couldn't quit. We would follow Nedra's plan. First we had to wake Mr. Boss, because we needed the bed. Gina and Mr. Boss prepared the bed for birthing, a shower curtain was laid under our blanket, and chux pads covered the area where I would be laying. Once it was ready, I made my way in. Contractions were still regular and hard. At first I wanted to be leaning over pillows, because the thought of laying down seemed like torture, but Nedra explained that it would probably be a better position to help us accomplish our goal, so I turned. Then came the hard part.
Nedra's plan was to hold up my stretchy cervix during a contraction, and my job was to push past the excruciating pain that it caused. If I pushed hard enough, I would be able to get baby past my cervix and quickly delivered. But when my contraction came, I couldn't do it. The pain was unbearable. All I wanted to do was crawl away from her hand, except I couldn't move. My whole body was shaking violently, but I was paralyzed in pain, I couldn't escape. I didn't want to have to do that ever again, I didn't want to do any of it anymore.
Without removing her hand, my midwife consented to giving me a little break. I used the next few contractions to try, in my own way, to move baby down. Mr. Boss was by my side, holding my hand. He was there as I worked through those contractions. I would lean my cheek against his head as the pain intensified, and his presence made it bearable. When I asked, he would cover my chest with a blanket, to ease my shaking, and he was there to take it away when I got too hot. He was there to offer me sips of Gatorade. He was there.
Nedra was impressed and pleased with the progress I made during those few contractions, but she explained that the only way to get baby past my cervix was for her to hold it back, while I pushed with all of my might. I didn't want to, oh, I really did not want to do that again. But when I had another contraction, she started. And so did I.
The pain was horrible, Nedra and Gina were telling me that I had to do it, that I could do it. So I pushed. I pushed and I cried and I hurt and I shook. I rested my cheek on my Mr. Boss and I forced it until, suddenly, I didn't have to force it anymore. Suddenly my body took over. Finally my body took over, and from there it was all instinctual, uncontrollable.
I could feel my baby moving downward, it seemed both slow and quick, as baby got closer to emerging. They told me to slow down, but I couldn't. Nedra told me to reach down, to feel the top of my baby's head. To focus, to ease baby out slowly. But I couldn't stop, I couldn't help it. I kept going, I pushed, it hurt. I cried out in pain, but I still couldn't stop. I felt the ring of fire, and Nedra instructed me, once more, to slow down. But there was no stopping me, there was no stopping baby.
The head was out, again they told me to stop. But it was no use, because my tiny baby slipped right out. I opened my eyes as my baby was lifted up and that's when I saw it, I saw him. I didn't need Mr. Boss, with his bright, excited eyes, enthusiastically telling me (“It's a boy! Oh, thank you! It's a boy! I love you! A boy!”), because I already knew.
And then he was on my chest. I was still hurting, and here was this boy. But I was sure, sure, that we were having a girl. All I could think was that he wasn't the baby I was expecting. I felt shocked, confused, and a bit disappointed. And then I was angry with myself for not being completely over the moon that I had a brand new baby on my chest, after all of my longing and waiting.
There he was, blue, but alert, just looking at me. And then I was done for. His trusting little eyes looked at me, and I was in love. I still had a faint feeling of disappointment, but I was head over heels in love.

I lay there, against a pile of pillows, with this tiny boy on my chest. I delivered the placenta, was checked for tearing (none!) and then was given an ice pack and some ibuprofen to ease the soreness in my bottom. My little boy just blinked and looked around, and I looked at him, and finally I kissed him. And I thought about how upset C and E would be when we told them that Cupcake was not the sister they thought he was, but that he was actually a brother.

