mama boss

want to see my living room?

2012-01-26T22:53:00.009-07:00

Something amazing happened today. I was sitting on the couch when an idea came into my head. A seemingly quick and easy change to my living room: moving our striped rug from in front of the couch to the area just inside our front door. So, I got up, moved some shelves around, vacuumed, set the rug where I wanted, and replaced the shelves. I was so pleased with the results that, before I knew it, I had been bitten by the cleaning bug, and gave our whole front room a bit of a face lift.The next thing to change was a shelf that was behind the couch in my "office" area. I decided to move it into my bedroom, thus freeing up some space in our crowded living room, and getting things out of the reach of children. That was followed by the removal of a Turkish rug from my "office" floor. (Now to figure out another place for it to live.)

After that I moved our couch, which has been in the center of the room, breaking up the space, and making it seem small and cramped. I moved it under our big living room window. (But Mr. Boss doesn't like it there, so it's position will probably be temporary.)I also re-hung some pictures onto one of our walls. I'd had pictures there before, but had taken them down during one of my previous re-arranging sessions. I've been wanting to put them back for weeks, so I finally got to that.And I added something new. I recently got a bunch of 4x6 prints, and figured, if I was going to have them, I might as well display them. So I got a picture that Mr. Boss hates, took it out of the frame, and taped a bunch of pictures to it. I'm rather pleased with the result.

The room is not perfectly clean, I still have mounds of laundry to sort through, wash and put away. (I hate laundry.) My desk still needs some attention, as well as the top of our entertainment center. But this was a big step in the right direction, and I'm pretty darn proud of my days accomplishment.

Now to clean off my computer screen.Scribbles are compliments of the 19-month-old who loves to climb on mama's desk and terrorize everything in sight. Baby-zilla, that boy is.

it's friday

2012-01-20T16:28:00.004-07:00

January 8, 2012This week has been the sort of week where all the days blend together, and kind of spit you out at the end. I feel like I have so much on my plate, but nothing gets done. I see things that I want to do, but can't seem to muster the motivation to accomplish anything. I'm distracted and scatter-brained. I know the problem and the solution. There is too much junk weighing me down, and I just need to go through and de-clutter everything. But that takes me back to the lack of motivation.
What do you do when you need to get things done, and you know you'll feel better once you do it, but you just can't seem to get started?

words and (really cute) pictures.

2012-01-19T23:02:00.006-07:00

The house was dark and quiet, aside from the glow of the computer screen and my occasional clicking. The time was 9:08, and I was thinking it was about time to turn in for the night. Until I heard the faint, but growing sound of a child crying. I knew pretty quickly that it was 19-month-old Z. He is one who normally goes down for naps and at bedtime without a fuss. He knows he's tired and doesn't fight it. But he did tonight, so I wasn't really surprised to hear him.
I hurried in to him, and removed him from his room. The last thing I need is for him to wake the other two, then I'd be in a real mess! I grabbed a blanket and his cup of water before finding a place for us to sit. He drank a bit but continued to fuss. I wasn't quite sure of what to do to calm him. Not much later I heard a knock. It was Mr. Boss. He suggested a teething remedy, which calmed him for a moment, but poor Z was still pretty distressed."Get him a snack," was the next suggestion.

So Z and I made our way to the kitchen. I grabbed a sleeve of graham crackers and we sat ourselves down and began to snack. After a few crackers I asked him if he was ready to go to bed. He responded by signing "please" for more crackers. We did that a couple of times before I realized there were only 2 sheets left, and we might as well finish them off.He didn't believe that they were gone, and grabbed the empty plastic with one hand and shoved the other inside, as if something would magically appear. But nothing did. I took him into the bathroom to clean his hands and we made faces into the mirror for a bit. I just love his wide mouth grin and his gaped baby teeth.

When I finally took him back to his room he expressed his disagreement, but quieted down once his head was on his pillow and he had a puppy secured in a tight head-lock. This boy is a prime example of one who is pleased with the simplest things: cuddles, a snack, a drink, a comfy place to lay, a squishy friend.I am so smitten by this little blondie. He is the biggest trouble maker, but he's also full of love and affection and cheesy grins. Yep, I just figured it out. He's my fire-cracker baby. Oh, how I love him.

a day at the park.

2012-01-11T14:20:00.000-07:00

This is what we did yesterday:

This is what it looks like today:

Why, yes, that is my Christmas tree.

but I’ll take less... if more means having less of you. **

2012-01-06T09:20:00.003-07:00

The idea of doing a year in review post is so unappealing to me. It seems so tedious to go back through the year and remind you about all of the stuff that happened. So, instead of that, I've decided to post the links (and a picture from each) of the 5 most visited posts from 2011. Enjoy.

5. porcupine.

4. spring cleaning.

3. caakies.

2. colorado bound.

1. morning beauty.

**All The Pennies

ice skating

2012-01-03T22:51:00.006-07:00

For about 2 years, ever since we attended a friend's wedding reception, C has wanted to go ice skating. And tonight he got his chance. The young men and young women from my branch and our sister-ward went ice skating, and since I have a calling to work with the young women, I was able to join them.
Mr. Boss stayed home with the younger two, but we both agreed that I should take C with me.
He was pretty excited when we arrived at the skating rink downtown. He patiently waited while I tied his skates on, and then mine. Finally, we were ready. As much as he had anticipated the moment, I think that first step onto the ice really took him by surprise. But I held him up and managed to maintain our balance as we began moving forward.On our first lap we stayed next to the edge, and took turns holding on to the wall, all while I held him up. It took us a good while to get around the rink, and he sounded like he wasn't sure why he ever thought he wanted to ice skate. By the time we made it back around he was ready to take of his skates and call it a night.
After a quick break for a drink of water, I convinced him to give it one more shot. He wasn't very happy about it, but he didn't fight as I led him to the ice. About 30 seconds after we got back on the ice he realized he needed to pee. I looked around frantically and saw the young women's president. "Do you know where a bathroom is?" I asked. She didn't, but she suggested I just put C over the wall and let him go, and then pull him back over.
Her suggestion inspired a similar idea, we walked off of the ice again, and over to a somewhat secluded area behind the wall, and helped him to go. All the while I was laughing at the situation. Kids are awesome! Seriously!After that we got back on the ice and managed another go-around. And then, despite his protests, I convinced him to try going around one more time. It was on this third loop that he started to seem a bit more comfortable on the ice. We started to really have fun, and we couldn't stop laughing. It was during this loop that most of these pictures were taken.About 3/4 of the way around the young women's president skated over, offered to hold one of C's hands, and helped us to skate for a bit in the center of the rink, where there were fewer grooves in the ice. C seemed to enjoy skating at this point, but didn't complain when we made our way off of the ice.It was such a beautiful and clear night. I'm so glad I decided to take C with me. I feel like we don't spend a lot of one-on-one time together, so this was really great for both of us. I sure do love this boy and his spunky, silly ways. And I love the way he flirts with the young women, he really seems to fancy one in particular. He makes them all laugh, and he makes me laugh, too.After I took C's skates off, I asked one of the young men if he'd keep an eye on C while I made a quick loop, child-free. He agreed, and even stood C up on the wall so he could watch me. After my second loop I made my way over to them, and one of the young women who was standing nearby informed me that C said I was "doing a great job". He was pretty impressed with my skating abilities. It was something simple, and unimpressive, but my boy was in awe of me, and that is a wonderful feeling. Being a mom is the best thing I have ever done.

rockstar

2012-01-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

This is my current favorite picture.

Hence it's placement in my updated header.

I love these silly kids!

teaching christmas

2011-12-28T05:30:00.001-07:00

As I said, just a couple of days ago, I am trying to figure out Christmas for our family. How to teach the children the REAL meaning, and how much of the fluff I can really let go of.
On that day I was feeling like I was still missing the elusive mark of "perfect Christmas". But by the time I tucked the kids in to bed on Christmas night, I was feeling pretty good. I really think that it helped to have Christmas fall on a Sunday this year. The children and I attended the one-hour meeting, and it was truly a spiritually nourishing meeting.
Other than that our Christmas day was pretty quiet. The presents that were sent by the grandma's had been opened the day after they each had arrived. And because we are away from family there was nobody that we needed to visit or to have come visit us. It was really relaxing and wonderful.
After dinner Christmas night, we got the children ready for bed, and instead of our normal, before bed scripture reading, I pulled out my bible and read from Luke 1:26-38 and Luke 2:1-40. It was a lot more than the kids are used to. (We usually read one verse each from wherever we are, the children repeat the words after me or Mr. Boss.) And it was different, because I did all of the reading. In retrospect, that is one thing I think I'll change in the future. I want them to participate in that reading.
After prayers we all gave hugs. I wished the children a Merry Christmas, and they wished the same to me... and then to their dad. Ha.

But teaching children about Christmas involves more than what happens on Christmas day. One thing I did this year was draw some pictures on our dryer (my second white board) of moments described in Luke 1 and 2. The first three pictures lasted about a week each. The 4th came on Christmas Eve, and I drew the 5th on Christmas morning.
As each picture appeared the children and I would talk about what was drawn, and I would read the scriptures that correlated with the image.The best part was that, before reading the verses, I would ask the children what they saw. They knew that this was the angel appearing to Mary. And they recognized the scenes in the rest of the pictures, as well.E's response to the second drawing was: "That's Mary and a donkey...and Joseph." And when I asked what they were doing she said: "they're going to Bethlehem." She later added: "Baby Jesus is in Mary's tummy!"The drawings are imperfect, but how they look isn't important. Through these drawings I was able to keep a conversation going with the children during this whole month about the true meaning of Christmas.

And Mr. Boss actually gave me a gift this year. Nothing physical, just a thank you "for the most quiet and relaxed Christmas ever."
I couldn't have asked for anything better.

from the archives: 9.23.10

2011-12-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

Some Goodness

Z is an angel. When he hears me speak, he quickly turns towards me and pays full attention. Whenever he catches sight of me he grins the biggest grin, and his whole body shakes. I have never been a very self-confident person, but it is hard to feel anything but amazing when you've got someone looking at you like you are the world. That, I think, is my favorite part of motherhood.

We went to the library today, after Mr. Boss arrived home from work. He insisted that we go, so we went. I didn't really want to go, because we always borrow a stack of DVD's, and I feel like we watch too much TV. So, when we got there, I avoided the sections for movies. Instead I found a couple of cute books for the kids, and a couple of CD's for myself, one of hymns, the other...opera. (It reminds me of my dad, and I miss him. I wish California were closer.)

I began dinner preparations shortly after we got home (and, by "shortly after" I mean "after Z had a quick snack.") But, before I set to chopping up my veggies, I pulled out my CD player and started that opera CD. Mr. Boss rolled his eyes when he heard the music begin. Gosh, at least I didn't play it as loudly as my dad would have, or as loudly as Mr. Boss plays his music. Anyway, I think he secretly liked it.

And, speaking of CD's, I've been thinking for a while that it is time I go through my own collection and get rid of most of them. It has been a hard decision to come too, especially because I really love a lot of the CD's I'm planning to get rid of. But, the truth of the matter is: I hardly ever listen to them, anyway. And I don't like the idea of the kids listening to them, either.
I've also been thinking I need to go through my book shelf again, even though I recently got rid of a bunch of books. I just keep thinking that there are still books on that shelf that don't need to be there.
I think there is something magical about de-cluttering. I throw a few things out and it just makes me want to throw out more. The thought of having clean, empty space is so thrilling to me. I never thought I would say that. But there is really something so satisfying about getting rid of things you don't really need, and the empty spaces that are created as more things are taken away.

2011-12-25T12:25:00.002-07:00

a post in which I ramble about Christmas

2011-12-24T05:20:00.002-07:00

A long time ago, before the thought of having my own family had really taken a hold of my mind and heart, I had assumptions about how certain aspects of my future life would be. The one I'm going to talk about is, of course, Christmas.
I was raised in a home where Christmas was celebrated. It was celebrated with a tree and presents, with family, and with the magic that naturally accompanies this time of year. I was raised believing in Santa, as well as in Jesus Christ. It was all I knew and, I assumed, all I would ever know.Christmas 1988Why shouldn't my future Christmases be filled with familiar traditions? Why wouldn't I carry on the magic that I enjoyed as a child? What else was there?
Then I met, and after a short while married, my handsome Mr. Boss. I was aware, when we wed, that my new husband did not like Christmas. I just didn't really know to what extent.

Suddenly, our first Christmas was upon us, and I was so confused. I desired the excitement of the traditions from my childhood, but also wanted to keep my irritated spouse happy. Christmas won that year, when I bought my very own, pre-lit, artificial tree. Mr. Boss also “won” when I agreed not to bestow upon him any Christmas gifts. And I knew not to expect any from him, either.Christmas 2006Already pregnant with our first child, I imagined what future Christmases would hold. Everyone told me that Mr. Boss would change his tune, once he had children, and I hoped for that, more than anything. Even so, I decided to “compromise” with him. I would not teach our children to believe in Santa. I thought it would be enough to get him to come around by the next year.

Our first Christmas as parents came the very next year, but there I was setting up my tree by myself again. And there was a December scowl pasted on the face of my beloved. Still, I was assured, when our children were old enough to get excited by Christmas, then I would see a change in my husband.Christmas 2007Our only child was just shy of 6-months-old, so I kept that Christmas small. The few gifts I bought for C were never wrapped, and were actually introduced to him a day late.

By our third Christmas we had two small children, and I began to wonder if Mr. Boss would ever warm up to the holiday season. Due to finances, and the ages of the children, I chose to have a simple Christmas, highlighted only by the sparkling, decorated tree. Loving ward members had a different idea, and a bag of gifts was dropped of at our door, although not as sneakily as those who made the delivery may have liked. (I still laugh at that memory... nearly running into two familiar men on their way to our door as I ran a bag of trash out to the dumpster.)
Christmas 2008I overflowed with gratitude for the kindness we were shown that year.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't bothered by the mass-consumerism/commercialism/gluttony that seems to have become “traditional” Christmas. I think, in the past, I was blind to it, because I was caught up in it. All I knew about Christmas was beautiful decorations, perfectly wrapped parcels under the tree, delicious and rich foods, and all the shopping. I mean, I knew Christmas was about Jesus Christ, but at the same time, I wonder if I really did know.

Being married to a man who would like to have nothing to do with this entire month has caused me to step back and examine it myself and my celebration of holidays. And, when I did, the rose colored glasses came of quick.

On our fourth Christmas, I think mostly out of habit, or fear of the unknown, I tried again to have what I envisioned to be a “traditional Christmas”. This was the only year I did stockings. And, though there were few presents, I tried to make it look exciting and big. But at the end of it all, it just didn't feel right. Something was missing, the focus of our celebration was off.

Christmas 2009

When I pulled out the decor for our fifth Christmas, I left quite a bit in storage. I set up some lights in our windows, and I put up the tree, with the least amount of ornaments ever, and that was it. I had recently read some articles that inspired me to try a gift-free Christmas. And I tried my best to turn my focus from secular celebrations to the true meaning of Christmas. I tried to turn my focus to Christ.Christmas 2010Our fifth Christmas was far more simple than any before, and in our own home there were no gifts. But, as one might expect, loving family members did give, and the children received presents from grandparents, aunts and uncles.

