We have entered an interesting stage with Mr. Porcupine. One where meal time is always drama. It's really confusing to me. The boy loves food, he loves to eat, but every time we sit at the table, somewhere between getting in his seat and saying “Amen” at the end of the blessing he kind of freaks out. When I hand him his food he screams and pushes or throws it away. Anything offered to him when he is behaving this way is shunned.
Sometimes he will sit in his seat and eventually calm down enough to realize he's hungry, and then he eats. Last night, he refused to eat his dinner, but gobbled up his papa's food with no complaint. This morning he shunned his cereal, and eventually climbed from his chair onto my lap. Once there he signed “please” over and over, hoping to get a bite of my breakfast. Instead, I ignored him. I just kept on eating. During the beginning of his fit, he had taken off his bib, but after being ignored for a short while he pulled it over and let me put him on it. Still I refused to give him any of my food. Finally he reached for his bowl and, right there on my lap, he ate his own food without another complaint.
This was pleasing to me, as there are times where he'll finally start eating, but halfway through his meal he'll be grumpy again, and refuse to take another bite. And then he screams if I give it to someone else or throw it out. Like, “hey, that's my food!” Even though we both know he wasn't going to eat any more of it.
When he does this at lunch time it is usually accompanied by eye rubbing, so I assume those outbursts are because he's tired. He goes down for nap right after lunch, but when he's particularly cranky, I'll send him to bed, and give him his lunch as soon as he wakes up. But the breakfast and dinner tantrums don't seem to have a cause. It can be so confusing and frustrating. I try to remain calm, as does Mr. Boss, when it occurs while he's home, but sometimes the only way for us not to get excited about it is by sending our little man to bed.
I don't like the idea of trying to accommodate him. I love my little boy, and I love being close to him, but I don't want him to think that he can walk all over me. I get upset with myself when I let him climb out of his chair to sit on my lap, just to have a calmer meal time. I want him to stay in his seat. And I don't really like that Mr. Boss traded dinners with Z last night, just to get him to eat. I don't want him to think that screaming and throwing a fit will get him what he wants. I want him to be held to the same standard as his older siblings: “You get what you get, and you don't throw a grenade fit.” I want to have meal time be peaceful and pleasant, which doesn't happen with a screaming toddler.
This is all so different than anything we experienced with the older two. They never really threw tantrums, because their language was so well developed by the age of two that we could ask them what was upsetting them, and they could respond. Z surprises people with how well he can communicate, but he is still behind where the older two were at this age. It is frustrating for me, and I'm sure it is frustrating for him, too.
I'm trying to be consistent. I'm trying not to give in. And I'm hoping this passes quickly.
I'm trying to be consistent. I'm trying not to give in. And I'm hoping this passes quickly.
**images from January 2011, Porcupine was 7 months.