Nedra and Gina busily attended to the emptying of the barely used pool, and got everything cleaned up, while I got to know my newest boy. I watched my blue baby wiggle and squirm and turn pink. I held him to my chest and let him nurse for the first time. After a bit, Nedra and Gina came back. Gina placed a clamp on the cord and I cut it, after which it was time for the newborn exam.
Tiny boy had a big head, and a narrow body (which explained his quick exit). His reflexes were great. Then came the weight check. Finally able to get a really good look at him, I guessed he was somewhere in the 7lb range. Sure enough, my little guy weighed in at 7lbs 10oz. A mere 1oz off from being exactly 2lbs smaller than Z was.

baby boy, during his newborn exam

Mr. Boss was able, then, to hold his new son. I was instructed to use the bathroom. Once I'd finished I made my way to the couch. My stomach felt dizzy as I walked, but was fine once I was sitting. Boss set our tiny boy in my arms, and then he went to wake the children, who had slept through the whole birth, despite my noise-making, one by one.

The big kids were sleepy, but baby S was wide awake.

First was Z, sleep still heavy on his eyes. But he was happy to see his new baby. He gave us both kisses before he was taken back to bed. Then came E, also groggy. We told her that Cupcake was here. We told her he was a brother. Her disappointment was obvious. She clung to her papa, and refused to give me or baby a kiss. Lastly, C was brought out. He was also upset to learn that Cupcake was a brother, but he let me show him our baby before he returned to his bed.

It was near 2:30 am when I climbed into my own bed, tiny boy tucked into my arm, and fell asleep.

birth story pt. 2

part i

I woke up around 8:30 am, and noticed an hour old text from my midwife, Nedra, checking up on me. Throughout the night I had been so sure that I would have my baby by then, so was feeling impatient when I responded, asking for suggestions to get things moving. She called back to give me a few ideas. She said she could come by and check where I was at, and then break my water, thinking that a big gush would send my body the message to start contracting better than my little trickling was doing. She also suggested we could get a hold of another midwife who lives near us to get some Cottonroot extract from her, which is supposed to help get things moving. And lastly she suggested that I could hop in the shower for a half an hour or so, and see if some nipple stimulation would help. I talked with Mr. Boss about it, and we decided to have her come over and check on my progress, first.
When she arrived, we went into my bedroom where I was checked (3cm) and Nedra decided not to do the full water break, yet. She said that baby's head was too high, and that she likes to leave the water alone until mama is, at least, 7cm. Instead she swept my membranes and then sent me to the shower to do nipple stimulation, with the hope that it would be enough to get me started. After that she went to see the midwife near us, to pick up the Cottonroot extract.

The shower didn't seem to do anything. When I got out, I made myself some eggs and waited for my midwife to return. When she got back, she sent me back to the bathroom, to encourage some fluid to come out, so that we could test it to make sure it was, indeed, amniotic fluid. The test was very obviously positive, which was encouraging (we weren't trying to initiate labor for nothing). She then instructed me on how to use the extract, and suggested that if it didn't do anything in the next couple hours we should try a castor oil concoction. We both hoped the extract would do the trick, but she asked me to eat some pasta, just in case we ended up doing the oil. Then she left, to get herself some lunch.

Lunch time for the soon-to-be big brother, hand pump in hand. The pool, on it's side, is in the background.

Playing while waiting for their new baby sibling to arrive.

Every half hour I took some of the extract, as I was instructed, and let my midwife know when I finished my pasta, because she wanted to wait until 2 hours after that to administer the castor oil. I hoped and wished and prayed that my body would hurry up and get to work, so that I could avoid the castor oil all together. I've heard the horror stories, and didn't want to have to experience it for myself. But my body didn't seem to want to work. Contractions continued, but were sporadic and only mildly uncomfortable. I was so frustrated. Already this birth was so far from anything that I had hoped for or expected, and I was starting to feel very discouraged.

The sun hit the side of the pool and made this reflection. I thought it was so peaceful and lovely, the opposite of how I was feeling.