On December 26th I was feeling quite downtrodden. I was confused and feeling like I'd failed. I felt like I had not only taken the joy and magic of a “traditional” Christmas from my children, but that I had failed to replace it with one that was truly centered on Christ. Instead, it seemed, we had fallen somewhere in the middle, and it all felt meaningless.
I had a faint idea of what I had wanted Christmas to be, but no vision or plan of how to get there. And I knew I didn't want to feel this way again in a year.

Christmas 2011So, here we are, the Eve of my 6th married Christmas, my 5th as a mother, and... I'm feeling very similarly to how I felt nearly one year ago. I feel like nothing has changed, and I know that it is my own fault.

Because the children are a little bit older, I have been able to explain to them why we celebrate Christmas. (C knows: "it's to celebrate Jesus' birthday.") And I've had the opportunity to explain to them why we don't believe in/do Santa, while still teaching them not to ruin it for others. They seem to understand the reason for the season, and yet I still feel like we're missing something.
Like last year, we aren't doing gifts this year, (aside from the ones sent by loving grandmothers.) The gifts are fun and exciting, but in those moments when paper is being shredded and the contents inside revealed, I worry that the natural tendency is not to have thoughts of our Savior, but “what did I get?” The gifts are fun and exciting, but is it possible that they are too distracting? That they are extra fluff that blocks the view of the star, the stable, the child?

My question this Christmas Eve is, what can be done to return our thoughts to Christ this Christmas? Are the presents, the decorations, the decadent foods really necessary, or can a truly Merry Christmas be had without?
It is Christmas Eve, and it feels like it's too late to fully turn my focus to the real reason for the season, but the beautiful thing is this: it is never too late. I'm grateful that my church has set up a site with wonderful ideas and traditions to help in creating a more Christ-centered Christmas.
I hope that next year finds me better prepared to celebrate the birth of my Savior.

a Christmas miracle

2011-12-17T22:12:00.010-07:00

5 years ago, Mr. Boss and I experienced our first Christmas as a married couple. I say "experienced" and not "celebrated" because I was the only one celebrating.
It's not really a secret that Mr. Boss does not like Christmas. In fact, he detests the entire month of December. Including his birthday, which happened to be today.
Anyway, for that Christmas 5 years ago, I bought myself a tree. For $25 (an extremely good deal) I bought a pre-lit, 6' tree. It was perfect and I was in love. And every year since then, usually on the day after Thanksgiving, I would set up and decorate that wonderful tree.
I think it was a Christmas miracle in itself, that I never had a problem with the lights.... and that Mr. Boss never followed through on his threats to take it out front, to destroy it, when it didn't come down on December 26th. ;)
Little did I know, as I was setting it up last year, that it would be the last time I would do so. I didn't realize that, in a few short months, I would be willing to part with the tree that had been so good to me. But it happened.As we were preparing for our move to Denver, we kept on feeling like we needed to down-size. We didn't know how much space we would have in our future residence, and we felt like it would be best if we either got rid of (donated), or left behind (in storage) some of our things.
In retrospect, as I am missing that tree, I wish that I had just put it in to storage. But what I did instead was the thing that I felt needed to be done at the time. Before committing, I consulted my darling, Mr. Boss.
"Hey.... If I donate this tree to the DI, can we... can we get a real tree next year?"
I could see the mental war going on in his head. Which was better? The fake tree that he never had to touch, or the real tree that he would end up tying to the roof of our vehicle?
"I will agree, on two conditions," he started. "First, we have to wait until the very last minute. Second, we have to get the most puny and pathetic 'Charlie Brown' tree."
Then came the war inside of my head. Is it worth it to get rid of this wonderful convenience, just so that I can have the smell of fresh pine that will accompany a future, pathetic tree?
Well, I made the hard choice and, soon after, said farewell to my old tree.

And then we mostly forgot about it. Until all things Christmas started popping up at our local retail establishments. That was when I began wondering what "waiting until the very last minute" would mean.
Once we turned the calendar to December I scanned through and decided that the 19th seemed late enough for him, yet would still give me a few days before Christmas to enjoy it. But, when I asked, Mr. Boss turned me down. He wanted to wait until Christmas Eve! (I was pretty sure I would die, and then give up hope, if I had to wait until then.)
Not long after making the request for a tree, and then being turned down, I felt like getting a tree was hopeless, and all but gave up on the idea.So... You can maybe, at this point, imagine my surprise when Mr. Boss says to me, just this afternoon, "If you get this living room in order, we can go and get a tree. ..Today."
Well, I flew from my spot on the couch, like it had suddenly caught fire, and got to work. Daylight was beginning to fade as I hurried through my work. I was making progress, but I was worried it wouldn't be "enough," or that I'd run out of time/daylight, and Mr. Boss would make me wait a little longer. But before I'd even vacuumed he was telling the children to find and put on their shoes! At that point I grabbed the vacuum and quickly passed it over the floor, and then got my own shoes.

I want you to know that I found the. perfect. tree. at the tree lot. But that dumb salesman ruined everything when he mentioned the much-less-expensive, "Charlie Brown trees". And then C, he didn't help one bit. E agreed with me on my choice of tree, but C was romanced by the idea of having his very-own, in-real-life, "Charlie Brown" tree, just like he'd seen in the Charlie Brown Christmas movie that we just returned to the library.

But a tree is a tree, and now, I've got one!Merry Christmas!

...Do you think I should point out to my dear Mr. Boss that it was kind of ironic for him to buy me a Christmas tree on his birthday...?

our trip to insta-care

2011-12-14T23:35:00.001-07:00

I was almost done cooking dinner. I had put it in the oven to bake, and was just about to wipe the table clean when I heard Z screaming. As I made my way to the doorway E came running to tell me her baby was broken, or something. I ran over to Z, who was standing by the bathroom door, and scooped him up. He looked and sounded like he was in immense pain. And that was when I saw his fingers.

C had been using the bathroom, and Z was trying to get in there, which is usual. C tried to shut the door to keep his brother out, also usual. Only, this time, Z's hand was on the door frame, near the hinges. When C shut the door (I'm assuming with some force) he crushed the last two fingers on Z's left hand. Now, I've seen fingers that have been shut in doors, but it has never looked like this. His pinky had a great indent in the center, his finger looked like it had been squished completely flat. His ring finger was indented, too. It wasn't quite as bad as his pinky, but still worse than I've seen in the past. It was scary, and it didn't help that my baby was inconsolable.

I knew Mr. Boss was on his way home, I knew he would be home soon, but I called him anyway and asked him to hurry. He told me to try to ice Z's fingers while we waited for him. When he got home he decided that we should take Z to an insta-care, and asked me to look one up. We probably weren't thinking straight, because instead of me taking Z by myself, we all went.swollen fingers and Z with his mamaWe were quickly placed in a room where we waited to be seen. Because it was a pediatric insta-care they had toys, paper and markers that were brought in to help keep the kids entertained, which was nice. Z had calmed down by then, and was playing with the toys and using his left hand. He seemed gentle and cautious in his movements, but he was wiggling his two, now very plump and swollen fingers, which was a good sign. But we were taken to get an x-ray anyway, just in case.

The good news: nothing broken.

We made it home just after 9'o'clock. Dinner was still warm in the oven, (we turned it off before we left, of course,) and we quickly ate, before sending the babes off to bed.

Before putting Z in his jammies, I got a band-aid to put on his ring finger, which is a little cut up. He was not happy about that band-aid. He hated it and wanted it off. I put a little glove on his hand, to cover the band-aid instead, and he seemed to be fine with that. Which means he is now sleeping soundly with a glove on his sad left hand.

I'm just glad he's feeling better.

learning from little ones

2011-12-12T13:25:00.000-07:00

I want to tell you a little bit about my baby girl. E has this special gift. She is full of love. She loves everything and everything is beautiful to her. Flowers are beautiful. The moon is beautiful. Animals are beautiful. Food is beautiful. Clothes are beautiful. Everything is beautiful, and she loves it all. Even people. She does not discriminate. She loves everyone. She has told me, many times, while we've been out shopping that some random person we pass is beautiful and she loves them. She is just naturally full of love. And she says so, too.
When she sees her friend, Grace, she practically jumps for joy and gives her friend a hug, which isn't always reciprocated. But she doesn't even notice.
At home she frequently talks about the people she loves. We have a Christmas card, from one of Mr. Boss's uncles, currently on display, and every time she sees it, E reminds us that those are her friends and she loves them.
Back in October, when we were talking about who she wanted to come to her birthday party, she told me she wanted her friend, Grace, and C's friend, Jack, to be there. Her reason? You guessed it, because she loves them.
So, it was no surprise to me, at our Branch Christmas party this weekend, when she declared her love to her big brother's friend.
We were at our table, eating our dinner, when Jack strolled over and reached behind E to tap C's shoulder. E said an enthusiastic “hi!” which was ignored. Not long after that, I look over to see E had draped her arm around Jack's shoulder. He just stood there. Then she said, “I love you!”
He stood there a moment longer, before shaking her arm off of himself and stating, “I don't like girls.” He then walked right past her and continued trying to talk to C.
I stifled my laughter at the exchange, and E? Why she's so happy and full of love that it didn't even phase her.

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
Mosiah 3:19

gratitude. days 24-30.

2011-11-30T16:30:00.002-07:00

Haven't really been online much these past few days, so I'm finishing my month of gratitude in one go.
I used this apple pie recipe with the cinnamon roll crust. It was quite tasty, in case you were wondering.
I am grateful...
for delicious, easy recipes.
that we have some family in CO.
for a comfortable couch.I am grateful...
for cozy beds and many blankets.
to have heat in our home.
for modern conveniences; indoor plumbing, a washer and dryer, stove, fridge, and microwave, etc.I am grateful...
for wholesome, entertaining, educational movies.
for gum.
for chocolate.I am grateful...
for adorable nieces and nephews.
for beautiful, wholesome music.
for a kitchen to clean.I am grateful...
for a vehicle that fits my family comfortably.
for long drives with my family.
for adventures and new discoveries.hair inspiration
I am grateful...
for the friends the children and I have made.
for water.
for leftovers.I am grateful...
for glasses to help me see.
that my family has enough clothing.
for the Christmas season.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm making pie.

here.

gratitude. days 22 & 23.

2011-11-23T23:33:00.001-07:00

I am grateful...
for the gorgeous weather we've had this month. (It totally makes up for the super soggy July we had.)
for sleepy hugs. Have I told you how much I absolutely adore my children and being a mother?
for my family. I'm talking about my own parents this time. And siblings. And in-laws. And aunts and uncles. I have truly been blessed with an incredible extended family. (And I miss all of them fiercely.)

I am grateful...
for reminders that I need to be better prepared to serve those around me. (You never know when you'll be needed, and there won't always be someone nearby who can jump in and save the day when you can't.)
that we get to spend a whole weekday with Mr. Boss. Hooray for holidays!
for our checker at the grocery store today. I'll tell you the story: The children were listening to music on my phone, and informed our checker of this. Of course, they referred to me as their mother. So the checker looks at me, very surprised, and says: "They're yours? I thought you were the babysitter!" You better believe I took that as a compliment.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 21.

2011-11-21T23:06:00.000-07:00

nov. 2010
I am grateful...
for flannel bed sheets.
for the quiet, middle-of-the-night moment with Z last night. He was awake when I checked on the babes, so I picked him up and held him. He just nestled right into with me, while holding tightly to his beloved puppy. It was the kind of moment that I wish would never end.
for old pictures.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 20.

2011-11-20T22:14:00.001-07:00

I am grateful...
for all of the wonderful, friendly, smiling faces at church.
for my sleepy wrap.
for my church, for the hope and peace that it brings in my life.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. days 17, 18 & 19.

2011-11-19T21:45:00.000-07:00

On Thursday, I decided to rearrange my living room/"office" space. It took the whole day, but in the end I was feeling good about how it turned out.
Yesterday was warm. We took advantage of this by having yet another picnic. It would've been a shame not to.

Today we made our first visit to a Goodwill and came away with a new entertainment center (and the most lovely new skirt for me). Which meant another living room rearrange. It has been a big mess, but our living room looks so much better.

Anyway, on to the real reason for this post...

I am grateful...
for energy and strength.
for helpful children.
for the great big window in my living room that lets in a lot of natural light.

I am grateful...
for picnics with my babies and 60 degree days in November.
that you can place things on hold at libraries, so you don't have to go searching for the stuff you want.
for Christmas lights and decorations that are popping up in neighborhoods and shopping centers. So pretty, and so fun to see the children get excited by all of the twinkles and sparkles.

that puppy is his side-kick. he hardly goes anywhere without it these days.
I am grateful...
for Goodwill and new skirts.
for fun tights.
for all of the hair on E's head that I get to play with.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 16.

2011-11-16T22:25:00.002-07:00

I am grateful...
for electricity.
for laughter and baby giggles.
for the quiet beauty of late autumn.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. days 14 & 15.

2011-11-15T23:17:00.000-07:00

aren't they silly?
I am grateful...
for the scriptures.
for funny, ridiculous movies that make Mr. Boss and I laugh like obnoxious children (which only gets us laughing more.)
for the innocence and imagination of little children.oh, how this boy loves drinking out of the fountain!
I am grateful...
for my ability to see, smell, touch, hear, taste, breath... You know, every day blessings that deserve recognition.
that I didn't get in a wreck on my way to mutual tonight. (Almost did, but was spared.)
for the kind man outside of the store who told my children that their mother is a good one. It was sweet.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. days 11, 12 & 13.

2011-11-14T22:52:00.002-07:00

I am sorry to have fallen behind on these posts. I fell asleep as I was working on day 11, was sick all day on the 12th and then I was just out of the groove, I guess. But I won't call it a fail, because I can still catch up. If nothing stops me, I'll be caught up entirely by tomorrow. But, for now, my weekend:

I am grateful...
for the way each of the children will periodically climb up onto my lap, just to be held by me.
for the way Z lights up when he hears my ring tone for, or sees his papa at the end of the day.
for all of the smiley faces E draws. They're all so happy, just like her. I am grateful...
for Mr. Boss, who took over all parental duties while I spent the day being miserable.
for naps.
for all of the libraries we have near us. We regularly visit 4-5 of them, and they each have their own charm.I am grateful...
for how brave C was as he participated in his first primary program, and said his part perfectly, all on his own. (Which, I will freely admit, made me cry. Oh, that boy!)
that I got to have my whole family at church with me. Even though he does so "grudgingly", it is always wonderful to have Mr. Boss with us.
for all of Z's puppies. He is in love with stuffed animals, dogs being his favorite, and each one has a marvelous, calming effect on him.I am also grateful for autumn, if you hadn't guessed.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 10.

2011-11-10T23:10:00.003-07:00

I am grateful...
for the warm sunny weather we were able to enjoy today.that we live by so many different parks. It is so fun to explore and discover new places.for the knowledge that I am not forgotten, that my Heavenly Father knows and loves me.
He knows and loves you, too! If you haven't yet, you should really watch this.
Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 8 & 9.

2011-11-09T21:12:00.001-07:00

Well, hi! Since I didn't get yesterdays post up I'm combining my lists for yesterday and today into one post. Fun stuff...

