oh, hormones...

Today was rough. It started with some snow on the ground (an instant mood killer.) Then there was the part of the day, when Conrad was on his potty. I left the room for a minute, and when I came back he ran towards me, pants-less, saying "I made a mess with my tinkle, mama." There were two drops in the potty, sprinkles on the potty, wetness around the potty. Oh, and he somehow managed to get tinkle on his sister. Yes, really. And this all happened by noonish.
Today had "bad day" written all over it.

We had invited some guests for dinner. I was planning to make one of my favorite meals. But I needed to pick up the crucial, main ingredient: the chayote. And some ground beef, because I forgot to thaw the meat I bought the other night.
I went to Smith's, got my beef and a bell pepper, but their chayote was sub-par and blemished. This is not the first time that I've been dissatisfied with their chayote, so I did what I always do. I went to Whole Foods. They usually have beautiful, bright green chayote, I only go to Smith's first because it's closer. Unfortunately, theirs were even worse looking than the ones I had seen at Smith's.

Frustrated, I took a break to drop some packages off at the post office.

To the three lovely ladies they are going to they will (hopefully) be a welcome (although long over-due) surprise.

After that I set out to try and find some decent looking chayote. It was nearing 5:20 at this point, and our guests were expected at 5:30. The first store I went to didn't carry them, that I could see. When I got to the next store (another Smith's) Mr. Boss called to tell me that our guests had arrived. I remained hopeful as I made my way towards the produce section, but those hopes were crushed when I could only find one (I needed two) and it was blemished like the rest.
Pathetically, I felt a great lump form in my throat as I walked towards the exit. I only had one store left that I would try, my third Smith's of the night, and I was already far from home.
I had no luck at this final store, as they didn't seem to have any. Nearing tears, I decided dinner would have to be something different. I walked to the pasta aisle and grabbed a couple of boxes of spaghetti. All the while holding back tears, almost failing to keep them back. I felt so stupid. I was so frustrated, but to be crying about it? What am I? Pregnant?
By the time I made it to the U-scan (which I hardly ever use, but was in no mood to make chit-chat with a checker at this point) I was mostly calmed down. When I got in my car I texted the new dinner plan to Mr. Boss, and asked him to start cooking with what we had. I didn't want to call to tell him, because I didn't want to end up crying to him over the phone, and I would likely have used bad words, too. Of course, instead of texting his response he called me. I almost lost it at the very end of the call, but held it together until after we hung up.
As I drove home I struggled with my frustrated emotions, and yes, I cried. And I felt so foolish the whole time. Seriously? I was crying because I couldn't find a vegetable? What a loser.

Dinner took forever to make (our stove is horrible for quickly boiling water. It takes forever.) But the food was tasty once it was finished. And the company was awesome. But I still feel like a loser and a failure.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. (?)