Around 4 pm, Nedra returned, this time with her assistant, Gina. She prepared my castor oil concoction (2 cups orange juice, 2 cups castor oil, ¼ tsp baking soda, I think) and apologized for giving it to me. She said that she tries to avoid it, but my situation (leaking water, labor that won't get started) was the sort that generally causes her to resort to this option. She expressed the hope that, once we got my body to a certain point, it would kick in and take over from memory. She also mentioned that my body was probably having a hard time getting started because I was early. Nedra and Gina left after I'd finished choking the castor oil down, with the instruction to let them know when it kicked in.
I tried to entertain myself while I waited, and then it happened. I learned for myself that castor oil is the devil. After that horrible experience, I continued to wait for contractions to set in. But my body still hadn't gotten the message. All the while my midwife was waiting for me to get a hold of her, to tell her that contractions were coming, but they just weren't. Nedra and Gina returned around 7 pm to find me, miserable and discouraged, with the same old, irregular, wimpy contractions that I'd been experiencing throughout the day.

part iii

birth story pt. 1

It began on Friday, September 7th. I woke up with an overwhelming need to clean. Everything. Now. I spent the day doing load after load of laundry (including the baby laundry that had been sitting in a box waiting for me.) I worked hard on the living room, getting it organized, and clearing surfaces. I got a little distracted and started on the unnecessary task of sorting through pictures. I sort of lost steam after getting sidetracked with that.
But, just before dinner time the desire and motivation to get the house clean returned with full force. There is no pleasant way to explain why, so I'll just say it returned after a little discovery during a trip to the restroom. It was at that time when I started to wonder if my feeling of an early baby was really and truly right, it was then that I realized baby could be coming soon.
I asked Mr. Boss to take over dinner prep, and I got to scrubbing my bathroom. I had cleaned it fairly recently, so the job didn't take as long, but I was still thorough. After that, I moved on to the children's room, wanting to have it finished before bedtime.
(Around this time, I heard the sound of water running, I went to the bathroom to check on it. There I found Z, standing on the toilet, water running from our sink faucet. The sink was full to overflowing, water spilled over onto the floor that I had just finished drying. It was awesome.)
We ate dinner, and then we sent the children to bed. I wasn't sure if/when labor was going to start, so I didn't mention to Mr. Boss that I thought it might be soon. Instead we put on a movie and I kept washing and folding laundry, determined to get everything done. I was folding clothes when I felt like I needed to pee. When I was done, I stood and turned to the sink to wash my hands, and that's when I felt it. A trickle. I quickly dropped my drawers, sat back down and waited. Nothing happened. So, I stood back up. Once again, I felt a small trickle. It didn't take me long to realize what was happening. My water was broken. It didn't come in a great, rushing gush, like I'd experienced with C, just a little bit of leaking. I was feeling a bit shocked, so it took me a moment, but I got smart, put on a pad, washed my hands, and came out of the bathroom. I went straight to my phone to text my midwife, Nedra. It was about 10:30 pm. As soon as the message sent, I figured it was time to fess up to my suspicious spouse. Our baby was coming.
I got the laundry I'd been folding put away, and abandoned the movie we were watching so that I could get the dishes done, clean off my stove top, and get my 39 week post put together and scheduled for the next morning. (Because these are the things you do when you realize your water has broken.) Mr. Boss asked if he should blow up the pool, but I told him not yet. I wasn't really having any contractions, and I didn't know how long it would take for them to start, so I figured we could wait.
By 1 am, I finally felt satisfied with the cleanliness of my house, so I went to bed, to get as much sleep as I could. I tossed and turned for a while. Maybe it was because I was excited and surprised, but I could not fall asleep. Eventually, I did fall into a light slumber, but was woken around 3:45 by what felt like pretty regular contractions. I was breathing through them, but they were a bit uncomfortable, so I decided to get up to find a better position. I thought that this was it, and figured that meant it was a good time to get the pool started. I woke Mr. Boss and asked him to get on that.
We both came out into the living room, I sat on the ball, he tried to get the pool started. Because we didn't have an electric pump, we had to do it by hand. We were told a bike pump would do the trick, but Boss realized that we'd need a needle attachment if it was going to work. The problem was, we didn't have one of those. So I pulled out the hand pump that came with my ball and had him try that. Still, he couldn't get any air into it. I asked if I could give it a try, and was able to get some air into the pool. Boss thought that would take too long. He decided to go against everything he believes in, and went to Walmart, because it was the only place he could think of that would have needles and be open at 4 am.
While he was gone I continued with the hand pump stopping here and there to breathe through a contraction. When Mr. Boss returned, he was impressed with the progress I had made on the pool, but ready to take over. The only problem was that, even with the needles, the bike pump was pretty useless. So the pool was blown up exclusively with the hand pump, each of us taking turns.
I had made pretty great progress with the pool, but since I'd gotten out of bed, it seemed like my contractions had tapered off. I continued sitting on the ball anyway. I hoped that contractions would pick up again. I waited until I felt dead tired, then I went back to bed. I felt bad leaving sleepy Mr. Boss to finish up the pool, but I was sure baby would arrive sometime that morning and wanted it to be ready.
He didn't finish, when he could do no more he fell asleep on the couch. And when the children woke up, bright and early as they always do, he got up with them and let me sleep.