I am grateful...
that it didn't snow, even though it was supposed to.
for the opportunity I have to serve and teach and get to know the young women in my branch and in our sister ward.
for the quiet that comes after everyone is in bed. It is so peaceful.

I am grateful...
for sign language, which allows me to communicate with my 1-year-old, and has helped the older two with learning their letters. (It's amazing to me how useful sign language has been for us.)
for chick-fil-a. Their chicken is so tasty. And they were playing classical music today, which, along with the vases of fresh flowers on each table, makes it feel a lot less like a fast food joint. I love them.
for the relationships my children have with each other. Oh, sure, they argue and fight, but they also love each other. They play well together, and they make each other laugh. Seeing the way they interact with one another has been one of the greatest joys of motherhood.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 7.

2011-11-07T21:50:00.000-07:00

Today was a far cry from exciting. Apparently I was recovering from all of the sleep I didn't enjoy yesterday, which means I unintentionally napped away most of the day. I'm glad the children are so forgiving, because today was rough. The things I am feeling grateful for today are a little different as a result.

This is one of my favorite pictures from when it was still warm.
I am grateful...
that the children didn't cause much trouble today, though they could have.
that we didn't have any errands to run, or other obligations to tend to.
that Mr. Boss's phone charger also fits my phone, since my charger is on the fritz.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 6.

2011-11-06T22:25:00.001-07:00

I am grateful...
for Mr. Boss, for the many ways he took care of me and the children today, and for the hard work he does and the sacrifices he makes for our family every day.
for my crock-pot. (Today was a perfect day for an easy, no work dinner.)
for ginger-ale and in home laundry facilities.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 5.

2011-11-05T23:55:00.001-06:00

autumn leaves flying through the sky
I am grateful...
for the opportunity Mr. Boss and I had to get out tonight and spend time with some friends.
for the feeling that comes from a tidy home.
for the vast and silky-black nighttime sky and all of the sparkling stars.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 4.

2011-11-04T23:25:00.004-06:00

Do you like how they all match? ...I do.
I am grateful...
to be their mother, to get to spend my days with them, teaching them, learning from them, and watching as they grow (a bit too fast...).
for cookies, especially chocolate-y cookies.
for good books.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 3.

2011-11-03T10:15:00.002-06:00

I am grateful...
for the text from general conference, printed and sent to my home.
for chocolate cookie crumble and black raspberry dark chocolate chunk ice cream.
for tiny arm hugs and perfect little kisses from the one-year-old.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 2.

2011-11-02T22:05:00.002-06:00

I am grateful...
for the ability to use my hands to create things.
for a reason to cuddle under the blankets and drink hot chocolate.
that I have the strength and coordination to shovel the snow on my sidewalk.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

gratitude. day 1.

2011-11-01T20:35:00.003-06:00

If you've been around for a while, then you might remember my gratitude series that I've done during the month of November.
Well, it's November again. (Can you believe it?!) And that means it's time for my gratitude series to begin!
This month I will be posting three things I am grateful for. Everyday.
Feel free to join in, either in the comments or on your blog.
Let's get started...

I am grateful...
for a place to live.
for good health.
for beautiful sunsets.

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for?

denver zoo...lots of pictures

2011-10-29T23:22:00.001-06:00

Oh, boy. I have had these pictures uploaded for 2 days, but no opportunities to add words. Pictures need commentary! Sigh. So, here I am, putting in the commentary so that I can publish this post already, like I promised I would.

My cute babes and some big, lazy cats!

Papa set E on his shoulder for a better view of the hyenas. Z tried to stand himself, despite being buckled in, to get a better look at the Zebras and Ostriches.

Not long after we walked up to his enclosure, the polar bear on the right stood up right next to the glass, it was quite exciting, even though we were not in front of the portion of glass he stood next to. After he got down, he began pacing the length of windows, I got this shot as he passed right in front of me.

Learning about polar bears.

After the polar bears, we stopped to eat. Mr. Boss decided to take C to the reptile house while the younger two finished their lunch. It felt like they were gone forever. It was a little frustrating, but also gave me an opportunity to admire (and photograph) the plant life near our lunching spot.

There was this little fish pond full of goldfish, E and Z enjoyed watching them swim around as we continued to wait for Mr. Boss and C to return. Then we found these flowers that matched E's shirt. She loved those flowers. "They're so beautiful!" she says.

After papa and C returned we all went into the reptile house together, so that Mr. Boss could show us all of the wonderful things he and C had seen. (And he got embarrassed when I got excited over seeing a hippo...?) Z loved it in there. He kept signing "snake" (He's doing it while sitting on the snake statue above.) He would point and babble at the creatures behind the glass, and hated when we made him walk away, until he saw the next creature.

I love how close these two are, and the way they so willingly hold hands with one another.

Checking out giraffes and penguins.

Monkey island was fun. It was really an island, covered in trees, and these monkeys just hung around and climbed trees. Pelicans swam in the waters that surrounded the island.

Boss train

Z was so excited when we finally got to the gorillas. The bottom two pictures are of him pounding his chest, signing "gorilla". He always does the Tarzan call when he signs gorilla. And, yes, I am very proud of that!

The autumn leaves were absolutely beautiful, and the day was perfect for walking around the zoo. I wish these pictures did justice to the breath-taking colors, the way the light captured the edges of the leaves making the trees look, almost, aflame, or the brilliant blue of the clear afternoon sky. (It might have helped if I'd had the color setting on my camera set to "vibrant" but I prefer the way my children look when photographed on the "neutral" setting, and I always forget to change it back.)

As we were on our way to the exit I spotted these two lions, napping on a distant rock. Even though we were tired and ready to leave, we had to stop for a moment to show the children, and listen to Z growl at the lions as they slept.

Our trip to the Denver zoo was marvelous. I was quite pleased that I didn't have to struggle to push our double stroller up hills and anchor it, so it didn't go sailing down others, as I would have to do at good old Hogle zoo. I also was very excited to see a hippo at the zoo. Even though they're stinky, the hippos were always one of my favorite exhibits, and I was crushed when Hogle zoo got rid of their hippo exhibit. (And I don't care one bit if I seemed embarrassingly, childishly excited when I spotted the hippo from afar. What fun is life if you can't get excited about things?)

look at all that white stuff!

2011-10-26T15:17:00.000-06:00

Monday was such a beautiful day. Bright blue skies, 70° temperatures, beautiful autumn colors. And we were almost guilty of staying inside all day. Almost, until remembered the forecast for this week... We had to take advantage of the beautiful day, because it may have been the last of the year.
I made some sandwiches, grabbed the biggest blanket in our house, loaded up the children, and we headed to one of our favorite parks. It was so warm that we comfortably sat in the shade.

After we ate, the children played for a bit on the playground. And I took pictures of the vibrantly colored leaves.

Yesterday was quite different. It was chilly, but sunny in the morning, which quickly changed to cloudy and even colder, and eventually it began to rain. Of course, I waited until then to realize we needed to run to the store for a couple of things.
We bundled up and headed to the store only to find that everyone else had the same idea. The parking lot was packed, as was the fuel station, which we needed to use, too. We did our shopping first, and then got in line for gas, afterward we hurried home and turned on a movie and had a snack.

Before I went to bed last night, I peeked out the window and discovered that the rain had transformed. It was a mild preview of what I would see in the morning...

It has been snowing all day, the trees are overloaded with their multi-colored leaves and mounds of snow. And all I can think about is how I could sure go for a cup of Stephen's Gourmet hot chocolate.... But I haven't seen it anywhere in CO. Boo. (I welcome any and all care packages full of Stephen's hot chocolate -- and a bag of salt for my walkway -- in case anyone was itching to send a package somewhere... ;)
Such weather prompted us to stay in our jammies and watch movies today, has me fighting the urge to put on some Christmas music, and has C asking: "is papa bringing home Christmas trees?!"

....

2011-10-25T12:15:00.002-06:00

This is what happened when the children asked me to "flip your hair like a monster."
I am working on the zoo pictures for that post I promised...but there are a lot of pictures to sort through (I took over 200!) I've gotten the working total to about 90, but that's still a lot. Hopefully I'll have that post up by the end of the week. Get excited.

Zoo!

2011-10-22T18:08:00.000-06:00

I think I embarrassed Mr. Boss today, when I squealed with excitement over seeing a hippo at the zoo.
Zoo post to come.

something even better

2011-10-16T21:55:00.002-06:00

obligatory birthday-pancake photo shoot
10.15.11

"I love this three pancake!"

Last night, after a full day of birthday fun and excitement, we put E and her brothers to bed. Then, being exhausted ourselves, Mr. Boss and I quickly tidied up from the birthday mess and retired to our own bed. It was perhaps 20 minutes later, as I was nearing a beautiful state of unconsciousness, that we heard her cry. When it didn't stop, Mr. Boss kindly nudged me to signify that I ought to get up and tend to our distraught daughter.

I returned the kindness by reminding him that I'd been up late the night before, and needed to be up early in the morning, and then asked if he could just take care of this one, please. He did. As I lay there on my pillow, trying to reclaim the wonderful state I'd been pulled from, I found that I couldn't. E was still crying, and it sounded like Mr. Boss didn't quite know what to do. I thought: "Oh, alright, I'll get up."

First, I went to the kitchen to grab a cup of water, hoping that would help, but when I got to the kid's room and offered it to her, E pushed it away and continued to cry. Mr. Boss voiced his suspicion that she wasn't even fully awake. Finally I grabbed her from his arms and set her on my lap and just held her. She calmed slightly, but not entirely. Then I moved her into a cradle hold and began stroking her face. Almost immediately her cries were gone, aside from the occasional whimper.

I started to worry when she started faintly heaving and sucking on her lower lip, I thought she would hurl on me, but as I watched her I noticed something else, a darkness on her upper lip. Blood. I took her to my bed as Mr. Boss got a wet tissue for me to wipe her up with. As I cleaned her she screamed, so I stopped and simply held her.

A moment later I asked if she wanted to go back to her bed, or stay in mine. She said she wanted to be with me, so we lay down, and I pulled her close. She reached her hand up and gently touched my face before resting it on my chest. She was calmly sound asleep in no time. I lay there unable to sleep now, too busy enjoying the perfect moment I was in, when a thought came, clearly and distinctly, into my mind.

"You may not be able to run the White House, or own a fortune 500 company or your own small business, you may not even have a college degree, but you can do something that no one else can."

Writing that reminds me of the phrase/quote "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world."

I may not have a large or noticeable affect on the world, I may live and die being almost entirely unknown, and I'm okay with that, because being well known doesn't mean a life well lived. The most joy I have ever experienced, the most fulfillment I have ever felt, has been in this home with my family, with my children.

I know that, to the world, children and families are considered to be largely unimportant, they're looked on as something that will hold you back from "living your dreams," or "having an exciting life," but I know these are lies.

I know that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children."*** I know that there is nothing greater in this life than family. There is nothing more exciting, fulfilling, or exhilarating than being joined to your spouse and embarking on the adventure of parenthood.

I will admit, it isn't always easy, but it is always worth it.

three!

2011-10-15T05:13:00.008-06:00

2008

2009

20102011

Happy Birthday to my beautiful girl!!!

what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves

2011-10-11T11:55:00.000-06:00

It is something I have wanted to do for a while. So on Friday, despite the the fact that Mr. Boss did not approve, I did what I had to do. I tamed the beast that was my baby's perfectly rowdy blonde hair.

(Technically it wasn't his first haircut, but I'm going to refer to it as such, since the previous cuts didn't take much hair.)I had an idea of what I wanted to do. Mostly I wanted to clean up the back, get it off of his neck, make him less susceptible to the outrageously adorable, but hard to manage bed-head. I also wanted to, as much was possible, leave the shaggy hair on top of his head in tact.

I put on a movie, sat on the couch, and pulled a towel and the shirtless lad onto my lap. Then it began. Snip-snip and down fell the little blondie locks. (Many of which ended up in a ziploc for safe keeping.) Thanks to the movie, he wasn't super wiggly, but he did start to get a bit impatient at the end, and he kept trying to slide off my lap. But I persevered, and finally we were done.

At first, I felt a little remorse for what I had done. Suddenly my baby didn't look so much like a baby, he looked like a very big boy. But he was so irresistibly handsome that I got over the heartache pretty quickly. All that was left was the big reveal to Mr. Boss, who had no idea what I'd been up to while he was at work.

To my surprise, he noticed right away. (He was oblivious the first few times I cut C's hair, even though thought it was obvious.) Not surprisingly, he was just as upset as I had anticipated. He called me a butcher and a dream-killer. (And then he started talking about Jesus and Samson and Porter Rockwell...) But I have told him before, and will continue to tell him, of my expectations for my boys to look respectable, which includes modest haircuts.
He still disagrees, but I think he at least understands. (At least I hope he does, or he is in for years of disappointment...)

Anyway, here is the "after":

Isn't he dreamy?

A Little Princess

2011-10-07T04:48:00.001-06:00

I love the libraries here. We frequent several in our own county, and one in the adjacent county. Each one has it's own charm, and the children look forward to our library trips with anticipation.

On our most recent trip, as I was looking for Signing Time DVDs, I found something else on the shelf. I didn't actually recognize the film by the title, but I picked it up, anyway. As I read the summary on the back I recognized the story, and decided it had to come home with us.

We watched it yesterday afternoon. I was worried that the children would become bored with it after a time, but the story pulled them in, and they really seemed to enjoy it. They asked a few questions from time to time, and made observations and connections that I hadn't quite caught myself. But the very best part was E's reaction near the end.
(Spoiler after the picture. You've been warned.)

* spoiler * spoiler * spoiler * spoiler * spoiler * spoiler * spoiler *

As the wounded soldier removes the bandages from his face, and his identity is revealed to the audience, E asked, "Did her papa come back?" Then, before Sara realizes who the man in the room is, as she hides from the police and Miss Minchin, his face is shown, again, to the audience. More excitedly, E began to repeat, "Her papa is back! Sara's papa came back!"

I suppose it shouldn't have, but the fact that she recognized Sara's father, who we had not seen much of during the show, surprised me. And her joy in the reunion of father and daughter was heart-warming.

* * * * *

I love being a mother, and having the opportunity to share these moments with my children. Yesterday was especially wonderful, and I hope to remember it forever. (...Especially after the mess Miss E made in the bathroom today. Lets just say: lakes belong outside.)

* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *

"Hold your heads high, you wives, mothers, homemakers. You engender life and enrich it. Don't trade that pervasive force for fleeting, surface trinkets. Cherish it, enlarge it, magnify it. You hold a might office."
Barbara B. Smith, 10th Relief Society general president

walking away

2011-10-05T21:00:00.001-06:00

And just like that, I deactivated my Facebook account. It's a trial thing...we'll see how I feel about it in a month.
Maybe, with that distraction gone, I'll become more productive in my daily life! Maybe I'll even blog more! (Sorry I have neglected you..)

Also, the idea has just come to me, to ask you, dear reader, what you would like to see on this here blog. Is there anything in particular you would like me to write about? Inspire me, friends! You could be my online muse!

But for now? It's bed time.
Goodnight!

a cookie inside a cookie

2011-09-27T17:30:00.001-06:00

I made these a few weeks ago, I can't remember where I found them, but I suppose that's not very important...

