Recently, I wrote about how things have been pretty hard for us since moving to AZ. I was trying to have a good attitude in that post but, at that point, it was the middle of summer break, the babes and I were cooped up in our isolated oven-house with a broken down car taunting us from our driveway, on top of being pregnant and tired and everything else that has been hard about living here. Basically, I don't know how well I did in my attempt to not make that post one giant complain-fest.
Anyway, things have improved somewhat since then. For example, we have a running vehicle again (thanks to angels on earth). The kids are in school which gives me a bit of a break during the day. We still have a lot of hard things that we're dealing with, but there has been a lot happening to make it all feel a little easier to bear.
Along with things going a little better, I've been thinking about the little tools I've used to help pull myself out of a funk on the really rough days. I think one of the best ways to maintain a positive outlook, even amidst hard times, is to have some ideas set aside before the super hard days hit, things you can do to help lift your spirits when life is getting you down.
Here are some of the things I've done to boost my mood and help me through my own hard times:
1. Do something you love.
I know that when I'm in a rut, I can get myself feeling better by getting outside with my camera and taking some photos of nature. Just being outside is calming, but focusing on the tiny, beautiful details around me, the lighting, and my camera settings completely takes my thoughts off of the thing(s) that are contributing to my down and out feelings.
So, if you're having a hard day/week/month, get out there and do something you love. Do something that brings you joy every time you do it. Sometimes the motivation won't be there, it's been that way for me many times, but if you can make yourself do it anyway, I promise, it will help.
2. Turn on some music.
I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling grumpy and unmotivated, a sure fire way to instantly boost my mood and productivity is to turn on some lively tunes that I can sing along to. I think it's something I took from my childhood. My dad always had music playing while he worked around the house or in his garden, and it has stuck with me. When it's time to work: turn on the music.
Now, there are so many kinds of music, and some of it is not going to help. You do have to be intentional about the music you pick. For example, don't choose music that you would listen to when you want to sit in sadness and negativity. Instead choose something that is lively, that pumps you up, that excites you. I actually went through my music and made a mix of songs that I feel give me that boost in energy and mood. Whenever I feel myself dip into a funk, I've got that ready to go, all I need to do is turn it on.
3. Pray/meditate & read scriptures/uplifting literature.
I've been waking up pretty consistently anywhere between 5:30-6:30 most mornings for the past couple of months. It gives me the opportunity to start my day in peace and quiet, before the regular chaos of the day starts up. From the very start, I decided that, since there was nothing to distract me, the absolute first thing I would do on those early mornings would be to pray and read my scriptures. And let me tell you, my days go a lot smoother when I am able to start out that way. I find that, by the time everyone starts waking up, that I just feel more ready to handle what the day might bring. (As opposed to the mornings when I'm woken by the sound of children fighting or sneaking into the kitchen or my closet on the hunt for contraband goodies – because those days pretty much always end up feeling rushed and chaotic and frustrating.)
Just starting the day early gives me a boost, but coupling my early mornings with prayer and scripture study has really helped. I pretty much always feel motivated/inspired after reading through a chapter or two in my scriptures. And hashing out the things that I'm worried about/struggling with, and considering the things I'm grateful for helps me start the day feeling a bit less weighed down by the hard stuff.
Which leads me to...
4. Be grateful.
I feel like this one has maybe reached cliché status, but it's true. As we express gratitude we really do feel better. All of us will experience hard times, that’s just a fact of life. But even in our trials there is nearly always something to be grateful for. Anything from a working vehicle to the clothes on your back, or it could be that you have a rocking support system, a roof over your head, your health. Maybe it's something as simple as having the opportunity to witness a stunning sunset while you were stuck in traffic. When you actively think about and feel gratitude for the good things in life, your mood will improve.
When I've let negativity take over, I find it's a lot harder to think of things to be grateful for. So don't wait until things are hard to be grateful. If you can begin to develop the habit of expressing gratitude when things are going well, it will be a lot easier to keep it up when the going gets rough.
5. Remember the why.
A lot of our hard times over the past year have been a result of our financial state since moving to AZ. One thing we frequently try to talk about and remember is why we came here. We knew before coming that it would be a huge pay cut, we knew it would be financially difficult. We couldn't foresee just how hard things would be, didn't know that on top of the financial trouble that we'd experience some difficult car troubles, from totaling a car to having an unreliable piece of junk, that would leave us without a car for months at a time.
The point is, we didn't come here with the idea that things would be easy. But even with the understanding that it would be challenging, we still felt that it was the right thing to do. The way things worked out to get us here, the “coincidences” that kept happening along the way, were all taken as signs and encouragement that we were making the right choice.
So, on the days when the stress of life seems so heavy I can barely breathe, I remember why we came, as well as all the good that has come during our time here. Because it's been hard and sucky a lot, but it has also been a really incredible, humbling, beautiful experience.
6. Go easy on yourself.
One of the most important things you can do when you find yourself living through a crappy time is to not beat yourself up over it. Don't shame yourself for feeling upset over something you think shouldn't bother you. You might look around and think what you're going through is nothing compared to what your neighbor/friend/that random person online is going through, but that doesn't mean that what you're experiencing isn't hard. Pain is pain, struggle is struggle. Some days will be better than others, and some days will be awful. It's okay to have a bad day or a bad week from time to time.
There is nothing wrong with you if you find yourself in a rough patch. Everyone has good days and bad days for various reasons, so having tools and a plan in place to get through those hard times is a good idea. But remember, there might be days when all the positive thinking tools won't make a difference, and that's okay, too. Just don't let yourself get stuck in that negative space. Let yourself experience the hard day, accept it, work through it as much as you can, and then try again the next day. ♥
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You are awesome! ♥