part ii

a birth story

The birth story I've been meaning to share for a year...

June 14, 2010: C and I went to Babies'R'Us for some last minute purchases. I felt fine all day, but I couldn't help but wonder at how funny it would be if baby "porcupine" came sometime the next day, after I'd been out running errands the day before.

I started to feel a bit off as the afternoon eased into early evening. I wasn't in pain, or uncomfortable, but something felt different. I wondered...By the 9'o'clock hour I was still unsure, but I was more convinced than I had been a few hours prior. Even so, I didn't want to get my hopes up.

quiet night
June 14, 2010

I stayed up too late that night. As midnight approached I had a decision to make: take a shower, or hope that it was real, and try to get as much sleep as I could before the party started. I chose sleep.

June 15, 2010, approx. 3am: It is a good thing I chose sleep, because I woke up to use the bathroom and, well, I'll spare the details. But at that point, I knew it really was time. I didn't know how long it would be, though, so I didn't bother to wake Mr. Boss. Instead, I tried to go back to sleep.
I turned this way. I turned that way. Each uncomfortable surge pulled me away from sleep. That dance lasted, maybe, an hour. Oh, I see. This is happening now.
I woke Mr. Boss to let him know what was up. He immediately jumped up, asking if we needed to blow up the pool? if I have called the midwife? ...he was ready for action. Then he started to blow up the pool, anyway. Might as well have it ready, I guess. (And, can I just say, I love Mr. B's reaction when I tell him a baby is coming. Priceless!)
Instead of calling my midwife, I first texted my mom (she was working that night, so she was up) and asked for her expert opinion. (She did have 8 babies, after all.) All along, though, I knew I just needed to listen to my body.

Somewhere between 5-6am: I called my midwife to give her a heads up. She asked how I was feeling, and how quickly the contractions were coming, and how long they lasted. I told her, and she sounded unhurried by my response.
During my labor with E, contractions were coming similarly to the ones I was having when I decided it was time to go to the hospital (and she was born within an hour of arriving), and I explained this to her. Well, I tried to explain this to her, but I was kind of groggy and ready to get into the pool. She said she'd be about an hour.
Mr. Boss was being a busy little bee, and had the pool inflated and filled with enough warm water to suit my needs. (And he had more warming on the stove, since our water didn't stay warm enough to fill the pool.) I gingerly stripped, and climbed in. Oh! The water was wonderful! (Seriously, even if you don't ever do a home or water birth, at least labor for a bit in some water, it is amazing!)
I went for a squatting position, with my arms draped over, and my head resting on, the edge of the pool. This was when time really began to get away from me.
I could breathe through each contraction, and they became a bit more intense with each one. As soon as one would end, I would relax, and rest my head. I was so tired, so I would shut my eyes and begin to drift off to sleep...until another contraction began a couple of minutes later.
I believe it was around 6:30am when Mr. Boss called his mother. We had planned to have her take C and E for the birth, and for the day, to help make the day less crazy.
Vivian and Heather (midwife and midwife assistant) arrived around 7. Heather arrived first, then my mother-in-law, and then Vivian. Though I can't tell you how I know, because I was a little busy/distracted by then.
During one particular contraction, Vivian ran her hand down my spine, as a way to help me visualize and be aware of what my body was working towards, and the direction I needed to focus my attention on. That particular contraction? Didn't hurt one single bit. It was the most amazing contraction ever. (I only wish every other contraction could have been so wonderful.)The kids were still sleeping, so Mr. Boss and his mom sat in the living room for a bit. Mr. Boss really liked that he could leave my alone and know that I was taken care of (he doesn't trust the people at the hospital that much) and it helped things to be less overwhelming for him.
I continued to labor in the pool, falling asleep between contractions, trying to answer little questions, and beginning to feel the need to do a little more than breathe during contractions.
I was never checked, which thrills me to no end (it's the most uncomfortable part, and so very unnecessary!) But my midwives did instruct me on how I could "check" for myself. That was weird and cool, and different. Baby was getting closer!