They are super easy to make, especially if you cheat and use pre-made cookie dough, like I did.
Ingredients
-chocolate chip cookie dough
-Oreos
Completely cover the Oreo in cookie dough, (it takes about 2 TB of dough per Oreo), and place on an ungreased baking sheet.
You have to bake them a bit longer than a regular chocolate chip cookie, because there is more dough. 12-15 minutes at 350 degrees should do it, (I did mine for about 14.5 minutes.)
When they're golden brown and lovely, they're done.And they are delicious. And rich. One was almost too much to handle. Almost.

Enjoy!

quick.

2011-09-21T22:15:00.000-06:00

We had a great time in Utah, hanging out with family and friends, meeting our new nephew and cousin,isn't he sweet? and seeing our mountains again. (Oh, how we miss our mountains!)
We were busy pretty much every second of our 3 days there, and then there were the 2 long days, driving to and from. We could definitely use a vacation from that vacation... too bad life doesn't agree.On our way there we stopped at Fort Bridger in WY to have lunch and stretch our legs (for 2 hours...). There are many pictures from that stop, and several others from the rest of the trip... but I don't feel like uploading them right now, and I don't really know when I will, (so I hope you're happy with the 3 that you get!)
Anyway, sorry for the lack of posting lately. I'm just not in a blogging mood.

The end.

fear not

2011-09-04T21:26:00.000-06:00

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
How Firm a Foundation
hymn no. 85, v. 3

We live in a vicious world, a scary time. But if we put our faith and trust in God, he will protect us, He will guide us, and He will strengthen us. Through Him there is nothing to fear.

in the garden

2011-08-31T12:55:00.001-06:00

I recently found myself on the blog 52 Photos Project and I really liked it. Every week there is a new prompt, and you get to interpret it how you will. I think it's a fun idea, and that it helps give new ideas of pictures to take. Plus there is the link up, so you can be inspired by other participants photos.
Anyway, this week the prompt/challenge is a photo from the garden. Now, I don't have a garden myself, but I thought this lovely picture that was taken on my Saturday morning walk was perfect for this. So here it is:

And I have to say, the thing that makes me happiest about it is that it was taken on my phone. I guess it's true that the camera isn't really what matters (although I'd still love a big fancy one, because they look like fun..) rather, it's knowing how to use your device, the light around you, and so on.

Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.

2011-08-29T12:00:00.000-06:00

We have been making some wonderful friends in our branch since moving here. We've met the Carney family and then there is the Tweeddale family, both families are pretty fabulous.
The Tweeddale's have two little girls, Gracie is a couple of months younger than E and baby Kayla is 9 months. And they are cuties. Their mom, Krystal is such a kind person. We had an instant connection when we met, and also discovered that we were both attending our branch for the first time on the same day (that was about 3 months ago! Can you believe it's been so long?!) Awesome.
Anyway, I was planning to make tacos for dinner last night, and it's a meal that I always want to share, so I asked Krystal and her husband, Tad, if they would like to come over. I'm so glad they said yes. Well, Tad actually didn't make it, because he got sick just before they were going to leave, so it was just Krystal and they girls.
Mr. Boss and I had to do some cleaning and rearranging, because our kitchen isn't really big enough to accommodate guests. We cleared the living room floor, moved the couch back, and pulled our table in.

This wonderful nerdiness occurred as we were cleaning up.
I love him!

It was perfect. And the food was delicious, as usual. (I make an amazing taco, if I do say so myself.)

Afterward the kids played together. They wound up on the bed jumping up and down, they were having a blast. And Z thought it looked pretty fun, so he joined in. He tried out being a big boy, first, standing on his own on the unsteady bed, then he moved over to the wall for some support as he bounced. A few minutes before they left, I brought out the 2 tutus I've made for E, and put one on each girl. They were so thrilled, which made them super willing to pose for this perfect picture. I love it! Aren't these girls adorable?! Also, I just loved how the tutus we have perfectly matched what each girl was wearing.
We had a lot of fun with our new friends, and we are so excited to continue to get to know the lovely people who we've met.

title here.
(I l♥ve James Taylor.)

early mornings

2011-08-26T18:35:00.001-06:00

So, a couple of weeks ago I decided it was high time I started some sort of exercise routine. Basically, I was pretty embarrassed with how winded I got on my walk from the parking lot to the chapel at church. Pathetic.

Monday, August 15

I made the choice to pull my lazy self out of bed around 5 every morning, so I could start running. It has ended up that I can't pull myself from bed until 5:20, but that has worked out fine. My first day was Friday, the 12th of August. I meant to go the next day, but didn't. Then Sunday came, and I don't believe in working out on Sundays. But I committed myself to getting up Monday morning, and I did it! I ran 6 days last week, and I was out M-W and today for this week. (Plus, I plan to be out tomorrow. The Saturday outings are the best, because I don't have a time limit.)

Tuesday, August 16

There is something so peaceful about being out so early in the morning. It is cool and quiet, and even though I'm breathing heavily, and working my body, it's relaxing and energizing. There is something magical about watching the first rays of the new day sun spread their light. I can't really think of a better way to start my day than by being out before most people have woken up, and seeing and experiencing things that few others see.

Thursday, August 18Friday, August 19

On Saturday I woke up a little later. I think I was out by about 7, and I went the route I had earlier that week. I was listening to some music to help motivate me, and when I was stretching after returning home a song came on that really energized me. So, I decided to go for a walk. I headed out the door with my 5 lb weights in my hands and headed across the street to the park.This park is kind of cool, in that it has a stream running through it, and a walkway alongside it that extends past my little park. So I walked that trail. I had given myself a distance limit, and when I reached it I was so surprised. I still had plenty of energy. I was about to keep going, but I checked the time first. It was about 8:15, and I realized the kids would wake up soon, and there would be trouble if I wasn't home by then. So, I hustled back, all the while expecting to get a call or text from the Boss asking where I was, and making sure I wasn't dead in a ditch.I made it back just as the children were stirring, and the Boss was still oblivious to the world. It was a beautiful morning. (And I very much hope that tomorrow is the same.)

Saturday, August 20

On Wednesday I lengthened my run by quite a bit, and then I went even farther today. I'm not actually sure how far I have been running, though. The blocks here aren't the same size as they are back home. And I haven't downloaded an app that could track that sort of thing on my phone, because they all say they modify & delete sd storage, and that makes me nervous.

Monday, August 22

Now, I hear that when you work out regularly you experience some extra energy throughout the day. I didn't realize when I started that the energy wouldn't come right away. I have all the energy I need for my morning runs, but I'm pretty useless after about 11 am. When I started asking around I got the answer that it takes about a month to feel more normal. I'm two weeks in, so hopefully I have a little more energy by the end of another 2 weeks.

Friday, August 26

Also, even though I feel exhausted all day, I feel like my days are running a little smoother with my early morning wake ups. I think it helps that I'm already awake when the children wake up, instead of being woken up by someone screaming or shouting or pounding on the door/wall. I didn't make it out yesterday morning, and the whole day was basically ruined after that. I guess I'm still a morning person, after all!

and every time you look at me it’s just the way it all should be.

2011-08-25T15:20:00.003-06:00

It was a cool August morning. Mostly clear, with a few gray clouds scattered about, threatening rain. There was a nervous anticipation in the air. It was the kind of day that would change lives forever.I woke up early, eager, with a hint of second thoughts. What was I getting myself into? I got dressed and woke my aunt, who had offered to do my hair for me. I worried we would be late, we were supposed to meet just before 11. Finally we were on our way. By the time we arrived my heart was in my throat and I contemplated, for a quick moment, if I should just have my aunt take me some place else, anywhere but there.
Then I saw him.I felt immediately calmed and even more anxious in the same moment.
The ceremony was quick and simple, complete with a surprise. I thought I would only have my engagement band, but Mr. Boss had been keeping a secret. I was confused at first, and then flustered, as he popped open the box that held my wedding band. I'm sure I shook as he slid it onto my finger. My heart was pounding, and I could feel my face warming as I blushed.And then it was done, just like that. The papers were signed and I was married. Married to the boy I met at a chocolate store. Married to the boy who can make me laugh better than anyone else. Married to the boy who knew me during my darkest times, and who helped to bring out the light. Married to my first and only love.The last 5 years have flown by, and felt like forever at the same time.

It hasn't always been easy. Things have changed, our little family has grown, jobs have been lost, and new ones found. But, through all the good, all the bad, and everything in between, I wouldn't have wanted anyone else by my side on this adventure.

1 family vacation
(not including camping)
2 states
3 children
4 cars
5 years
6 homes
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

title
from
here

preview

2011-08-24T23:37:00.003-06:00

taken Saturday morning
I have some things I want to write about, but my computer is slow, and I shouldn't be up this late. Maybe I will get to it tomorrow? No promises.
Tomorrow is the 5th anniversary of the day Mr. Boss and I were married! We don't have any plans, but it will be a lovely day nonetheless! (or else... ;)

picnic in the park

2011-08-12T09:25:00.001-06:00

Yesterday we invited some friends over for a picnic in the park. When everyone was here, we walked across the street, and found a nice, shady area next to the play ground.
We sat ourselves down on the blankets and got to eating and chatting. It was wonderful. This is the kind of thing that I wish I did more often. (And we have been. This was our second picnic this week!)munching on lunch, Z and Lucas check out the Frisbee
The children enjoyed running around on the playground, and eventually took to hunting squirrels. It was very serious work, the 3 big kids stood around a tree with their hunting sticks and waited for their victim. (Note: no squirrels were harmed during the squirrel hunt.)nerdy E, C and his buddy Jack
The little boys enjoyed playing with Peanut, the funny looking chihuahua. They took turns grabbing at him, petting him, crawling after him. It was a good time for the two doggy-loving, 1-year-old gentlemen.E shares a snack with Z, Z found Peanut
Finally, Z got a hold of the raisins, and he chowed down on as many as he could. And then he screamed at me when I tried to take the bag away. Moral of the story: don't take food from a fat kid. (But I did anyway, because I'm the mom and I'm the Boss.)hogging the raisins
Our fun day in Conrad's words: We had a picnic, and then we were diggin' in the dirt. I was diggin' in the dirt with Jack. And then I went and had some raisins and some cookies.
I had a good time and then I throwed somethin'. Jack picked up a big rock and throwed it right in the slide. I throwed some dirts in the slide, because Jack didn't find me a big rock, in the dirt. Then I throwed somethin' at Jack.
And then I had a stick and then I wowbed it, and then it touched the squirrels tail. I was huntin' squirrels with my big stick. I catchded that squirrel. I had a happy day because I throwded the stick, and now the squirrel is sad when I throwded the stick at him. And then we had a little rest.
Then we went home, Jack went home with us, he went to our home. Then we raceded cars, and mine got on Jacks head, it was drivin' and then it went thmp and landed on Jacks head, and that was a bad day. Then I said it's okay, and I said sorry.
When I was drivin' my armored truck and then it flip and then flied and then pomg right on the head. It was a mean day after I did that.
I had a little talk with Jack, when we were trying to race with cars, and then we bumped with pillows, we were runnin' and runnin' and runnin' and bomp! Then Jack went home.

Don't give up.

2011-08-08T15:25:00.001-06:00

It's been a while since I shared a Sunday though, but I want to share one today. Sure, I'm a day late, but this is a powerful message that I think can apply to anyone.
(If you're currently struggling with something, and even if you're not, you just might want to have a tissue or two handy...)

"Every one of us has times when we need to know things will get better. ...For emotional health and spiritual stamina, everyone needs to be able to look forward to some respite, to something pleasant and renewing and hopeful, whether that blessing be near at hand or still some distance ahead. It is enough just to know we can get there, that however measured or far away, there is the promise of 'good things to come.'”

"Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed."

“Don’t give up... Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead... You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come."

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “An High Priest of Good Things to Come”

finding joy in the journey #1

2011-08-05T08:42:00.001-06:00

The other day we were out running errands. We were all over the place. First we checked out a bread outlet place that a friend from church told me about and we went to check it out (it was awesome.) Then we took a round about drive to get ourselves to a Costco where I spent too much money. (Costco, I love you, but you're evil.)
It was the time of day when I should have been getting started on dinner, but I still needed to run to King Soopers (it's like Smith's). Just before we got home to drop off the Costco load, it started to rain. I wasn't planning on getting the kids out, anyway, but it wasn't exactly pleasant to unload all of those groceries with the downpour that was going on at the moment we pulled up. But, I got everything in and put away, hopped back in the car, and off we went to the store.
I was starting to feel irritated. I've been so bad about getting out to do errands earlier in the day, and the children and I can get pretty grumpy in the afternoon. On top of that, there was the thought that I was going to have to run through a downpour to get myself and all three children into the store at once. It had me feeling unhappy about my day. But, as we got closer to the store, the rain started to thin out, and then it stopped completely. Instead of rain, I saw a bright rainbow staring at me.
I don't know about you, but for me a rainbow is an instant mood-lightener. They also make me want to take pictures. And, when I couldn't get a decent shot from the Sooper's lot, I drove next door to the Target lot, where I found these lovely yellow flowers that perfectly framed my happy rainbow. Sure, this extra drive through the parking lot, plus the couple of minutes out of the car to take pictures, had us out even longer, but...I think it was worth it.

What do you think?

morning beauty

2011-07-22T08:40:00.001-06:00

It's not very often that I am up this early. But I got a present for being up. Mr. Boss had just walked out the door to leave for work, but he came back and asked me to come look at something.This crafty spider had built this amazing web sometime last night, using the back the Boss's work truck.Highlighted by the rising sun, it was an incredible sight to see.We watched as two, pesky, unsuspecting little bugs flew right into the web. That spider was quick, he didn't waste a second wrapping them up, and then moving back to the center of the web to patiently wait as they ripened.Unfortunately for that little spider, Mr. Boss had to leave for work, pulling away part of the web as he went.But that spider didn't miss a beat, and set to work repairing the web, and ensuring his breakfast was secure. It was an incredible thing to witness. Even as one who is not fond of the 8-legged creepers.
Good Morning!

what's for dinner :: tater-tot casserole

2011-07-19T16:00:00.001-06:00

rain, rain, go away!

2011-07-13T22:25:00.019-06:00

In the weeks leading up to our move, we dealt with some unpleasant weather. It was such a rainy spring! And that is alright with me. Spring should be wet, you know, for the flowers. It just makes it hard to want to do things, because it's cold and, well, wet. It was even rainy (and snowy!) on the morning that we drove out.Z, enjoying today's stormIt was a happy thing to arrive in warm, sunny Colorado. We thought we were saying goodbye to the rain. But it turns out we were wrong. Very wrong. (You know that saying about when you assume something?)

Instead of a sunny summer, it has been a

wet, rainy, dreary summer.Today we got hail!

I grew up in a place where it was not unusual to go a full summer month with little to no rain. And even though it is horribly unpleasant and hotter than that place I won't mention...(you know...Arizona**...(just kidding AZ friends!) ha..) that is what is familiar. That is what I am used to. That is what summer is.
Basically, I am writing this post to tell you...I feel like I'm being gypped out of summer. I am not a summer fan, but here I am, wishing for the summers that I'm used to. Or, at the very least, weather that is more fitting for the summer season.he is such a silly guyPlus, did I mention? The storms here can get pretty scary. Every time gray clouds roll in you can be sure there will be lightening. And lightning brings thunder. And some of that thunder has been loud, house-shaking, window-rattling, like I've never before experienced, loud. And the lightning... There is so much lightning. And it's dangerous! And monsoon-y...and I have 3 kids! Which means we don't go anywhere when it gets crazy-stormy. (read: We rarely leave the house.)lightning and the ever-changing creek
I love, really and truly love, a good summer rain storm. But this every day business has got me a little burned out. Maybe it wouldn't bother me so much if we actually managed to get out once in a while. (That's my own fault, though. If I could just get to a point where I could be ready to leave the house by 10 am, we'd be fine. That, or..) I need to come up with some activities to beat the rainy-day dreariness.

What is something you like to do when the storm clouds roll in?

I blew up the pool my mom sent for C's birthday,
and let them play in it
in their room.
Z loved it!
(They all loved it.)
...now I'm out of ideas...
Help!

**I am perfectly aware that AZ summers
are much hotter than UT summers.

my "done" list

2011-07-11T23:29:00.010-06:00

This is from the 8th. Still not walking, though.
Sometimes, at the end of the day, it's good to list the things you got done. Especially if you felt like the day wasn't all that productive. Like today, I probably spent too much time on my phone. But, even though it doesn't look like it, I also got quite a bit done.

1. I did 3 loads of laundry:
a. bedding, which got put back on the beds when it was done.
b. My darks. (I never thought it would happen, but I finally became the kind of person who separates whites and darks. This may not seem like much, but it's a big deal to me..) They got put away.
c. My whites. They are currently in the dryer, and will get put away tomorrow, because I don't want to disturb my sleeping husband.

2. I did the dishes. Twice. I'm just amazed at how many dishes we use here. And there is another bunch waiting to be cleaned, but the Boss wanted to watch a movie, so those dishes will wait until morning.

3. I read my scriptures. Before dinner, even. (Both of these, sadly, are a big deal for me. I failed to read for a week and, when I actually do read, it is after everyone is in bed, and then I stay up too late. So, yeah. Big deal.)

4. I swept and "mopped" the kitchen floor. (I say "mopped" because I don't have a mop. I just sprayed the floor with cleaner and "skated around" on a towel. And I only did this because we have an ant problem. But it got done.)

5. I got dressed! It's maybe a little sad that this is an accomplishment, but whatever. Hey, I even put on an apron!

6. I had dinner on the table before 7. (Another thing I've struggled with lately...)

7. We had Family Home Evening. (Yet another struggle. Let's just say it's been a while. But my babes were sure excited when I called them to the table to get started. Hopefully remembering that will make it easier to get back in the habit.)

8. Did the night time routine and got my babes to bed, by myself, before 9. (The Boss worked late. Boo.)

You know, I don't like, or do very well with, "to do" lists. But I do like this "done" list. Give it a try. What have you done today?Tonight's sunset reflected in a puddle outside my home.

C is four!

2011-07-05T22:30:00.000-06:00

It has been four years since I held my first baby in my arms.
It has been four years since I became a mother.
It has been four years since our lives changed in ways that I cannot describe.
C is four-years-old. It happened so fast and I, unfortunately, have not yet discovered the magical serum that will stop time. So my heart will continue to grow and break and grow. And this boy will keep growing, too.Me: "C, will you stop growing for me? Just for five minutes?"
C: "No!"
Me, whiny: "But why?"
C, whiny: "Because I want to be big! And be a papa!"
Me: "Oh, alright..."2007Favorites:

Color:
Red and blue.
Sport:
Soccer and baseball.
Best Friends:
Bella, Nathan and Jack.
Movie:
Kung Fu Panda and Baby Signing Time and Pinky & the Brain and Rescuers, too.
Song:
O Babylon (Ye Elders of Israel).2008Cereal:
Green and pink (apple jacks).
Food:
Noodles.
Holiday:
My birthday, with ducky cupcakes.
Activity:
Celebrate my birthday. (What is something you like to do when it's not your birthday?) Play with a fire truck. A little one.
Trip we've taken:
To the mountains to see some elks!2009Future:

What do you want to be when you grow up?:
Be a fire chicken (work at the wing coop) and eat all my food and have 2 sisters.
How old do you want to be when you get married?:
4 and 3 and 2 and 9. (You mean 18?) 18 and 4. (So, I guess 22?)
How many kids do you want to have?:
4 kids and 3 kids and 1 kids and 2 kids. (10? Apparently he wants as many as I do!)2010What color hair do you want your wife to have?:
White hair or blue hair or brown hair or black hair or red hair or green hair. (He's not picky...)
If you could buy one thing in the whole wide world, what would it be?:
Paper towels (and diapers and shirts, and flag shirts.)
What was your favorite birthday present?:
A elephant card.
Where is one place you want to go so bad?:
On the mountains.2011Grandma R: "How did you get to be four?"
C: "Because I ate four pancakes!"

Happy Birthday, C!
I love you!

I borrowed the birthday survey
from my dear friend
Alexa.

Z's birthday

2011-06-23T09:15:00.000-06:00

I was thinking, since Z has been one for a week now, that I should share some of the pictures I took on his special day.

We went to the park for a 12-month photo shoot:

This is what he does when he sees a dog.Checking out the creek.He loves to swing!The sunset was gorgeous!

After that we came home for dinner. Then came the cake:

Papa gave Z his tiny birthday cake, and helped Z blow out the candle.
(If you think that candle looks a bit worn out, you would be right.
This is the same candle that my nephew used on his first birthday,
followed by C, then my niece, then E and now Z!
We did miss one cousin between E and Z,
but 4 out of 5 is pretty good.)I hardly had a chance to get Z's shirt off,
before he tore into that little cupcake.
It was heaven for him.Of course, he needed a bath after that.
If there is one thing my boy loves as much as his own cupcake,
it's being in the bath.
(And wiping his slimy fingers on whatever surface he can reach!)

I think Z had a pretty excellent birthday, but it's still weird for me to think that he's already one year old! Even so, I'm excited for the adventures to come. ...Just as long as the fake-crying stage passes quickly. (Oh, it is hilarious and adorable. For now... But it's not something I want to become a habit!)

Utah to Colorado: the drive

2011-06-21T13:05:00.001-06:00

Memorial day was a long day for us. It is not easy to be stuck in a car, especially when you are little. Happily, the children slept for a good chunk of the drive.
And now, without further ado, a condensed re-cap of our drive from Utah to Colorado:1. On our way!
2. They are tired, maybe a little confused, but also excited!
3. Last look at the valley and...
4. Into the canyon we go.5. Cold...
6. Snowy...
7. Awesome rock formations...
8. And they fell asleep. (Yay!)He sleeps funny.9. Peek-a-boo!
10. Train.
11. Still stormy...
12. Finally a break, and some blue sky!Hot chocolate, because I was freezing.13. "Wy-boring" as Mr. Boss refers to it.
14. Some historical marker..
15. Continental Divide Road.
(This is where I started my turn driving,
which meant I didn't get a picture when we crossed the actual divide.)
16. Leaving Laramie.
(We stopped for lunch and leg stretching in Laramie,
but I'm awesome and didn't get any pictures of that! Whoops...)17. Road trips are...fun...?
18. Cool rock formations.
19. Tree growing out of a rock.
20. Buford, WY, pop. 1 (no joke.)Abe Lincoln's head...?21. We saw so many windmills.
22. Getting closer...
23. Cool, grumpy clouds.
24. The storm we missed (thank goodness!)25. Sorry I gave this picture twice...but I'm too tired to fix it.
26. The Rockies!
27. Denver: 83 miles
28. Beautiful.29. Passed out again.
30. But not this guy.
(He started to get pretty grumpy around this point.
Being in a car all day is not easy for a small and very active baby.)
31. Denver: 47 miles
32. Another shot of the Rockies.33. Blue Skies..
34. Hey! Is that the city?!
35. It is the city!
36. Hello, Denver!Giant seahorse bush..37. Downtown!
38. Hey, C, we're in Colorado!
(He had just woken up, and was quite happy to have made it.)
39. Amusement park in the city.
40. And Bronco Stadium.
So, I thought the Boss was being silly when he found a way to move our things and still drive out in the van with the family (thus limiting the driving I did.) But it turns out that I'm really glad he was there with me. I only drove a for a short time and it was scary! Wyoming is so windy, and I was pretty much white knuckled until I stopped the car at a park in Laramie.

It took us about 10 hours to get here, but we made it safe and sound. I have been busy, busy trying to get things put away, but I figured it was about time to start catching up on my posting, and to share some of the adventures we've had since we got here, so look forward to those!

he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows

2011-06-19T11:00:00.001-06:00

The plan of salvation could not be brought about without an atonement. “Therefore God himself atoneth for the sins of the world, to bring about the plan of mercy, to appease the demands of justice, that God might be a perfect, just God, and a merciful God also.”

The atoning sacrifice had to be carried out by the sinless Son of God, for fallen man could not atone for his own sins. The Atonement had to be infinite and eternal―to cover all men throughout all eternity.

Through His suffering and death, the Savior atoned for the sins of all men. His Atonement began in Gethsemane and continued on the cross and culminated with the Resurrection.

“Yea, … he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father.”

Through His Atonement, He heals not only the transgressor, but He also heals the innocent who suffer because of those transgressions. As the innocent exercise faith in the Savior and in His Atonement and forgive the transgressor, they too can be healed.

There are times when each of us needs “relief from feelings of guilt that come from mistakes and sins.” 14 As we repent, the Savior removes the guilt from our souls.

Through His atoning sacrifice, our sins are remitted. With the exception of sons of perdition, the Atonement is available to everyone all the time, no matter how large or small the sin, “on conditions of repentance.”

C. Scott Grow

Read the full article here.

All images are old and from the photo blog I used to keep.

birthday pancakes

2011-06-15T10:55:00.000-06:00

(aka my favorite birthday tradition)
(the children like it, too)

cielo soffiò ogni tromba e corno suonato ogni sulla splendida, meravigliosa notte che tu nascessi.*

2011-06-15T08:46:00.019-06:00

The birth story I've been meaning to share for a year...

June 14, 2010: C and I went to Babies'R'Us for some last minute purchases. I felt fine all day, but I couldn't help but wonder at how funny it would be if baby "porcupine" came sometime the next day, after I'd been out running errands the day before.

I started to feel a bit off as the afternoon eased into early evening. I wasn't in pain, or uncomfortable, but something felt different. I wondered...By the 9'o'clock hour I was still unsure, but I was more convinced than I had been a few hours prior. Even so, I didn't want to get my hopes up.

quiet night
June 14, 2010

I stayed up too late that night. As midnight approached I had a decision to make: take a shower, or hope that it was real, and try to get as much sleep as I could before the party started. I chose sleep.

June 15, 2010, approx. 3am: It is a good thing I chose sleep, because I woke up to use the bathroom and, well, I'll spare the details. But at that point, I knew it really was time. I didn't know how long it would be, though, so I didn't bother to wake Mr. Boss. Instead, I tried to go back to sleep.
I turned this way. I turned that way. Each uncomfortable surge pulled me away from sleep. That dance lasted, maybe, an hour. Oh, I see. This is happening now.
I woke Mr. Boss to let him know what was up. He immediately jumped up, asking if we needed to blow up the pool? if I have called the midwife? ...he was ready for action. Then he started to blow up the pool, anyway. Might as well have it ready, I guess. (And, can I just say, I love Mr. B's reaction when I tell him a baby is coming. Priceless!)
Instead of calling my midwife, I first texted my mom (she was working that night, so she was up) and asked for her expert opinion. (She did have 8 babies, after all.) All along, though, I knew I just needed to listen to my body.

Somewhere between 5-6am: I called my midwife to give her a heads up. She asked how I was feeling, and how quickly the contractions were coming, and how long they lasted. I told her, and she sounded unhurried by my response.
During my labor with E, contractions were coming similarly to the ones I was having when I decided it was time to go to the hospital (and she was born within an hour of arriving), and I explained this to her. Well, I tried to explain this to her, but I was kind of groggy and ready to get into the pool. She said she'd be about an hour.
Mr. Boss was being a busy little bee, and had the pool inflated and filled with enough warm water to suit my needs. (And he had more warming on the stove, since our water didn't stay warm enough to fill the pool.) I gingerly stripped, and climbed in. Oh! The water was wonderful! (Seriously, even if you don't ever do a home or water birth, at least labor for a bit in some water, it is amazing!)
I went for a squatting position, with my arms draped over, and my head resting on, the edge of the pool. This was when time really began to get away from me.
I could breathe through each contraction, and they became a bit more intense with each one. As soon as one would end, I would relax, and rest my head. I was so tired, so I would shut my eyes and begin to drift off to sleep...until another contraction began a couple of minutes later.
I believe it was around 6:30am when Mr. Boss called his mother. We had planned to have her take C and E for the birth, and for the day, to help make the day less crazy.
Vivian and Heather (midwife and midwife assistant) arrived around 7. Heather arrived first, then my mother-in-law, and then Vivian. Though I can't tell you how I know, because I was a little busy/distracted by then.
During one particular contraction, Vivian ran her hand down my spine, as a way to help me visualize and be aware of what my body was working towards, and the direction I needed to focus my attention on. That particular contraction? Didn't hurt one single bit. It was the most amazing contraction ever. (I only wish every other contraction could have been so wonderful.)The kids were still sleeping, so Mr. Boss and his mom sat in the living room for a bit. Mr. Boss really liked that he could leave my alone and know that I was taken care of (he doesn't trust the people at the hospital that much) and it helped things to be less overwhelming for him.
I continued to labor in the pool, falling asleep between contractions, trying to answer little questions, and beginning to feel the need to do a little more than breathe during contractions.
I was never checked, which thrills me to no end (it's the most uncomfortable part, and so very unnecessary!) But my midwives did instruct me on how I could "check" for myself. That was weird and cool, and different. Baby was getting closer!

The children were not awake by 8 and, in retrospect, I kind of (really) wish we would have just left them, and they could have met their new sibling before heading off with grandma for the day. But this was when Mr. Boss and his mother went and woke them, and took them to the car. They visited for a bit longer after that, but at 8:30 my midwives realized that the time had come, and Mr. Boss was called to be in the room with me.

8:30 am: I change from a squatting position to a slanted/laying position, with my back supported by the side of the pool. As soon as I changed I had a vicious contraction, and wanted to go back to how I had been before, but I couldn't, for fear of bringing another awful contraction. I had Mr. Boss on my left and Vivian on my right, each holding a hand, as I felt that, without them, I might slip beneath the water and drown.
I was tired and nearing the end.
With each contraction, I began to push/bear down. It was the only thing that "eased" my discomfort. Plus, I kind of couldn't help it at that point.
This went on for a few minutes. After each contraction I noticed that my hands felt tingly, because I wasn't getting enough oxygen, but my contractions were pretty much right on top of each other. I tried to inhale deeply, but that was not an easy thing to do, and I was exhaling more than I was able to inhale.
8:38am: My water broke as I was pushing. The big moment was that much closer. Then it happened. The "ring of fire" which supposedly only lasts as long as the head passes through, but lasts, for me, until baby is out. But this is where it got...fun... (not really.)