The children were not awake by 8 and, in retrospect, I kind of (really) wish we would have just left them, and they could have met their new sibling before heading off with grandma for the day. But this was when Mr. Boss and his mother went and woke them, and took them to the car. They visited for a bit longer after that, but at 8:30 my midwives realized that the time had come, and Mr. Boss was called to be in the room with me.

8:30 am: I change from a squatting position to a slanted/laying position, with my back supported by the side of the pool. As soon as I changed I had a vicious contraction, and wanted to go back to how I had been before, but I couldn't, for fear of bringing another awful contraction. I had Mr. Boss on my left and Vivian on my right, each holding a hand, as I felt that, without them, I might slip beneath the water and drown.
I was tired and nearing the end.
With each contraction, I began to push/bear down. It was the only thing that "eased" my discomfort. Plus, I kind of couldn't help it at that point.
This went on for a few minutes. After each contraction I noticed that my hands felt tingly, because I wasn't getting enough oxygen, but my contractions were pretty much right on top of each other. I tried to inhale deeply, but that was not an easy thing to do, and I was exhaling more than I was able to inhale.
8:38am: My water broke as I was pushing. The big moment was that much closer. Then it happened. The "ring of fire" which supposedly only lasts as long as the head passes through, but lasts, for me, until baby is out. But this is where it got...fun... (not really.)

(Every time I am informed that the baby's head is out, it's kind of a let down. It feels like that part takes forever, and surely I got the whole baby out with the effort that I've been making, and isn't the rest of the baby supposed to just slip right out behind the head?! Yeah, no.)

This time was even more "fun", because nothing happened after the head was out. I waited for a contraction to come, I couldn't continue without one, and where was it? And, gosh, this is really unpleasant, and remember how I said the burning lasts until the whole baby is out? I finally couldn't take it anymore, and I start trying to push anyway, hoping it would bring on another contraction. Heather helped my efforts by guiding (but more like pulling) the baby out of me, which finally brought on that final contraction, followed by the relief, and the heaviest little weight being set in my arms, and Mr. Boss repeating over and over "It's a boy! We have another boy!" And even though I had been hoping for another girl, to hear we had a boy just sounded so right. And I just sat there in the water, with this baby in my arms, realizing what I had just accomplished and wondering why this boy felt so heavy, and hoping that none of my future babies get stuck like he did, because that was the most unpleasant thing to have ever experienced.Really, my mind was going a million miles a minute, but not to the point where I couldn't ask the time of birth. 8:46 am. That's about 5 hours and 46 (or so) minutes after I woke up to discover it was "time". And that makes me happy (especially after the 33.5 hour time span between my water breaking and C being born.)That morning brought a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, plus the exhaustion that comes with the work.
Now, one year later, I don't feel that kind of exhaustion, but I am experiencing a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. It has been one year since that incredible morning.

It has been one year since my barrel-chested, 9lb 9oz boy entered this world
One year ago he seemed huge, and now he's even bigger.
One year ago his hair was dark and shaggy, now it is blonde and...shaggy.
One year ago he was brand new and helpless, now he is a strong-willed little stinker and the speediest crawler I've ever seen.
One year ago he radiated pure love. He still does today.

♥Happiest 1st Birthday, my little Porcupine!♥♥Thanks for choosing me to be your mama.♥