(Every time I am informed that the baby's head is out, it's kind of a let down. It feels like that part takes forever, and surely I got the whole baby out with the effort that I've been making, and isn't the rest of the baby supposed to just slip right out behind the head?! Yeah, no.)

This time was even more "fun", because nothing happened after the head was out. I waited for a contraction to come, I couldn't continue without one, and where was it? And, gosh, this is really unpleasant, and remember how I said the burning lasts until the whole baby is out? I finally couldn't take it anymore, and I start trying to push anyway, hoping it would bring on another contraction. Heather helped my efforts by guiding (but more like pulling) the baby out of me, which finally brought on that final contraction, followed by the relief, and the heaviest little weight being set in my arms, and Mr. Boss repeating over and over "It's a boy! We have another boy!" And even though I had been hoping for another girl, to hear we had a boy just sounded so right. And I just sat there in the water, with this baby in my arms, realizing what I had just accomplished and wondering why this boy felt so heavy, and hoping that none of my future babies get stuck like he did, because that was the most unpleasant thing to have ever experienced.Really, my mind was going a million miles a minute, but not to the point where I couldn't ask the time of birth. 8:46 am. That's about 5 hours and 46 (or so) minutes after I woke up to discover it was "time". And that makes me happy (especially after the 33.5 hour time span between my water breaking and C being born.)That morning brought a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, plus the exhaustion that comes with the work.
Now, one year later, I don't feel that kind of exhaustion, but I am experiencing a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. It has been one year since that incredible morning.

It has been one year since my barrel-chested, 9lb 9oz boy entered this world
One year ago he seemed huge, and now he's even bigger.
One year ago his hair was dark and shaggy, now it is blonde and...shaggy.
One year ago he was brand new and helpless, now he is a strong-willed little stinker and the speediest crawler I've ever seen.
One year ago he radiated pure love. He still does today.

♥Happiest 1st Birthday, my little Porcupine!♥♥Thanks for choosing me to be your mama.♥

*heaven blew every trumpet
and played every horn
on the wonderful, marvelous
night you were born.
from: this beautiful book.

under one, no more

2011-06-14T23:31:00.010-06:00

At 8:46 tomorrow morning my children will officially be 1, 2, and 3.
It makes me giggle a little, but,
mostly, it makes me sad that the 1 is already a 1.June 9th
The perk? He is such a cheeser these days, and I love it.
I don't so much love the mischief (like pulling movies off the shelf),
or the laying-on-the-floor tantrums (yep, he does that.)June 13th
But I really do love his handsome little face and his ocean eyes.
(And those juicy lips! And soft, creamy skin!)
This boy has my number...June 14th

where was I?!

2011-06-08T08:15:00.000-06:00

When did this tiny, dark haired baby...

...turn into this huge, blonde kid?!

...I love him...

drift into dreamland

2011-06-07T09:23:00.000-06:00

He insists on cuddling something to help him get to sleep. Sweet, funny boy.

**We're getting settled in, which is a lot of work! Hoping to get the computer all set up soon, then there will be no more phone blogging for me. Yay...

two scriptures that stuck out to me recently...

2011-06-05T16:45:00.002-06:00

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
2 Cor. 4:17-18

...know thou, my [child], that these things shall give three experience, and shall be for thy good.
The Son of Man hath descended below them all all. Art thou greater than He?
...fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.
D&C 122:7-9

little boy blue

2011-05-28T13:32:00.001-06:00

He's in the great, big, empty room. Fast asleep.

We can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us.

2011-05-22T11:00:00.002-06:00

At times it may seem that our trials are focused on areas of our lives and parts of our souls with which we seem least able to cope. Since personal growth is an intended outcome of these challenges, it should come as no surprise that the trials can be very personal—almost laser guided to our particular needs or weaknesses.

A pattern in the scriptures and in life shows that many times the darkest, most dangerous tests immediately precede remarkable events and tremendous growth. “After much tribulation come the blessings.”

In the midst of problems, it is nearly impossible to see that the coming blessings far outweigh the pain, humiliation, or heartbreak we may be experiencing at the time. “No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

Not one of the trials and tribulations we face is beyond our limits, because we have access to help from the Lord. We can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” (Romans 8:35, 37)

Paul V. Johnson

colorado bound

2011-05-21T21:20:00.002-06:00

This is for anyone who hasn't heard, or anyone who has heard, but wants more details.

First, a little back story, I think...

Back in August, Mr. Boss lost his job. He'd been there for about 3 years, and suddenly he wasn't. It was a frustrating time. He went about a month where he was searching for work. Finally he got a part time job at a car dealership and, a couple of weeks later, he found a second part time job at a little fast-food-ish restaurant specializing in chicken wings.I have had a hard time as he's been working these two jobs, because he has been gone so much. On the days that he worked both jobs, he would leave by quarter to 7, come home between 2:15-2:30, then leave at quarter to 4, returning home between 10:15-10:45ish. It has been difficult, but we have been making it.Of course, this isn't something that we wanted to be doing long-term. Mr. Boss has been looking for a full-time job, but the job market is pretty ridiculous. He felt that he needed to do something to better our situation. He needed to find some marketable skill, because being a hard worker isn't always enough. Oh, and it had to be something he would enjoy. (Read: working with his hands, bonus if it's something artistic.)This is when we began to seriously consider an option that some of his brothers have talked about, but none have been in the position to do... There is a school in Colorado that teaches a skill that Mr. Boss is interested in learning, and that opens the door for a few career options. The skill he will be learning? Gunsmithing.Z is excited!So, after seriously considering this option and praying (and praying and praying) about it, we decided to go for it. Mr. Boss applied to and was accepted at the school. Which means we are relocating our family to Colorado! The catch? He doesn't actually start school until next year. But we've decided to move out there now, a year early, so that we have a chance to get settled and acclimated. Neither of us have ever lived in another state, so this is exciting and nerve-wracking, and kind-of, very scary.I love Z's face in this one!At this point, most of our house is packed up in boxes. I had some wonderful friends from high school who came by yesterday, and another group of friends from church who came by today, to help me pack and clean. So, huge thanks to those ladies! (...If any of them are reading this...)
Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!!Can I just say, it is so, so, so very difficult to find a place in another state when you don't have the luxury of driving out and looking for one. For about 3 months I have been sifting through ads on craigslist, but we were having zero luck. It is not easy to have so many failures when you feel so very strongly that you are supposed to do something. But we didn't give up. I looked at new postings everyday, and I can't even tell you how many places we called on. At least two of them seemed fishy after getting a hold of the contact in the ad. It was discouraging, to say the least.Then the idea came to me, to look up a bishop in the area we were hoping to live in, give him a call, and ask if he knew of anything in his area or anybody who could help us find something. The first bishop I contacted gave some helpful information, but it didn't get us anything. I waited a bit to contact another. The second bishop gave us a few names and numbers, he even had a guy call us! The conversation that followed seemed to be very promising, but ended out being another dead end.A few days later, I tried the other two numbers we'd gotten. The first one went to a machine, so I tried the second. A woman picked up the other line, Brittney had a bright, bubbly, friendly voice, which made everything she said that much more painful to hear. She told me everything I didn't want to hear. "Denver is a hard place to rent right now, places are being scooped up as soon as they're made available." "You're going to be hard pressed to find what you're looking for, in your price range, in a decent area." "The best thing for you to do is to come out here, drive around for a day or two, and see if you can find something that way." And on, and on, and on. And then, to top it off, she told me (a native Utahn) that she hated Utah, because everyone here is fake and plastic, and out in Denver everyone is "real". Oh boy. I won't lie, I looked forward to never speaking with her again.And then, one day at the store, my phone rang. It was Brittney. I answered, and she told me something that changed our lives. She said she'd just been talking with a lady who was renting a place, it was what we wanted, for the price we wanted, and it's right across the street from a park. She gave me the woman's name and number, and suggested we call immediately. Then she apologized. "When she told me what she was renting it for, I was shocked! I told her she should be getting at least $500 more for it, so you should hurry and call, and hopefully she hasn't just raised the rent!" Wow, thanks, Brittney. I called Mr. Boss as soon as I was done speaking with Brittney, and told him about our conversation. I gave him the number, and he called, but got the voice mail. We figured that was it.

The following Monday, Mr. Boss decided to call a few places I had told him about. I reminded him to call the woman that Brittney told us about again. He did. This time? He got through. The funny thing? This woman claimed she had no idea who Brittney was! Weird!Anyway, it sounded good, so she sent us an application. We filled it out and faxed it back the same day. All of the sudden we hear she has called our current landlord, and he gave us his highest regards! We passed the background check, and sent the $35 to pay for that. And, a couple of days ago, we sent our deposit. The place is ours, ready for us, whenever we can get out there!

It's been so interesting, after all of the frustration and discouragement we've been feeling, after getting to a point where we'd pretty much accepted that we wouldn't get out there exactly when we wanted, that this all came about. I searched and searched for what felt like an endless 3 months. As we approached mid-May I realized, there is no way we are going to get out there by June 1, like we'd hoped. And then bam! it all comes together, and we really will be out there by June 1!
It absolutely reaffirms my belief that we are supposed to go to Colorado, even though it is one of the hardest things I will likely ever do. There is a reason for us to be there, so we are going, with a hope for bigger and better things.
Wish us luck!

eleven down, one to go...

2011-05-16T22:26:00.004-06:00

In one month, one short month, baby Z will turn one. My chubby, fat baby is extremely disobedient. He refuses to listen when I tell him that he needs to be my tiny guy forever. Kids these days...
In the pictures above he is demonstrating his newest skill. He's folding his arms. Isn't that adorable?! Mr. Boss taught him that in about 20 minutes. Smarty-pants Z picked it right up. (And then there is the hilarious center picture that had to be included, that was the face he made when Mr. Boss blew in his face.)And, of course, now that he is old enough to start picking things up, we are teaching him very important things. Like...what a shark says... (dun-dun) And fake coughing (it's his favorite thing).Sometimes, I get lucky and catch faces like this when I'm trying to get him to fake cough at me, and he doesn't quite feel like humoring me.Other times he shows me what a sweetheart he is, when he grabs his teddy in a big bear hug, planting a smooch on it's head. (Truth is...and I shouldn't tell you this, because I want you to believe that he is smooching that bear, but he's not. He ferociously grabbed that bear out of my hands and chomped down on his head. Not as cute and cuddly as what the image leads you to think, but really dang cute nonetheless!)

p.s. Z has finally, and officially made it....to 20 lbs! We'll have a parade tomorrow to celebrate!

camera fun.

2011-05-11T22:27:00.002-06:00

So, there's this thing I've been thinking about trying for quite a while now, and just haven't done it. But today, well, today I did. See, we've got some empty formula cans...you know...because sometimes I don't throw certain "garbages" away right away... Um, anyway. I grabbed an empty formula can, used a nail to make a hole in the bottom, and then I had some fun. Check out the pictures I took:

This one is actually a picture of a picture.
I took this one with my canon, but loved it so much,
I had to share, and this was the only way.
...someday...soonish (I hope) I will have internet on my computer!
Here is the actual picture from my canon.
(Yep, I've got a computer and some internet! Yay me!)

I really love the effect. ...I don't actually know what it's called, this thing that I did, but it's awesome. The way the light is captured differently, the shadows. It makes the pictures so soft and romantic-like.
Anyway, that is the fun I had today.
The end.

mothers do not have to be perfect

2011-05-08T21:54:00.001-06:00

(quotes from my talk today, as well as a few of my own words.)

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children.
...What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."

M. Russell Ballard

"The true spirit of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives to woman the highest place of honor in human life. ...It is she...who wields gradually and constantly the impress of character to childhood and youth, ...who makes home a haven of bliss or a den of discontent, who at her best gives to life its sweetest hopes and choicest blessings."

The First Presidency

"If you have determined to live righteously" -- or, might I add, to mother perfectly, -- "don't become discouraged. Life may seem difficult now, but hold on tightly to that iron rod of truth. You are making better progress than you realize."

Richard G. Scott

"If you are helpless, He is not. If you are lost, He is not. If you don't know what to do next, he knows. It would take a miracle, you say? Well, if it takes a miracle, why not?"

Boyd K. Packer (more here.)

"Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. ...There is great power in a prayer that essentially says 'We are the steward parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as thou wouldst.'"

M. Russell Ballard

"We all seem to measure ourselves by what we see in others, and that's others at their best, scrubbed and polished physically and emotionally. Yet we judge ourselves at our worst. Consequently, we're sure to come out on the short end of the stick, always inadequate."

Claudia T. Goates

We have not been left alone in our mothering efforts. Our lives are less than perfect, God knows that we are less than perfect. That is why he has provided us a way to receive His guidance and counsels. We have our Savior's example, words from prophets and inspired leaders from past and present, and personal revelation. Through these we can come to know of our Father's will for us and for the children with whom we've been entrusted.
If we follow the guidance and counsel that we receive, we will be blessed and our efforts will be rewarded.

"If you have done your best, which you usually do, your humble offering, whatever it may be, will be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord."

James E. Faust

Happy Mother's Day!

nervous.

2011-05-05T21:45:00.001-06:00

This post is basically to tell you that I have nothing to say. My mind is all jumbled and my tummy is full of butterflies. Why? Oh, because I was asked to speak in church on Sunday. And I haven't spoken in church since high school (which means it's been at least 6 years, if you really wanted to know). And I don't know what I'll say, and I feel ridiculously unqualified to speak about motherhood. (Yes, the woman with 3 children feels unqualified to speak on motherhood..)
To be honest, I'm really only freaking out about what to say. As I've thought about it, I actually feel comfortable speaking because I will be speaking to a room full of friends. But what to say?! My mind is blank of any mothering stories that I could tell. And I don't just want to stand there reading quote after awesome quote (because I could, but what's original about that?) Anyway, I'll not be blogging until after I write this talk...so, probably no posts until Sunday.
Eep...wish me luck! (And if you have any helpful ideas, please oh please! share!)

fun hair

2011-05-03T17:00:00.000-06:00

I really love having a girl, and doing her hair. And I really love the hair blogs I've found. There is so much inspiration, and I've found things that I'd never done before. It has opened up the possibilities for me to be able to create new-to-me hairstyles.
One style that I absolutely love on Miss E is the side ponytail/messy bun. Because she's still got some short, wispy baby hairs I'm not bale to pull it together into a single ponytail. I usually have to connect several sections to get it how I want it. This is just another variation to achieve that side pony-tail. (And I'm no hair blogger, so I didn't take step by step pictures.)

This time I decided to simplify the sectioned-side-ponytail and only do three sections of hair.

But three plain sections was kind of boring, so I added the rope twists.

Then I combined the two rope twist "braids" to form this awesome chain-like braid
(or "hawser" braid...)

Then I connected the chain into the final section.
It could be left as a ponytail, but I like the messy bun.

Apparently there are several techniques to achieve the messy bun look.
I think mine is pretty simple, have hair pulled into pony-tail, grab a second elastic,
(hmmm, I don't know how to explain this part...)
pull random sections of the pony-tail through, which makes loops and the messy look.
Sorry I can't explain it better.

Anyway, here's the front. I left a few of the wispy hairs out around her face, so her bangs wouldn't be lonely.
If you wanted, you could curl the sections you leave out,
E's hair has a natural curl, though, so it did that on its own.

And here is her nerdy face to finish. Silly girl.

boy on the lawn

2011-05-02T21:47:00.001-06:00

Sunshine is glorious, is it not? And it showed it's shiny face yesterday (and again today!), bringing warmth that had been seriously missed.
At one point in the day, Z's pants got a little messy, so he went without them for the rest of the day, and that was okay! Then we took advantage of the warmth by going outside for a bit and, while we were out, we stuck him in the grass.

Normally, when set in grass, he crawls in the regular style. But the grass on his skin didn't do it for him, I guess. I was cracking up as I watched him do the "elephant" crawl through the lawn.

Gosh, I sure do love him!

women's role

2011-05-01T22:48:00.003-06:00

You were not created to be the same as men. Your natural attributes, affections, and personalities are entirely different from those of a man. They consist of faithfulness, benevolence, kindness, and charity. They also balance the more aggressive and competitive nature of man.
The business world is competitive and sometimes ruthless. We do not doubt that women have both the brainpower and the skills to compete with men. But by competing they must, of necessity, become aggressive and competitive. Thus their godly attributes are diminished and they acquire a quality of sameness with man.
The conventional wisdom of the day would have you be equal with men. We say, we would not have you descend to that level.

Ezra Taft Benson, Woman, Deseret Book, 1979, p.71

I found this quote in a old seminary notebook, and thought it was a good one to share. Hope you like it.
Click here for more on the specialness of women.

sometimes I make an effort with my own hair...

2011-04-29T22:31:00.004-06:00

It's not often, but sometimes I do like to do a little something with my hair.
Because I love to do E's hair, and enjoy finding new ideas and tricks, I frequent a couple of hair blogs. Recently I came across this hairstyle and immediately wanted to try it out. On myself.
It was pretty easy, a little frustrating and, oh, my hair isn't quite long enough, so it doesn't really look the way it should. But I really did love how it turned out. A little messy, a little elegant, and out of my face. I'll probably do it again sometime, especially when my hair is longer. (Then I, maybe, won't have to use so many pins!):

tu-tu

2011-04-28T12:07:00.000-06:00

In my family, I am known as the crafty, artistic sibling. My sister who is just older than me, on the other hand, is not so crafty or artistic (but she's a better cook than me one billion times over, and food is more important.)
Recently, my not-crafty sis was told that she needed to present something handmade in one of her classes. She asked for my help. She decided she wanted to make a tu-tu. She liked the one I made for E's 1st birthday,

and asked me to show her how to make one. Of course, if she was going to make a tu-tu, and I was going to show her how, then I was going to make one, too.
We got together and went to JoAnn's with our girls, so they could pick the colors of tulle for their tu-tus. My niece (with some suggestions from my sis) picked two lovely shades of purple. E was indecisive, so I picked what I liked and she agreed with my choices.
I looked up the same tu-tutorial that I had used the last time and, when we got back to my house, we began the cutting. My sister went first and cut her tulle, according to my instruction. Imagine my shame when I realized I'd told her to cut her pieces the wrong size! Oops. (Sorry!) But that is one of the great things about tu-tus: once they're all finished, you can't see any mistakes. And if you can, they're pretty easy to remedy.
Anyway, I finished mine a couple of days later, to E's delight. And, when it was all done, she modeled it for me:

I tied some of the extra tulle in her hair,
so she had this enormous, matching bow!

Little girls and tu-tus go together like cake and ice cream.

We even took her to run errands in it.
I loved being at the library and the store, noticing the reactions of the people who saw her.
There was one older gentleman who saw her while we were at the library.
He took one look at her and grinned and said "Ooh, how cute!" to the person he was with.

Easter.

2011-04-27T17:00:00.000-06:00

I never should've said it. Never should have thought that we were on the mend. Since I wrote about that, Z developed a fever and now E has quite the temperature. I am pretty much convinced that this will never end...

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Easter.
So, Easter was low-key at our house. I've never done baskets for the kids, but in years previous the kids have gotten baskets from my mom, and we've gone to a friends place for an egg hunt. But mom lives in another state now, and we decided we could do without the egg hunt (even if I do love eating all that candy...)
There was one thing that I couldn't not do: I "had" to get the kids new Easter outfits. Not that they really need more clothing, but I just love having a reason to match my boys and put E in a fancy new dress.
Now, without further ado, my good-looking babes:

As soon as I mentioned that I wanted to take a picture, this stud leaned himself up against the fireplace, crossed his legs at the ankle and posed for me! I might be in trouble here.

And here is my princess. Doesn't she look lovely?!

Silly girl...

And here's the pretty hair. I don't feel like going into details about it, though. I will say, it looked so pretty with the ribbon and flower clips (which I threw together in about 5 minutes. Thank you pre-made flowers and handy-dandy glue gun.) You like?

And then, and then...

My porcupine. He was so handsome. I don't even know what to say about my little buddy. All I can think of is....oh, he is too cute for his own good!

He fell asleep with his teddy on the way home from church. Oh, be still my heart. I wish these precious moments could last forever.

And that is it. Some might call our Easter boring and, in fact, there is a woman who Mr. Boss works with who thinks we're terrible parents because we didn't do baskets or egg hunts.... It makes me laugh. But I really like keeping it simple. For me, it makes it easier to explain why we celebrate. And "easy" is my favorite word.

10 months, 2.5 years

2011-04-26T22:41:00.001-06:00

I set out to write this post this morning. But my phone is soooo slow and I could not keep my eyes open! (I can't wait until I have a computer. Posting will be so much quicker and easier then!)

Anyway, a pretty important day recently passed. The 15th was Z's tenth month-day!
He is growing into such a handsome thing. And he is so close to leaving the baby stage for the toddler stage. He crawls like a maniac, blazing trails left and right, and then stands himself up to anything. The couche, the stoop, the baby gate, chairs, my leg, the wall. And if he sees something he wants he shuffles his feet to get closer (or he does it the quick way: dropping to his knees, crawling over, pulling up. He's no dummy!)

He is this sweet little man, totally a mama's boy. He's always cuddling into me, and he's been giving kisses (adorable!). He gets so excited when I smile at him. All I have to do is get his attention, flash him a great big smile and he lights up and squeals with joy.
He loves his papa, too. When Mr. Boss gets home Z starts looking around and, if he's on the floor, will crawl to the gate, excitedly repeating "Dada! Dada!"
He's got us all swooning.

His 6th tooth has arrived, and I'm of the opinion that #7 and #8 are working their way out. He claps, and is so pleased with his new skill. And he's started, on occasion, attempting to sign "more". It really looks like a clap, but it's just a little different, and when I ask him if he wants more he gets excited, like, "Holy cow! She knows what I'm saying!"
He really loves to cuddle his teddy bear when he gets into bed. The older two loved their pacifiers and cuddly blankets, but Z loves his teddy. As soon as you pass it to him, he wraps his left arm around it and jams his thumb in his mouth.
He's a funny kid, always snorting and grunting and screwing up his face and, if I copy him, he gets excited and does it more. He is so pleasant, happy, ticklish and a big sweetheart. He's got me wrapped around his chubby little finger.

The 15th was also a special day for E. She is now 2 1/2! It's hard to believe that, when we moved into this house, she wasn't even 1 yet, and now she's less than 6 months from her 3rd birthday!

Yesterday I was reading a church magazine that had a few pictures of temples on the cover. She was looking at it and, all of the sudden, she began to sing, in her cute, cartoony voice:
I love to see the temple
I'm going there someday
To feel the holy Spirit
To listen and to pray
For the temple is a house of God,
A place of love and beauty
I'll prepare myself while I am young
This is my sacred duty...
...I'll prepare myself while I am young
This is my sacred duty.
All on her own, word for word, and I almost died when she repeated the last two lines. She is a smart, funny girl. And so very animated. She has got some of the best faces, and you would not believe just how big her massive blue eyes can get! She keeps us laughing, for sure. And she does well at keeping daddy under her spell, constantly reducing him to putty in her hands.
Mr. Boss has said he doesn't want/doesn't think we'll have anymore girls. I think he says that because he knows he can't take it. Which just has me hoping we have at least one more. (Hey, if I'm shooting for 10 babies, chances are decent that I'll get another girl, right?)

E likes to be pretty and loves to have her hair done. But when I try to sit her down for a new style, she runs away from me. Once I catch her, though, she's very good about holding still.

Last Friday I tried a couple of new hairstyles, I was trying to find a pretty one for Easter. She is modeling this 'do in these pictures. After some modification, it ended up being the 'do we went with. I'll share those pictures in my Easter post, which will, hopefully, come tomorrow.

Anyway, I thought we were on the mend, but now Z has a fever all over again. (He's the one who got the fever first, so it's sad to see him suffering again.) I'm hoping that, by tomorrow, he'll be feeling a little better.
Seriously, if we could take a little break from the sickies? That would be awesome!

i lost my groove....

2011-04-25T23:20:00.002-06:00

It feels like we've been battling sickness after sickness over the past several weeks in the Boss home.

in the midst of unpleasantness, poor E passed out on the couch, in a rather precarious position...
(What you can't see: her legs hanging off the front of the couch.)
It's gotten to a point where, even though we all seem to be on the mend now (at least I hope we get a break...), and even though I wanted to write, my mind was still on active sick patrol, just in case. And now I've lost my groove...although I'm not sure I ever really had one to begin with...
Of course I had plenty of time for facebook and to comment on the blogs I visited, but to actually put together a post required more effort than I was willing/able to make.
I'm hoping I'll do better this week. I have several things I want to mention, from last week, and from Easter (which was super low-key, but you should see how spiffy* my babes were!) So, yes, I'll try to do better.
But I'm not promising anything.

*yeah, I said "spiffy." I'm just that cool.

He is risen

2011-04-24T11:00:00.004-06:00

I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me,
though he were dead, yet shall he live:
And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.
John 11:25-26
Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them.
And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre.
And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus.
And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments:
And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead?
He is not here, but is risen...
And returned from the sepulchre, and told all these things unto the eleven, and to all the rest.
Luke 24:1-6, 9
Peter therefore went forth, and that other disciple, and came to the sepulchre.
So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre.
And he stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in.
Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie,
And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself.
...Then the disciples went away again unto their own home.
But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre,
And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.
And they said unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.
And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.
Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou has laid him, and I will take him away.
Jesus saith unto her, Mary, she turned herself, and saith unto him, ...Master.
Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father, but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.
John 20:3-7, 10-17

And if Christ had not risen from the dead,
or have broken the bands of death that the grave should have no victory,
and that death should have no sting, there could have been no resurrection.
But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory,
and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.
He is the light and the life of the world;
yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened;
yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death.
Mosiah 16:7-9

Happy Easter!!

you are a precious pearl

2011-04-17T18:17:00.005-06:00

I almost didn't go to church today. Poor E has been miserably sick, and Mr. Boss discovered a large, yucky mess, about 5 minutes before I should have been walking out the door. He insisted I stay home and help him. I almost did. I felt so bad about the whole thing. But, in the end, I'm glad I went to church, because...
Today we got a new Bishop. It was a surprise, a bitter-sweet surprise. And it all occurred in an incredibly powerful meeting. I was grateful to be present and to listen as my new Bishop addressed us in the congregation for the first time in his new calling. As he finished up his remarks, he shared a scripture followed by an interesting thought, which I would like to share with you, my friend.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:
Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.

Matthew 13:44-46
Now, think of it like this: Imagine that you are the treasure hid in a field, you are the one pearl of great price. Now imagine that the man is the Savior, who desired you, so much, that he gave all he had, even his life. He did so, because you are that precious to Him.
Whether or not that is the scripture's intended meaning, I know that it is true. I know that the Savior loves and cares for each and every person, individually, and because of that love he suffered in Gethsemane and on the cross, paying the ultimate price, simply because you are worth it. I am worth it.

caakies.

2011-04-16T21:36:00.003-06:00

(It's like cookies, but with cake.)

There was a super fun (hello, free dinner!) ward potluck tonight. I signed up to bring a dessert. I wanted to take something extra delicious, and found the perfect treat. ...Buuut, when it came down to it, I was feeling kind of lazy. So, I made something easy.

I've been making these tasty treats ever since Michelle posted the simple recipe back in '09. They were an instant favorite, and they're kind of my go-to treat whenever I have to take something somewhere.
Anyway, I decided to glam them up a little bit this time. Normally I just cover them in powdered sugar, which I did with the first group...

Then, with the next bunch, I dipped 1/4 of the balls in rainbow non-pareils and 3/4 in powdered sugar...

And made the last few 1/4 green sprinkles, 3/4 powdered sugar.

The best part (or worst part?) is that I only had 2 cookies out of the whole batch (which I doubled, by the way). They were a big hit. And that's why I like 'em. Easy and amazing.

helado.

2011-04-14T11:39:00.002-06:00

It's not very often that we have ice cream in the freezer. It's even less often that I'm able to eat some in the middle of the day, without having to share. So you'd better believe I took advantage of the opportunity to have a couple scoops today, while the children were in their room.
In case you were wondering, bliss tastes like black raspberry and chocolate thin mint. Today is a good day.

birthday re-cap

2011-04-13T22:14:00.007-06:00

On my birthday I...

hung out in my car, by temple square, with the children

and my heart-breaker nephew,

found some blossoms on snowy Capitol Hill,

played with Z's chubby cheeks
(ignore the peeling nail polish..),

found more reminders of spring to cheer me up,
(it shouldn't snow on my birthday, but it happens a lot.),

pretended I was an insect,

took a large number of photos of my birthday flowers (thanks Mrs. Smith!),

saw a heart in the cloud break (can you see it?),

had my birthday wish come true (blue sky!) without ever having to blow out any candles,
went to dinner with my honey (sorry, no pictures), and

I got a new ride!

It was no California trip,my birthday last year
but I had a pretty-much-perfect birthday.

Thank you to all who helped to make it special
(which is anyone who wished me a happy day!)
You are all wonderful friends!

Jerk.

2011-04-13T21:24:00.000-06:00

Oh my....
So, I'm sitting on the couch, trying to put a post together...
when, out of the corner of my eye, I notice movement.
Turn my head and bam!...
I feel like Little Miss Muffet...

Disgusting little jerk....
I jumped off the couch, found something to trap it...
Got it to the counter, now I'm waiting for Mr. Boss to get home
So he can, you know, defend my honor and kill the sucker...
Because I am that kind of girl...
The kind that can have a home birth
and still cower in fear of an itsy-bisty jerk.

And now, I have the heebie-jeebies.
Happens every time.
Oh, how I loathe spiders...

* * * * *

Well, Mr. Boss came home.
And teased me relentlessly.
But I can take it.
Just not a spider who tries to get cozy with me on the couch.

Sunday thought on a Monday night

2011-04-11T22:11:00.002-06:00

"Our women are not incredible because they have managed to avoid the difficulties of life—quite the opposite. They are incredible because of the way they face the trials of life. Despite the challenges and tests life has to offer—from marriage or lack of marriage, children’s choices, poor health, lack of opportunities, and many other problems—they remain remarkably strong and immovable and true to the faith. Our sisters throughout the Church consistently 'succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.'”

Quentin L. Cook LDS Women Are Incredible!

porcupine**

2011-04-07T10:04:00.002-06:00

I'm going to tell you the one thing that brings me the very most joy.
And it's not chocolate...(whaaaat?!)
My greatest joy and simplest pleasure is....

chubsy baby fingers, chubsy baby legs, chubsy baby toes.
I love chubsy babies.

**In case you didn't know, "porcupine" is the name C bestowed on baby Z before he was born.

spring cleaning.

2011-04-06T06:40:00.004-06:00

I have discovered...

that April snow doesn't bother me so much...

because I know, in the end...

spring will prevail!

April 3, 2011
I realized something today. I realized that I haven't posted on my photo blog in nearly 2 months, and that isn't even counting the entire moth of January that I missed when I took my month-long break from internet (which was not as hard as you'd think, by the way.)
I've even stopped trying to take pictures everyday. I began to forget a day here and a day there, bit by bit it became less important. I just don't have time to update multiple blogs. So, I'm cutting the apron strings. Happy Day Images is no more. If I do take a pretty picture that desperatley needs to be shared, I will post it here, under the tag "happy day".
I've got the spring-cleaning itch. I'm closing a blog, I donated a ton of stuff to DI yesterday (including my Christmas tree that I've had for 5 years! That is a big deal people!) I want to empty my home, declutter like I've never done before. (Seriously, I have a ton of junk, it's kind of, really sad.) I need this place empty, clean, manageable. Especially since I have to pack it all up...but that's something I'll save for another post.

**Do you have an easy time, or is it difficult for you (like me), to throw things out? Do you have any tips for someone, prone to hoarding, who desires to become more of a minimalist?

uplifted.

2011-04-03T19:30:00.000-06:00

Conference was incredible. I feel inspired. I feel uplifted. My heart is full.
I tried to take notes, but I don't write fast enough, so the notes are incomplete, otherwise I would share something.
Instead I would like to touch on the music. I felt as though I was listening to angelic choruses. The words of the speakers were inspired and the music touched my soul.
How Firm A Foundation was one of the hymns during the Saturday Afternoon session. Mr. Boss has a hymnbook, so I read along with the words as the hymn was sung. I love the 3rd verse and, even thou they were not sung, the 4th and 5th were the verses my eyes were drawn to. I would like to share those three verses today.

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

How Firm A Foundation hymns #85

April 2011 General Conference Sessions

Oh, April, I'm so glad you're here!

2011-04-01T17:10:00.000-06:00

Z is growing up too fast. He worked for so long to achieve mobility and, since then, has been going, going, going. Within a week or two of figuring out how to work his hands and legs into a crawl, he began to pull up. He could only get onto his knees, until Wednesday night, when he stood himself up on the side of C's bed. And today, for the first time, he took steps as I held his pudgy little hands. My baby is going to be out of the baby stage so soon! I don't know if my heart can take it...
But on to today, what a gorgeous day!

Pretty little flowers make my heart sing.

Z loved being outside.
He's really enjoyed experiencing Spring.

I love the days when we're finally able to go outside without jackets.

simple peasures

2011-03-31T21:38:00.001-06:00

Today was such a gloriously lovely, warm and sunny day. I had the windows wide open all morning as I did laundry. (That's right, I actually did some laundry...I'm pretty amazing, I guess...) Then, when Mr. Boss got home, we headed out on an adventure that included:

The coolest park ever (which I don't have pictures of),

and precious E and Z cracking up on the swings. (Seriously, it was hilarious.)

A gorgeous sunset,

breathtaking views,

and a drive past the beautiful Mount Timpanogos temple.
(We love to see the temple!)
All in all, a pretty prefect day. But so is every day that I spend with my sweet little family!

2011-03-27T19:30:00.001-06:00

"We want to be ladies in very deed, not according to the term of the word as the world judges, but fit companions of the Gods and Holy Ones. In an organized capacity we can assist each other in not only doing good but in refining ourselves, and whether few or many come forward and help to prosecute this great work, they will be those that will fill honorable positions in the Kingdom of God.
. . .Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and to each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities."
—Eliza R. Snow, as quoted by Julie B. Beck

it's been 5 years, little shrub

2011-03-25T19:45:00.003-06:00

March 25, 2006 was an exciting day of firsts: my first road trip with a non-relative and my first time visiting gorgeous Moab.
It was two weeks before my 19th birthday and I wanted to do something awesome to celebrate: camp. Because March is not the best month for camping anywhere in northern Utah, I decided we should go to Moab. The only real problem: I had never been, and didn't know where any campgrounds were, or how much it would cost. So, my dashing, darling Mr. Boss suggested we take a day trip to do some scouting.
We left early in the morning, excited to spend a whole day by ourselves! As we traveled south we talked and joked and flirted, it was perfect. As we got farther south, out of the more developed regions, we began to see some of the glorious natural beauty that our state has to offer. I'm pretty sure I looked like a dog, with my head hanging out the window, tongue flapping in the wind....OK, that didn't really happen....but I felt as though my eyes weren't possibly big enough to take in the gorgeous scenery. I was so very grateful at that point that I was not driving. (It is so much more difficult to admire these sorts of things when you have to focus on the road, you know? Poor Mr. Boss!)
We arrived in Moab around 12:30 and, first things first, found a quaint diner where we could eat lunch. As we ate we talked about the overwhelming beauty of the red rock and the thrill of being by ourselves, so far away from everyone we knew.
After lunch we made our way to the car, and then drove around aimlessly for a while, not sure where to go and distracted by our new surroundings. Eventually we passed a sign that pointed the way to Dead Horse Point. That sounded like a place to begin our campground search.As we followed the road towards the Point, our conversation became less playful and more serious as we began discussing religion and our similar, yet somewhat differing beliefs. When we arrived we climbed out of the car and made our way into the visitors center to find out if they had any information for potential campers. As we looked around, we continued our conversation, keeping our voices down, so as not to annoy the two other people in the building. Finally, Mr. Boss suggested we take our chat to the car, so that we could have some privacy. It was the most interesting talk, as we shared our thoughts and ideas, I began to realize that my beliefs were stronger than I thought they were.A light storm rolled in, and the pressure on top of the warmth made sitting in a car uncomfortable, so we got out and walked around the grounds. As we walked I looked around me. The view was amazing, and the plant life was different than what I was used to seeing. I thought the colorful, little shrubs were so cute.
Suddenly, as I admired these cute shrubs, a scene from the movie Charly, when they're on their first date at the park, popped into my head. My heart began to pound as I asked Mr. Boss to pick a shrub, any shrub would do. He motioned towards a small, yellow one, and I led him over to it. Then, looking at the shrub (and avoiding Mr. Boss's surely confused gaze) I said: "Hello, little Shrub, we have just gotten engaged, and you're the first one we've told!"Next thing I knew, Mr. Boss had whipped me around towards him, with a somewhat confused, somewhat nervous look on his face. After moment he spoke, "Cris, will you marry me?" Everything else melted away. It was just me, Mr. Boss, and the shrub. Even after what I had just said to the shrub, his question surprised me, but my answer was immediate. Of course I said "yes!"
At this point, we no longer cared about finding a campground. That plan was dead. Suddenly there was this new, overwhelmingly great reality. Then Mr. Boss hit me with another big one: "Can we keep this secret for a while?" I agreed.
He hadn't intended to ask me to marry him that day. We had discussed the matter before, and had both agreed that it would be best to wait, to not even think about marriage, until we'd been dating at least one year, so to be a week shy of our 3 month anniversary was so different from our plan. Plus, he wanted to ask my dad before we told anyone.
As we made our way home that evening there was a newness in the air. We had the memory of this amazing trip, and an exciting secret that had us a little bit bubbly and a lot nervous. Most of all, I was reeling at the fact that I'd just gotten engaged at 18! But when it's right, it's right and when you know, you know!

Unfortunately, we were so caught up
in the moment that there are
no photographs of our time
at Dead Horse Point.
All images via google image search.

three happy things

2011-03-23T19:32:00.003-06:00

I am in an inexplicably giddy mood...
So, I'm giving you a happy, hyper post about
the three things that are thrilling and tickling my insides...
(Way to go alliteration! Thanks Oma!)

Spring, spring, spring! It has sprung!
Oh my goodness, I cannot even contain myself,
I am so happy it is spring!!!

I might die, because this baby is cuter than everything.
I'm not even being dramatic, my heart will probably stop the next time I look at him.
How is my baby so dreamy?
(I am not obsessed with my own child...)

Oh yeah! I can't forget: in sixteen short days,
the lovely person photographed below will have a birthday!

I haven't got a single clue how I will celebrate.
(I never do, and it usually ends up that I don't do much, if anything at all...but)
I am really excited!!!

charity.

2011-03-20T18:08:00.004-06:00

via google image search

"We need to be kinder with one another, more gentle and more forgiving. We need to be slower to anger and more prompt to help. We need to extend the hand of friendship and resist the hand of retribution. In short, we need to love one another with the pure love of Christ, with genuine charity and compassion and, if necessary, shared suffering, for that is the way God loves us."
President Howard W. Hunter

. . .wherefore, the Lord God hath given a commandment that all men should have charity, which charity is love. And except they should have charity they were nothing. . . .
2 Nephi 26:30

I didn't wear green.

2011-03-17T22:38:00.004-06:00

Today was a hard day, actually, I've been having a rough time since last night. Sister was complaining that her tummy hurt, and she was running a fever, poor girl. So I made her a bed on the floor in my room, with towels, of course, just in case. First I couldn't fall asleep because I was listening so intently to her. Then she woke up around 2 in the morning, and stayed in my bed for the rest of the night, tossing and turning. All the while her face felt, to me, like it was on fire.

You would think that my day would've been easier, because she stayed in bed for most of it, but you would be wrong. Today was stress-full.

There was some goodness to the day, though. While Sister rested, visitors came, old friends from my chocolate store days. They brought their adorable little ones (the youngest of the bunch is just 5 weeks old. You'd better believe we all enjoyed that!) And, when we weren't busy admiring the baby...oh, who am I kidding?...as we were admiring the baby we also devoted some of our attention to a special treat.

One of my friends is amazing when it comes to cakes and today she taught us how to make cake pops! Super easy and super delicious! I kind of think these will be my go to treat for birthday parties...these and cupcakes, because I am in love with cupcakes.

“There is nothing better than a friend,
unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
― Charles Dickens
We made them nice and festive with green melting chocolate. We had to celebrate somehow, I guess, since we didn't dress up. (Little One is the only one who ended up in green at all today, and I didn't even do it on purpose.) At least nobody was mean enough to pinch us!

cake pops: fun, easy to make, and delicious to eat. Though I may have gotten a little carried away with the dipping.

the length of a pregnancy.

2011-03-16T16:15:00.001-06:00

My baby is 9 months old. I feel like I have no words. Thank goodness for pictures!

9 months equals crawling,

pulling up,

eating big kid food (including whatever mom is eating),

screeching and squealing,
giggles and ticklish spots,
five teeth (with one more so very close),

some self feeding,
fewer cuddles,
more bonks,
eyes that threaten to stay blue,
tears,
grabbing,
reaching,
following,
getting into things that shouldn't be gotten into,
smiles,

love,
and the occasional open-mouthed kiss.

Struggle pt. 2

2011-03-14T08:27:00.001-06:00

I've been trying to write this post for a few days now. It's been hard to the find time, and the words. This is a hard post for me to write, but I feel like this is something I need to share. Part 1 here.

I was sure I would find, at 5 months, that a had a 20 or 21 lb baby, but the scale blinked up the same number as the month before. 19 lbs. That's weird, I thought. I made a conscious effort to feed him more often, while putting off an introduction to solids. And then the soreness began. It was like the first week of nursing all over again. I was so tender, and when my Little One would latch on I would squirm and shake in pain. This was unpleasant. This was different. Why was I sore?
The answer hit me like a ton of bricks, but could I really be pregnant?! I'm not the sort of person to be surprised by a pregnancy. I am aware of my functions and systems, but I couldn't think of any other explanation. So, I took a test. Negative. I was relieved, not that I wouldn't have welcomed a pregnancy, I just didn't want to struggle again, the way I had with Brother. The negative result also brought on more questions. If it wasn't pregnancy that was causing my tenderness, why was I so sore? A few days later, the sensitivity passed and I quit troubling myself about it.

I weighed Little One at 6 months. The scale hadn't budged. I began to feel nervous. Why wasn't my baby gaining weight? I started letting him taste things, figuring out how he reacted to the spoon and new tastes and textures entering his mouth. He seemed mildly interested, but it wasn't a daily occurrence that he would get something besides his mama's milk.
When the tenderness started up again, I began thinking like I had the month before. Was it a pregnancy this time? Again, it wasn't. At this point, my tenderness really began to frustrate me. It hurt so bad, I was scared to feed my babe. I would put off feeding him, and was quick to cut him off, because the pain was unbearable. I thought several times about quitting nursing, I felt like I just couldn't take it anymore. But I just couldn't admit defeat. And I couldn't take that away from my mama milk loving baby, it just didn't feel right.

At 7 months the scale told me my boy was still 19 lbs, and his weight hadn't changed by 8 months. That's 's four months without any weight gain. I began to notice how my once very chubby baby had slimmed considerably, as he kept getting taller, and his 19 lbs was more evenly distributed. At this point I began freaking out a little...OK, a lot. I was doing something wrong, and I needed to make it right.

When I felt I was at the end of my rope, I bought a can of formula. I was sure my Little wouldn't take a bottle, so I didn't even try right away. Instead I focused on adding oatmeal and a scoop of powder to each jar of food I fed to him. I felt like it wasn't helping. In fact, I began to wonder if it might be hindering. I was feeding him solids and still nursing as frequently as I could, but he was still so thin, and always wanted to nurse. The final straw was the day he began crying as he had a bowel movement. It was then that I realized my boy was not getting enough liquid to process all of the extra solids I was feeding him. This is when I began trying to introduce a bottle.
I pushed it and I pushed it, but it just wasn't happening. I felt so discouraged, I didn't want this struggle again. I wanted everything to be perfect and easy, but that is not the way of life.
One day, as I was browsing blogs, I read a post by a friend from my ward who recently chose to quit breastfeeding for reasons of her own. She was very apprehensive about this decision, because her little boy, just days younger than my own tiny guy, had recently taken to refusing the bottle. The very last time she nursed her little boy, she prayed that he would handle the change, and that he would accept the bottle. At his next feeding a miracle took place, her little boy grabbed his bottle and drank the whole thing, like he'd been doing it forever. Her story gave me hope.
Since then I have prayed that I would know what I could do to help my Little One get the nutrients he needs, and that he would be willing to take a bottle, if that was what it would take. It still took a few days, but he is now taking the bottle!
I know that there are ways I could have brought up my milk supply, so as to have avoided this, and I tried a few. I tried bringing my boy back into bed with me, but we both had a very restless sleep, and I couldn't do more than an hour or two of that. No, I do not want to mess with my Little One's ability to sleep through the night. I tried nursing more often during the day, but with two other children to look after, that wasn't really possible either.
Breastfeeding is natural, and is absolutely the best way to feed your baby. But that doesn't mean it is right for everyone. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. As for me, I haven't given up. I'm just adding to it, and doing so lifts a great weight from my shoulders. Little One already feels heavier, and it thrills me to no end.
I am not a failure. I am a mother, and I'm doing the best I can with what I have.